Balls and Walnuts
more than you ever wanted to know
Category Archives: Political rants
Don’t speak too soon
Before I get started: L’shanah tovah! That’s Happy New Year for you goyim. Today is Rosh Hashanah, which I’m Jewish enough to know about but not Jewish enough to celebrate. Unless watching Hebrew Crunk on YouTube counts as observation of this High Holy Day.
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Can’t remember whose blog I commented on . . . but the issue of the hour was, how do you find the time to write? How do you manage to finish what you start?
Stubbornness, I replied.
Usually, after doing the day’s chores, I sit down and write. But today I feel meh. I’ve done two loads of laundry, washed the car, cleaned a mess in the garage, cleaned the kitchen, and organized the computer corner of our bedroom (doesn’t sound like it, but that was the most time-consuming task of all). And now I have to whip myself into writing mode.
Meh, meh, meh. Meh at every level of my life. Not entirely unrelated: I’ve added a new category to my blogroll, Escape Hatch, with a link to the blog We Move to Canada. No matter what I do in my local party, no matter how many petitions I sign, I can’t get away from a sense of responsibility for the atrocities our government has committed and has continued to commit in our names. If the Democrats fumble the ball in the next two elections, or if the Republicans steal the elections, I’m outa here.
Sorry to be such a downer. One of the reasons I don’t write as many political posts anymore is my depression with respect to the State of this Union. Karen feels the same way, and in fact, stopped watching The Daily Show and Colbert Report because they only made her more depressed.
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More live-blogging tonight? I’ll try to be on by 8 PM PST, earlier if possible. And I’ll try to shake this funk by then.
D.
Badge of honor
From Blue Gal and Cap’n Dyke,
You are a terrorist-loving, Bush-bashing, “blame America first”-crowd traitor. You are in league with evil-doers who hate our freedoms. By all counts you are a liberal, and as such cleary desire the terrorists to succeed and impose their harsh theocratic restrictions on us all. You are fit to be hung for treason! Luckily George Bush is tapping your internet connection and is now aware of your thought-crime. Have a nice day…. in Guantanamo!
For fun, try answering everything the way you would imagine George Bush would answer the questions. You’ll get the following message:
Congratulations, Patriot! Wave your flag proudly, stand tall, and bask in the glory of George Bush’s America. The terrorists will never win so long as there is a sufficient number of people like you out there. Never question, never doubt. You are on the right side. America’s side. God’s side. Rush Limbaugh has told you so. Rah rah, go Bush!!
Someone’s tongue is firmly in his cheek.
D.
Post 9/11 America: it’s an Oddworld
A lone terrorist upsets the hegemonic powers that be. Explosions, destruction of government-run factories, assassinations abound.
Who is this terrorist — Osama bin Laden? Hardly. Meet Abe, a Mudokon. One race’s terrorist is another race’s messiah.
In the second Oddworld PC game, Abe’s Exoddus, Abe led 200 fellow Mudokons to freedom, meanwhile blowing up the factories and military facilities of the evil Glukkons. Abe does this by virtue of plucky determination, cleverness (thanks to you, the gamer who controls his every move), and “scary powers” — like the ability to possess and blow up his own farts.
Meet a Glukkon.
In Abe’s Exoddus, head Glukkons Phleg, Dripik, and Aslik meet periodically to discuss their problems with the terrorist Abe. One of them, Dripik I think, says to the other two, “Where you see disaster, I see opportunity.” That’s a Glukkon for you — always looking for the profit margin.
I often wonder if our government’s Glukkons had a similar meeting on 9/12/01. Did Dick Cheney tell George Bush, “Where you see disaster, I see opportunity”? Every one of our Glukkons seems to have seized on this moment of opportunity: Cheney to grab wealth (via Halliburton), Bush and Rove to seize power, Rumsfeld to launch his own private game of Army Men.
The analogy breaks down after that. Abe’s a hero, a messiah to his people, but the 9/11 terrorists (despite their own self-perceptions) were murderers, plain and simple. In the fictional Oddworld, good and evil are clearly defined. But in our own Oddworld, the distinctions of good and evil are blurred beyond all hope of clear perception. The Abes of our world may be murderers, but how should we view our own leaders, who through their vanity and ineptitude have caused the death or injury of thousands of individuals, American and otherwise?
