Balls and Walnuts
more than you ever wanted to know
I’m not sure I want to live in a world without Prairie Muffins.
Look what happened to PrairieMuffins.com.
At first I thought these Dominionist anti-feminists had gone all commercial. See, I wanted to find a link to their clothing retailers (Fugliest. Dresses. And. Swimwear. ANYWHERE.) and what do I see? Links to Frederick’s of Hollywood and Victoria’s Secret. I call this poetic justice.
Fortunately, the Prairie Muffin Manifesto is still online. My favorite commandments?
9) Prairie Muffins do not reflect badly on their husbands by neglecting their appearance; they work with the clay God has given, molding it into an attractive package for the pleasure of their husbands.
All women should aspire to be attractive packages. And,
18) Prairie Muffins are fiercely submissive to God and to their husbands.
How does one submit fiercely? Is fierce submission something like timid domination? This confuses me. I am such a Pharisee.
TODAY’S TOP SEARCH TERMS: Heather Graham, cleansing colon, Lopez butt photo, and spank your balls for me.
By the way: no Prairie Muffin, not even the consummate Prairie Muffin Michelle Duggar, would be cruel enough to make ferret loaf.
Live blogging tonight, starting some time around 7 or 8ish. Can you tell I got nothing?
D.
