Balls and Walnuts
more than you ever wanted to know
Front line in the War on Sex
We all know Republicans hate sex*, particularly if they suspect everyone else but them is having it. Well, a crafty bunch of liberals has devised a way of using this weakness — call it an Achilles’ Scrotum — against them:
A new website tells sexy liberals how they can help beat Bush by promising to fuck a conservative in exchange for his or her guarantee not to support Bush.
Fuck the Vote is part satire and part activism, taking cues from both MTV’s Rock the Vote campaign and from the porn industry; the website shows pictures of the growing number of liberal male and female models ready to knock boots to knock out Bush.
It chokes me up, thinking of all those brave young men and women willing to take one from a Republican in exchange for a single vote. Now that’s selfless sacrifice.
In other news: Mel Gibson preempts the tabloids by posting a photo from his recent bust for driving under the influence. Yes, Mel, your arrest facilitates the International Jewish Conspiracy‘s plan for world domination. We’re still pissed over The Passion.
D.
*There must be a name for the rhetorical trick of assuming a fact without providing any proof. On the other hand, there’s a Latin legal phrase for situations in which the facts are so plainly obvious no one would dare disagree: res ipsa loquitur, the thing speaks for itself.
Can we call the Republicans from our past to enact this retroactively?
(and thanks, Doug!)
I think I’d call it an assertion. In an argument, if you assume the truth of your conclusion without proving it, the phrase that comes to mind is ‘begging the question.’
aww that’s not new. It was up before the election and Bush STILL won. Bah.
Egads, you’re right, Kate. I am a purveyor of old news.
SO . . . they stole our sperm, and then they stole the election. The bastards!
So the phrase used to be “lay back and think of England” and now it’s “lay back and think of Uncle Sam“.
Now that “I Want You” bit all makes sense…
Wow. I have heard of “Taking One for the Team” but “Taking one for the Free World” is something else entirely. Makes me feel like a heel for keeping my knees together. A new breed of American Hero has been born!
You know, I might just slip into the US and pose as a Republican. Repeatedly.
Finally, a way to give something back.
Mel Gibson is neck in neck with Tom Cruise for weirdo jerk actor of the year award.