Another world

I’m recovering quickly, thanks. Been back at work for the last two days, and while that’s going well, I tend to be pretty exhausted by the end of the day. Fatigue saps creativity, of course, so tonight I was having trouble coming up with a blog topic.

I considered writing about unusual wikis, but aside from a really lame sex wiki, I couldn’t seem to find anything too weird. Then, SOMEHOW, I mean I don’t know HOW I always end up on this page, I ended up perusing Wikipedia’s list of fetishes and discovered two Japanese fetishes I hadn’t heard of before: zentai (skin-tight body suits) and omorashi (full bladder eroticism). That led me to an exploration of gyaru, which is, I gather, a collective noun describing various style-cliques common at one time or another among young women in Japan.

The young woman in the picture exemplifies ganguro. Ganguro girls are heavily tanned, use lots of “contouring make-up,” and lurve the color pink. Other gyaru styles include baika (biker chicks), yamanba (“the early form of Manba, characterized by over the top make-up and stickers of popular Disney characters or cartoons as well as jewels or stick-on earrings. The clothing style is heavy “I just got back from Hawaii” complete with lei’s on wrists, necks, ankles and even in hair. Thick Ganguro style “panda” make-up, and usually orange, hot pink, teal blue, blue or bleached white hair”), and my favorite, himegyaru:

Meaning Princess GAL it is a style characterized by pink make-up and long eyelashes as well as either tan or very light skin. Huge hair in a bouffant/beehive is practically the uniform. Himegyaru wear Liz Lisa typically because the brand sums up the style. Lots of fur and rich materials as well as lace and velvet are common. High heels are always a must, as well as a good structured handbag preferably white, black, or pink. Animal prints as well as rhinestones, roses, orchids, and other flowers. Pearl and cameo inlays and beadwork on nails is a big trend. Hair is teased up on top and curled tightly in spirals on the bottom. Hair color is always caramel, black, or dark brown. Rarely is hair dyed white and never unnatural colors.

They look like anime chicks, don’t they? Except humans don’t have those huge anime eyes.

Or do they? Meet Ukrainian model Masha Tielne.

I wish I had something profound to say about the wondrous variety of human cultures and the many notions of beauty, some of which seem transcendent, others, impossible for anyone outside the group to understand. But I’m tired. I ain’t got nothin’.

D.

The damages

This looks a lot worse than it feels.

I’m doing great today. I haven’t needed any pain meds, and it doesn’t even hurt to cough. Much. I should be fine for work tomorrow.

In addition to the hernia, I had my surgeon remove this:

See that pale, square area? This thing looks like I tried to remove a Charlie Manson tattoo using a spork. Don’t know if it’ll look any better after it heals, but for now, it looks like hell:

Me? Vain? Naaaah.

I’m gonna bail on live-blogging this weekend. You don’t need to see me yawn.

D.

For the geek who has everything

From ThinkGeek, the WiFi detecto shirt:

Here at ThinkGeek we’re pretty lazy when it comes to technology. We expect our gadgets to do all the busywork while we focus on the high level important tasks like reading blogs. That’s why we hate to have to crack open our laptops just to see if there is any wi-fi internet access about… and keychain wi-fi detectors, we would have to actually remove them from our pockets to look at them. But now thanks to the ingenious ThinkGeek robot monkeys you can display the current wi-fi signal strength to yourself and everyone around you with this stylish Wi-Fi Detector Shirt. The glowing bars on the front of the shirt dynamically change as the surrounding wi-fi signal strength fluctuates. Finally you can get the attention you deserve as others bow to you as their reverential wi-fi god, while geeky chicks swoon at your presence. You can thank us later.

Hey, I got a geeky chick to marry me, and I didn’t need no dumb shirt. But thanks for thinking about me just the same.

D.

Oh, please

JustSayHi – Free Personals

Not even an R rating? Are they kidding?

Then again, my 12-year-old reads my blog . . .

Hat tip to Joolz, whose blog has a great URL.

D.

PS: Cool frog blog.

Cool bird dancing to crappy music. (Thanks, sxKitten!)

Stephen Colbert is cool, too. (Thanks, Kate!) Really cool.

Back ache

Back ache #2, originally uploaded by amitaibu.

Eh, nothing major, but I’d rather be lying down than sitting at the computer right now.

Oooh, this should be fun. Karen’s trying to explain “rug muncher” to The Boy.

Tomorrow: Thirteen Microorganisms. See ya then.

D.

Drop me in that alternate universe where I get laid every night.

On my birthday, O’Brien said,

I always get mad when I have a dream that is sexual in nature, but features my husband instead of, say, that one guy who worked at the car place and whose nametag said James. Shouldn’t a person be allowed to screw James in a dream without a lot of brouhaha?

Yeah, I have the same problem. I’ve never run the stats, but I would guess 3/4 sex dreams feature Karen. Happy, Karen? The other 1/4 usually feature strangers. I can’t remember the last time my dream self got to nail some woman I know.

Since I’m a very principled sort of guy, in these 1/4 dreams, my subconscious edits out my whole marriage. I might as well be a hero in a romance novel (only I’m never as alpha as a romance hero). (Which reminds me. BETA READERS: I’m not going to turn Brad into an alpha, but I’m wondering if I should make it a running joke, how NOT an alpha he is, and how his friends keep telling him to be more alpha, and how thoroughly it backfires when he tries to be an alpha . . . damn, that’s almost a whole story right there!)

Can you tell I got nothing tonight? Fatigue. Got lots of that.

Here’s that alternate universe linky.

And more people need to give me presents like this. Female people. Dean, Pat, microsoar, protected static: I do NOT want to see your racks. I’m sure they’re very nice man-racks, but I don’t want to see ’em, okay?

Maybe I’ll make more sense tomorrow.

D.

I’m not sure I want to live in a world without Prairie Muffins.

Look what happened to PrairieMuffins.com.

At first I thought these Dominionist anti-feminists had gone all commercial. See, I wanted to find a link to their clothing retailers (Fugliest. Dresses. And. Swimwear. ANYWHERE.) and what do I see? Links to Frederick’s of Hollywood and Victoria’s Secret. I call this poetic justice.

Fortunately, the Prairie Muffin Manifesto is still online. My favorite commandments?

9) Prairie Muffins do not reflect badly on their husbands by neglecting their appearance; they work with the clay God has given, molding it into an attractive package for the pleasure of their husbands.

All women should aspire to be attractive packages. And,

18) Prairie Muffins are fiercely submissive to God and to their husbands.

How does one submit fiercely? Is fierce submission something like timid domination? This confuses me. I am such a Pharisee.

TODAY’S TOP SEARCH TERMS: Heather Graham, cleansing colon, Lopez butt photo, and spank your balls for me.

By the way: no Prairie Muffin, not even the consummate Prairie Muffin Michelle Duggar, would be cruel enough to make ferret loaf.

Live blogging tonight, starting some time around 7 or 8ish. Can you tell I got nothing?

D.

You know you’re old when . . .

. . . the supermarket plays a muzacked version of the stuff you liked in college. I thought it was bad the first time I heard Yes’s “Roundabout,” the Muzack Edition. But The Clash, “Rock the Casbah”? So depressing.

When I hear a muzacked version of Nine Inch Nails’ “Closer,” I hope someone will put me out of my misery. And quickly.

More. Later. Gotta work on the Thirteen.

D.