Balls and Walnuts
more than you ever wanted to know
Drop me in that alternate universe where I get laid every night.
On my birthday, O’Brien said,
I always get mad when I have a dream that is sexual in nature, but features my husband instead of, say, that one guy who worked at the car place and whose nametag said James. Shouldn’t a person be allowed to screw James in a dream without a lot of brouhaha?
Yeah, I have the same problem. I’ve never run the stats, but I would guess 3/4 sex dreams feature Karen. Happy, Karen? The other 1/4 usually feature strangers. I can’t remember the last time my dream self got to nail some woman I know.
Since I’m a very principled sort of guy, in these 1/4 dreams, my subconscious edits out my whole marriage. I might as well be a hero in a romance novel (only I’m never as alpha as a romance hero). (Which reminds me. BETA READERS: I’m not going to turn Brad into an alpha, but I’m wondering if I should make it a running joke, how NOT an alpha he is, and how his friends keep telling him to be more alpha, and how thoroughly it backfires when he tries to be an alpha . . . damn, that’s almost a whole story right there!)
Can you tell I got nothing tonight? Fatigue. Got lots of that.
Here’s that alternate universe linky.
And more people need to give me presents like this. Female people. Dean, Pat, microsoar, protected static: I do NOT want to see your racks. I’m sure they’re very nice man-racks, but I don’t want to see ’em, okay?
Maybe I’ll make more sense tomorrow.
D.
I can see Brad being talked into ditching the Camry and going for a motorbike. Yeah, the full leathers, flames on his helmet and then…how well would Brad drive a motorbike(“Right. Kickstand up, mirrors, turn and indicate, mirrors, blindspot…oh no I forgot to turn it on, pull back. Now. Start engine, check mirrors…This does have an airbag right?)? What would Becky think of the bike? Would Lori want to sexwax the bike? Really, Berkowitz on a Bike = Bestseller. Unless, like Brad, he’d go for the safest bike in the world…A motortrike?
btw, my boobs are old hat now, so many pics in my archives, no one cares anymore.
When did “rack” become popular slang? Along with “buns” and “package”….
btw.. My man-rack is made from radiata pine and holds a bunch of trays full of what I term “useful stuff I might use one day”, but Ms Canada refers to as Johns’ junk.
I do NOT want to see your racks.Oh, you’re no fun anymore.
Bollocks. Your theme ate my quote tags… How about:
Lyvvie: maybe in the sequel, eh? Or as an episode once Showtime picks it up as a sitcom. “Scrubs Meets Red Shoe Diaries” — hot damn!
Microsoar: Rack is recent, I suspect, perhaps the last ten years? Yours sounds dull. Keep it to yourself 🙂
ps: I said they were probably perfectly fine racks, didn’t I? What do you want, an award for Best Man-titty?
LOL! Hey, Doug, I never expected my rack to get linky love! But hey, I’m shameless; WTF!
Oh! And as for sex dreams… Mine are usually about my GirlyBoi, or my late hubby (he was a sexy beast) Fubby, when he was alive I dreamt more often about her, and now I dream more often about him. The ones that get me are the super hot dreams about someone I know about whom I HAVE NEVER FELT THAT WAY AT ALL!!! Someone who I don’t consider the least bit attractive (to me). Then after the dream I am aware of them on a whole different level. LOL
I LOVE sex dreams. I’ve had sex dreams with some of my favorite actors and those are quite exciting (Antonio Banderas was HOT!). Like you, I have no recollection of my husband or being married when these dreams occur. The dreams that freak me out are when I dream of a co-worker or someone close to me. Kind of creepy.
[…] Back from his trip to Hong Kong and China, Terence Chang has sexy on his mind. Joanne of The Laidback Buddhist, a.k.a. the Super High Resolution Buddhist, has, ahem, sex on her mind. And, it’s never too far away in Doug’s mind. […]
You don’t know what you’re missin’, Doug. But okay, I’ll keep it under wraps. For the sake of the children.
According to the Online Etymology Dictionary, “rack” in the sense of “boobs” comes from the 1980s or so.
Pat, you’re a gentleman and a scholar. A boob scholar, but still.
Hello.
Since you people already know way too much about me as it is, I go ahead and embarrass myself further.
Erin, you missed one. “Can I please put my face between them and go Blububububububububub!?”
See? Extra points for saying please.
That was quite the comment thread on that post, O’Brien. It brought out some real dawgs.