Balls and Walnuts
more than you ever wanted to know
Duggar Mania
Contest! Enter now, win condoms and sex lube!
In case you missed Kate’s link the other day:
Those of you not familiar with the Duggar Phenomenon, AKA Mass Production Wombology, AKA the “Full Quiver” movement, may want to start here and then follow the links.
I thought long and hard about a better caption. Truthfully, “Vagina, It’s not a clown car” sets the bar very high (image pinched from Watertiger, the Dependable Renegade). “Free Jinger” came to mind, but that’s kind of an in-joke among us Duggarphiles. “She Who Must Conceive” — well, that only applies to Michelle and neglects all those Duggarlets.
Then I thought, hey, why should I do all the work? It’s been a looong time since we’ve had a contest, right?
So here’s the deal. Offer me an alternative caption. If it makes me laugh, I’ll put your name into a drawing. Winner gets a package of condoms and a bottle of Astroglide, woo-hoo! Or a $25 gift certificate to Barnes and Noble, your choice.
I’ll close the contest and announce a winner on Tuesday. Have fun!
D.
PS: I count only 14 kids, but she’s had 16. Time to update that photo.
Don’t Drink the water…nah…not good enough…
mommy Make It stop….( hmm too rude)….
We named IT abstinence… ( hmmslightly more rude)….
Look Billy Joe- there are Blue Skittles in Daddy’s Bedside Drawer….
I like the Vagina title I guess…..I suck at this…do I get a prize for trying?
okay in case someone doesn’t know Viagra are blue- same size and shape as skittles…there you go…
My first thought was along the lines of…
Often she wishes that, when they were born,
She had named one of them Bodkin Van Horn.
But I’ll try to come up with something a bit more offensive later today.
Enigma, there’s no such thing as too rude.
That said, I like Stephen’s rhyme the best so far. Don’t worry about coming up with anything more offensive. I have to tell you, though, they insist on naming all their kids with J names. You’ll have to make it Jodkin 😉
Okay…how about: WANT TO KNOW HOW TO NEVER HAVE A PERIOD WITHOUT GETTING A HYSTERECTOMY?
I tried.
Good one, Sis!
How ’bout “Every sperm is sacred”?
My vote goes to Stephen, too, although I pity the kid who gets stuck with Oliver Boliver Butt.
On a similar note, how about:
To Maximize the Potential of Every Sperm
?
nah, too wordy.
“Making every sperm count”?
Wow, Doug. Just saw the image and, well, now I can say “LOL” and mean it. I sincerely doubt I can top that.
Nice work, Kate, or whoever made that in the first place.
Watertiger attributed it to Pandagon. I checked the Pandagon site, though, and couldn’t find it.
Yeah, I LOL’ed too 😉
[…] So today, Doug posts about the Duggers, and credits Watertiger, the Dependable Renegade. The little wheels start spinning (the ones in my mind, not the one in the gerbils’ cage), and I check. Yes, NTodd’s watertiger and Doug’s are one and the same. […]
Fertile Myrtle hatches her own ball team. “See, I told you I could do it,” she hissed to Dan, her Manly Man, right before her uterus fell out on the kitchen floor.
How to make your uterus fall out without really trying . . . birth control, that is.
Eh, I have no imagination. I like Kate’s original slogan best.
How about, “Get that for me, would you?”
(Monty Python reference, for those who don’t know.)
The Rhythm Method In Action
Jim. Put that thing Away.
Hmmm. Lil number 8 looks kinda like the UPS guy.
Tchah. *Now* you get interested in exploring anal sex.
Hmm. These are getting better and better.
But I’m going to have to pick a winner soon . . .
Later.
[…] In extremis: the case of Anna Pou, M.D. By Walnut Let me extend a BIG Balls and Walnuts welcome to Crooks and Liars readers. Yes, you get the BIG Balls (and Walnuts) howdy-do. Come for the political commentary, stay for the Duggary goodness. […]
Where’s Waldo?
How about:
“I got my Prozac mised up with my Birth Control Pills. I have 17 children…. but I don’t give a shit.”
How about these:
Jim Bob — dug her!
(Thought bubble above Michelle’s head) — So, I finally get it — this is what happens with unprotected sex.
Shoulda been Catholic!