I’m afraid we live in a world full of Glukkons. The rest of us are Mudokons, but, unlike Abe, our powers are limited.
D.
9/11/01: It didn’t have to change anything
On the morning of 9/11/01, a patient told me what had happened in New York City. I didn’t immediately believe him. Patients, especially the older ones, tell me lots of strange things. Not all of them are true, and this one in particular sounded unbelievable.
Between patients, I called Karen, and she confirmed the story. I didn’t see the footage until that evening. It still seemed unbelievable even after I watched the news. I felt like one of those cranks who refuses to believe in the Apollo moon landings. Surely this hadn’t happened.
At some level I began accepting the idea but I still kept it at a distance. I thought of it as I would a speculative fiction plot bunny. “Suppose it’s real. Suppose terrorists really did crash those planes,” and so forth. And I swear to you this is true: I wasn’t worried about what the terrorists would do next — I worried what George Bush would do next.
When it comes to politics, I’m not always right, but this time I was dead-on accurate.
The following thought is neither original nor particularly well-stated: the greatest damage to our country on 9/11/01 was that which was perpetrated upon us by our leaders. I saw it coming. I dreaded it. I knew the world had changed, knew it would take a strong and wise leader to weather the change, rise above it, and prevail; knew George Bush wasn’t that man.
I was wrong about some things. Frankly, I thought we would lose our civil liberties in a matter of weeks rather than months, and I didn’t expect the tide of public opinion to turn within the decade. Call me a pessimist.
9/11 didn’t have to change anything — not like this, at any rate. We could have learned from it. We could have led the world. We didn’t have to fuck everything up.
D.
Taking one for the team
This is the funniest political protest song I’ve heard in the last godawful six years. Big tip of my hat to Blue Gal. I also understand from Blue Gal’s post today that tomorrow is Blog Katrina Day. Hope I can think of something worthwhile to say.
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Meanwhile, back at Chez Walnut, I made some o’ this today:
CRÈME SAINT-HONORÉ OR CRÈME CHIBOUST
Crème Saint-Honoré is a crème pâtissière lightened with stiffly beaten egg whites or whipped cream. A.k.a. Chiboust cream — crème Chiboust — this mixture can be flavoured with vanilla, chocolate, praline, liqueur, grated orange zest etc.
It’s pretty effing amazing how much of this stuff you end up with if you start with five measly eggs. Five eggs . . . that’s like a two-person omelet, for the love of everything unhealthy. I’m going to use it to make a trifle, along with some pound cake, raspberries, and fruit preserves. Nonalcoholic trifle so the boy will eat it, too.
I also made some yummy chopped chicken liver. Although I mentioned this aaaages ago, I never gave a proper recipe. Anyone interested?
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Decent writing weekend, by the way — about 7000 words thus far. I’d like to get one last 1000-word scene written, but I’m getting a bit pooped.
I’m at 80K words on this NiP and I suspect I need another 10 or 15K words to wrap things up nicely. A little long for a first novel, but I should be able to edit out some of the drier medical passages.
Still not happy with titles. I like Sloppy Firsts, but that’s been done. Technical Virgins hasn’t been nabbed yet for fiction, as best I can tell, but it doesn’t have the same sense of fun as Sloppy Firsts. And it’s important to convey the fun.
Off to check mail . . .
D.
Lamont wins! Lieberman refuses to lose graciously.
Tonight, Ned Lamont bested Stephen Colbert’s favorite Republican, Connecticut Democratic Senator Joe Lieberman. Sadly, Lieberman refuses to listen to the will of the voters and has announced he will run as an Independent.
We here in the Balls et Walnuts household delight in doing our Snoopy dance (yes, we contributed to Lamont’s campaign), but the battle has only just begun. Lieberman’s going down like a crack whore turning tricks for smokes — reluctantly and desperately. Kos has the attack plan:
Here’s what we all need to do the next few days:
1. Push Harry Reid to strip Lieberman of all committee assignments.
2. Let people know what a sore loser Lieberman is.
3. Get all Democrats — including Bill Clinton — to publicly back Ned Lamont.
4. Get the Democratic interest groups who backed Lieberman to switch allegiances in the general.
For starters, send Joe Lieberman a note telling him to respect the will of Connecticut’s Democratic voters. Keep your eyes on Daily Kos for the latest updates.
