Balls and Walnuts
more than you ever wanted to know
Category Archives: Pix
Cold enough for you?
It snowed Thursday. In California. On the freakin’ coast.
Over the border in Oregon, here’s what happened to our garden goldfish tubs:
Pescadero Beach, September, 1997
In my mind’s eye, I can see my son as an infant, toddler, eleven-year-old, and everything in between, a smooth continuum. I wonder if it will always be this way. I hope so. I hope, twenty, thirty years from now, that I have the opportunity to think these thoughts.
Last night, Jake asked his mom, “If you had one wish, what would it be?” And good mama that Karen is, she replied, “I would wish you would have the happiest life you can possibly have.”
Sorry. I’m still a bit freaked out over Bush’s saber-rattling tonight vis a vis Iran and Syria; and Chris Matthews just said, “A lot of people are going to go to bed tonight terrified.” My response: Oh, yeah. Terror is a good word for it. We’ve been in Iraq for four years and we’re in the shit deeper than ever. In seven years, Jake will be eighteen. Do any of you doubt that, given enough leash, Bush would want an American military presence in Iraq seven years from now? And when does reality truly set in — when will we see reinstitution of the draft? The man clearly has escalation on his mind, escalation of unconscionable proportions. At some point, he’s going to run out of bodies.
Yes, maybe everything will be hunky-dory in two years when Bush leaves office. But what about the 17- and 18-year-old kids who are in harm’s way now? Also, I don’t doubt Bush’s talent for getting us into a mess so horrific we can’t extricate ourselves in any simple fashion . . . even with a Democrat as president.
Folks keep talking about the Democratic Congress’s wondrous powers of investigation and subpoena. Will investigations prevent Bush from taking pot-shots at Iran and Syria? Will subpoenas bring the troops home?
He’s a danger to our security, to our children, and to the world. Impeachment is the only solution.
D.
Thirteen college memories: sophomore year
Mind-boggling, isn’t it, that I haven’t written a Thirteen for my year in the dorms? Well, not really that mind-boggling. Sophomore year was one of my worst years ever, so I don’t go there without some trepidation.By the way, I’ve added a new category for my Thirteen fans: Thirteen Candles. All Thirteen, All the Time. Revel in it.
Below the cut: thirteen dormie memories. (Here’s a photo of the cast of characters; and if you’re jumping into this out of sequence, here’s the freshman year thirteen.)
We’re back!
The eats were good and the weather balmy, so we spent an extra night in Eureka (our nearest “big” city). Thursday night we ate at Cin Cin, an upscale Italian place, where the most memorable dish was a platter of five cheeses, walnuts, grapes, and honey. Mmm, walnuts dipped in honey. Jake, the Salt Monster, discovered he could dip grapes in honey and sprinkle them with cracked salt. Don’t knock it ’til you try it.
Biggest dessert hit was the panna cotta, which I had never had before. Karen says they did an unusually good job of it, so I’m tempted to see if I can make one at least as fine. As for main courses, Jake had gnocchi, I had about the most perfect scallops imaginable (seared/caramelized on one side, quick-seared on the other), and I think Karen had a salad.
Family photo below the cut . . .
TIME’s Person of the Year: Me!
Like there was ever any doubt?
But what’s with this mirror b.s.? They could have used any of my pubbed photos, or I could have posed for a new one. It took me ten minutes to, ahem, whip this one out:
This isn’t an original idea. Blue Gal got there before me (with a very creepy offering), as did Commandante Agi (whose cover featuring Rick Santorum’s family out-creepies Blue Gal. Truth is always stranger than fiction). Read Commandante Agi’s message thread for more photoshopping goodness; and if you do one of your own using Commandante Agi’s blank Time cover, feel free to post a link below.
That’s it for me for this evening, my lovelies. Yesterday morning, I thought I had at last beat this evil crud, but by Sunday evening it had returned with bells on. Is it a new virus? Has the old one mutated? Who knows! Who cares! Shoot me now!
Tomorrow: de-ratting our house, the Next Chapter.
D.
Krugy gets a threesome
You remember Krugy, my wandering sperm? That lucky boy has seen some lush boobage as well as some delightful back-door action. Now, he’s experienced every spermatozoon’s wet dream: the ménage à trois.
First came Kris,
Then came Rella,
Then Krugy got down to some hot pussy action:
Butt cleavage bonanza
Recently, I received the following email from Chester Langgröd, CEO of Flickr:
Dear Mr. Walnut,
We were dismayed by the recent poor showing of Flickr versus our competitor, Google (Flickr and Google Go Toe to Toe), vis a vis cameltoe images. Indeed, we hold your competition largely responsible for last quarter’s shortfall in Flickr’s page views. We at Flickr consider it our solemn responsibility to become the internet’s slickest entry portal for viewers of salacious images, and have in recent weeks provided numerous incentives to our patrons, encouraging them to upload a wide range of unique and stimulating graphic content (see the recent Wall Street Journal article entitled Eager to Capture Soft Core Market, Flickr Pitches Big Tent).
Accordingly, we would like to encourage you to host a rematch, possibly using one of the following search terms:
ass bandit
ass crack
ass master
Seven pages of suggestions follow, concluding with:
well hung
wet beaver
X-rated.
I’m sure you will be pleased by our upgraded content.
Yours in faith,
Chester Langgröd, CEO
Okay, Mr. Langgröd, you’re on. However, since some of my readers are underage, I’m going to go with the somewhat tamer search term (which you did not suggest), butt cleavage. Let’s see how you and Google stack up.
Friends, some of these images may not be work safe.
Foot and fist
Today, Jake had his first Taekwondo tournament. (Per Wikipedia, Tae Kwon Do and Taekwondo are both correct.) He turned 11 last month, which placed him in the 11-13 age group. Yippee. So he was the shortest and lightest kid in his group; but did that faze him? Naw.
I’d say That’s my boy right about now, except I was a craven coward at his age. Um, at any age. In 7th grade, when I mouthed off about a girl I didn’t even know and it transpired she was standing RIGHT BEHIND ME, I lived in terror for weeks that she would hunt me down and slaughter me. I checked out some martial arts books from the library, took one look, and cringed. Me? Do that?
But this isn’t about me. Here’s Jake working through his form:
The joys of home schooling
With home schooling, everything becomes educational. Everything. Even pumpkin-carving, for which we’re a few days late. Let’s just say we’ve been gestating ideas.
Photo below the cut.
REAL photos this time
I expect you have recovered from that pumpkin photo?
My brother-in-law sent some photos from their recent visit here. Here’s Jake lighting his birthday cupcake: