Sophisticated humor . . .
sucks.
This is the funniest thing I’ve seen in a long time.
And there’s a sequel for folks who can’t get enough of a good thing.
D.
The new do
My son won’t go for the Mohawk, but I’m an adventurous guy. #2 cut? No way.
Today, I went for the #1.
Thirteen things I miss from my youth
Shaina’s angsty Thirteen made me think about all the things that were great about being young. This is no easy feat, by the way. I could write several Thirteens on what sucked about youth (Shaina, it ends eventually. I guarantee it) but thirteen good things, that’s a different story.
Let’s see how far I get.
An open letter to the boys of Del Norte County
Specifically, the ones hanging out in front of Safeway trying to sell raffle tickets.
Look, no one expects you to dress like a Girl Scout. You don’t even have to dress like a Boy Scout! But you have to agree, I hope, that the Girl Scouts do a bang-up business while you guys are left out in the cold holding your skateboards.
Here’s the thing: no one is going to buy a random raffle ticket. We would kind of like to know what we might WIN, for one thing, and since we realize we’re throwing our money away (most of the time), what the hell charity are we supporting with our dollar? Or however much it is. See, you didn’t even tell me that.
“Would you like to buy a raffle ticket to support the Del Norte Boys A Capella Choir? You could win an all expenses-paid trip for two to Trees of Mystery! It’s only a dollar!”
There. Was that so difficult? And a couple other things would help . . .
Like a couple of cute girls and a dog with a ring around his eye, for example. In fact, I suggest you (A) bribe your girlfriends into doing this for you, and (B) make sure they have nearby a big cardboard box full of puppies for sale. Now you’ve gained valuable experience delegating responsibility, and you’ll sell more raffle tickets, too.
Or you can go on storming up to people, demanding, “BUY A RAFFLE TICKET?” That is, when you’re not screaming at your friends across the parking lot, swearing at and showing off to each other on your bikes and skateboards, etc.
Whatever works for you.
D.
First they fear you
And eventually, they just laugh at you. (Sorry, can’t remember the full quote.*)
Hillary Clinton’s Path to Victory
I don’t know if I’ll be back tonight . . . I have to do a bit of reading tonight.
D.
*Found it. The quote isn’t appropos, I’m afraid.
First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win.
Mohandas Gandhi
Four more favorite covers
. . . cuz I’m feeling lazy tonight.
Swans: Love will tear us apart, a cover of the Joy Division song. I love Michael Gira’s vocals on this one. Jarboe did a cover of the same song when she was with the Swans, and that one’s even better. The best, in fact. I can’t find a linky, unfortunately.
Cowboy Junkies: Sweet Jane, far moodier than Lou Reed’s original. Isn’t Margo Timmins a honey?
Cat Power’s haunting I found a reason. The Velvet Underground song is, by comparison, unrecognizable. Her Satisfaction is unique, too — imagine Satisfaction without a single refrain of “I can’t get no satisfaction.” I’m sure Dean will hate it.
(There’s Devo’s Satisfaction, too. Fun!)
What makes for a great cover? On one of the YouTube commentaries, someone wrote that a great cover honors the original but adds something to it. By that yardstick, Johnny Cash’s Hurt is a spectacular cover. Is it better than the original? I’m not sure. It’s equally heartfelt, I think — and Cash’s addiction problems give him every bit as much emotional claim to this song as Trent Reznor.
According to YouTube, this was Cash’s last video. Choked me up . . . but y’all know I choke up easy.
D.
Better than the original
I think I need to do a Thursday Thirteen: Thirteen Covers. And here I’ve gone and given you the best one.
D.
Chuck Heston’s Greatest Hits
CNN: Charlton Heston dies at 84.
I grew up with Charlton Heston. This latter day John Wayne epitomizes for me a certain type of actor: the hypermasculine lead with a martyr complex, whose on-screen testosteronity was exceeded only by his off-screen right wing looniness. Chuck was the Man . . . well, until Mel Gibson came along. And when Mel gets too old or too shark-jumped to matter anymore, doubtless some other nut will take his place.
But we were talkin’ Chuck. Chuck wasn’t always a Republican darling, a Choice- and Affirmative Action-hating NRA poster boy; according to Wikipedia, he supported Adlai Stevenson and John F. Kennedy and marched with Martin Luther King. He even “called for public support for President Johnson’s Gun Control Act of 1968.” Why the change of heart? The [two] obituaries [that I bothered to read] don’t say.
Let’s have a moment of silence for a man who left us with some memorable Hollywood moments:
The Omega Man, the Last Man on Earth . . . but of course, if you’ve seen the movie, you know he’s the Alpha as well as the Omega.
THE scene from the end of Planet of the Apes. Still, if you’re gonna be stuck on a post-apocalyptic ape-ridden planet, you could do worse than have actress Linda Harrison at your back.
Touch of Evil. With a mustache and enough Man Tan, you too can be Mexican.
Soylent Green: Heston figures it out an hour after the rest of us.
The Moses we know and love.
Rest in peace, Chuck.
D.
Seeking advice
We would like to work some computer science into my son’s home-school education. Question for those of you who know about this stuff: where should he begin? Would knowledge of any one programming language be particularly useful?
Hard to say what he’s going to be when he grows up, but if I had to guess, it would be some sort of engineer.
graz
D.
Is that all?
Created by OnePlusYou
Let’s shoot for live blogging at 7:30 PM, okay?
And since this ain’t much of a post, have three itty bitty kitties:
three little kittens five days old with big fat tummies, originally uploaded by nuala.orourke.
D.