Edited to add:
Kos on Countdown. Crooks and Liars has video.
Edited to add:
Ah, Markos. You choked me up this morning with this post:
What tonight showed is that democracy can work. That even the most powerful, entrenched forces can be dislodged by people-power. That the combined mights of the Democratic and Conservative establishments couldn’t hold the gates against the barbarian intruders.
Amen.
D.
Front line in the War on Sex
We all know Republicans hate sex*, particularly if they suspect everyone else but them is having it. Well, a crafty bunch of liberals has devised a way of using this weakness — call it an Achilles’ Scrotum — against them:
A new website tells sexy liberals how they can help beat Bush by promising to fuck a conservative in exchange for his or her guarantee not to support Bush.
Fuck the Vote is part satire and part activism, taking cues from both MTV’s Rock the Vote campaign and from the porn industry; the website shows pictures of the growing number of liberal male and female models ready to knock boots to knock out Bush.
It chokes me up, thinking of all those brave young men and women willing to take one from a Republican in exchange for a single vote. Now that’s selfless sacrifice.
In other news: Mel Gibson preempts the tabloids by posting a photo from his recent bust for driving under the influence. Yes, Mel, your arrest facilitates the International Jewish Conspiracy‘s plan for world domination. We’re still pissed over The Passion.
D.
*There must be a name for the rhetorical trick of assuming a fact without providing any proof. On the other hand, there’s a Latin legal phrase for situations in which the facts are so plainly obvious no one would dare disagree: res ipsa loquitur, the thing speaks for itself.
The traitor always bites it in the end
I’m sure you’ve heard: Special Counsel Patrick Fitzgerald won’t be seeking an indictment against Karl Rove. I can hear (insert name of your favorite superhero) now:
“You win this time, Turdblossom, but we shall meet again!”
In the movies, the hideousness of the evildoer’s fate is often proportionate to his infamy. Perhaps we can find solace in this fact. Surely Rove is more wicked than any of the dudes listed below. If so, perhaps his comeuppance will be that much tastier.
Memorial Day & more
The General says it better than I can. He let his Inner Frenchman write today’s Memorial Day post. Snippet:
I watched the documentary, Control Room, again last night. One of the scenes featured an Al Jazeera reporter, Hassan Ibrahim, discussing the run-up to the war with a number of Iraqi intellectuals. He told them that he did not believe that the American people would allow the war to happen. He said that we were a rational people and a people who revered justice above all else. I once thought that too. With all of our faults, I believed that we were a people who truly believed in reason, justice, and the principles of democracy, and maybe we did, but it is no longer true.
We became vengeful and bloodthirsty, striking out against the innocent and the weak to ease our groundless fears. We are now Fox News. We are a nation of Malkins, Hewitts, and Charles Johnsons, frightened of everything that is different or alien to us and reacting violently.
My America is dead. Or perhaps more accurately, The America I believed in, and the people Ibrahim thought he knew, never existed. As saddened as I am at this realization, I now understand that I must fight even harder to ensure that we do not lose our way again.
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Elsewhere in the ‘osphere . . .
I’m not quite sure what to make of Huffington Post‘s prominently featured link to a Yahoo News story on William Shatner. The headline reads: “Shatner: ‘Therapeutic [Horseback] Riding’ Can Help Middle East Peace . . .” Seems sarcastic, mocking. Look at what our silly celebs are doing now. But if you read the story, what Shatner is doing isn’t all that unreasonable:
Shatner said that placing injured people on horseback has been shown to improve their conditions. “We know that the use of a horse in their therapy takes them beyond their handicapped body, their injured body, and into another area of health,” he said.
Shatner has long been involved with “Ahead for Horses,” a Los Angeles charity that works with physically and mentally disabled children through horseback riding.
He hopes his new fund, launched with the nonprofit Jewish National Fund, will contribute to Mideast peace. He stressed that every citizen of Israel, as well as Palestinians, Jordanians and Egyptians, will be encouraged to participate.
Does anyone see anything wrong with that? Any reason for mockery? I don’t.
I promised my muse I’d write today . . . about anything she wants. I had better make good on the promise.
D.