Thirteen things I miss from my youth

Shaina’s angsty Thirteen made me think about all the things that were great about being young. This is no easy feat, by the way. I could write several Thirteens on what sucked about youth (Shaina, it ends eventually. I guarantee it) but thirteen good things, that’s a different story.

Let’s see how far I get.

1. Morning wood. Sorry, I wrote that one last night.

2. Professional studenthood. My worst grade ever, high school included, was a B+. I’m telling you, I was good at this. And think of all the great things about higher education:

• You get to hang out with smart people, have great conversations and extremely intelligent sex.
• You’re always learning new things about the world.
• No matter how dull or difficult something might be, it will be over in ten weeks or less.
• Midterms and finals = constant positive reinforcement (assuming you’re good at it. Like ME).
• College towns have great coffee shops and restaurants

3. The illusion of immortality. We got that slapped out of us early, thanks to Karen’s health, but for a time . . . for a time it seemed we were indestructible. I liked feeling as though I might live forever. I miss it.

4. Responsibilities. I.e., not much. Remember? You had nothing to worry about but your own future. No sick parents, no kids, no spouse. Just you and your friends, and all you ever had to do with your friends was give them an ear to bend.

And now look at you.

5. Firsts. Everything felt new because it was new. It didn’t take much to be surprised; we were like toddlers unleashed upon the world.

The sad thing about this: some of our classmates only took advantage of one new thing — ready access to drugs and alcohol. But there was so much more to experience . . . such as the colonic distress which only three Polish from Top Dog could produce.

6. Potential. This is what I miss the most: the feeling that I had my whole life ahead of me, that I could be anything, do anything, go anywhere, and the only person who could stop me would be me.

Choices propel us forward, of course, but they also take us out on progressively more slender limbs. By the time I had finished college, cultural anthropology was no longer a career option (especially since the prof told me there were no jobs for cultural anthropologists!) And by the time I finished med school, psychiatry was no longer a realistic choice.

Even now, the idea of doing a one- or two-year fellowship (to super-specialize) is intolerable. I think: yeah, sure, if it were just me. But it’s not just me. I would be putting my wife and son through the time commitment and the loss of wages, too.

Doors open, doors close.

7. Friends. Is it just me, or have other people noticed the same thing? I had the most friends when I was an undergraduate. There was a slight drop-off when I went to grad school, and then a big drop-off when I became a resident. It’s all been downhill since then. If it weren’t for the Internet — you folks — I’d only have my wife and son, and the old friends I see less than once a year.

Which is why, in case I haven’t said this lately, I’m grateful to you all.

8. The ability to have sex multiple times each evening. Sometimes with other people, even.

9. Keeping in touch with the music scene has become more difficult the older I get. The internet helps, but it seems to me that I was far more attuned to the avant garde in my 20s than I am now.

Maybe it’s the fact that I STILL don’t like punk or hip-hop . . .

Okay, now it’s getting tough. Told you it would be difficult to come up with thirteen great things about youth. How about,

10. Physical prowess. Only this isn’t exactly true. As I wrote here, I’m in better shape now than I was in my twenties. And I wrote that post in 2006. I’ve been working out ever since then, so now I’m in even better shape.

Nevertheless, I recall feeling that I was young and strong and able to do whatever I set out to do (physically), provided it didn’t involve team sports. Nowadays, my body fights me with every workout.

11. Poverty. Hey, don’t knock it. It’s kind of nice being able to move all your possessions using the smallest U-Haul — and the only reason you need that is the fact your mattress and desk won’t fit into your trunk. Sell those, ship your books, and you could move across country in a VW Bug.

Nowadays, I’m saddled with a ton of junk. Anyone want the carved front door we inherited with our house, the one that’s so ugly, replacing it was one of our first remodeling priorities?

12. Student loans. Free money from the government! Did I mention it was free? Because, jeez, we couldn’t be bothered to think about our 30-year-old selves paying off that money. That was like old.

Just paid off all my loans in 2005, I think. Aaaaah.

And how could I forget,

13. Young love. Of course it’s painful and maddening and ridiculous. But have you ever felt so truly alive?

So: what do you miss the most? Tell me in the comments, and I’ll give you the lurve. Which is a poor substitute for youth, but it’s all I have to give.

thursday thirteen

dan has puppies! Well, a puppy. But where there’s one, others are sure to follow.

Tracy’s eyes are bleeding. Either that, or Marilyn Manson just visited her blog.

Tam, at least one of your problems could be solved with a bulldozer

microsoar, please consider a minor edit on your post today:

The main event is the 30 min lap dance. To win required a combination of raw speed/strength and a willingness to lean into the corners… hard.

What do you think?

Shaina’s tired. Get some sleep, girl!

four word cure for Pat: hair of the dog

D.