Balls and Walnuts
more than you ever wanted to know
Back ache
Back ache #2, originally uploaded by amitaibu.
Eh, nothing major, but I’d rather be lying down than sitting at the computer right now.
Oooh, this should be fun. Karen’s trying to explain “rug muncher” to The Boy.
Tomorrow: Thirteen Microorganisms. See ya then.
D.
← Rats
A rug muncher is a severely malfunctioning vacuum cleaner.
That’s it man. No other definition is possible.
Uh, how did “rug muncher” come up in conversation?
Or maybe I don’t want to know.
It’s true. You don’t want to know.
I do!
Okay, okay . . . let’s just say it had to do with Lynne Cheney being on Jon Stewart last night. Karen was trying to remember their daughter’s name. Guess the rest.
That picture bugs me. I think it’s a combination of very weird things. why cover the window? Why is there marble inlay on the wooden headboard? Is that a pile of lacy underpants? Why are there sphincter flowers on the bedspread? Why is the masseuse not wearing any trousers? What’s with the ceramic vomit on the wall? Is that an open jar of baby-food on the bed? Have enough lube and oil? And…who’s taking this picture and why???
It’s too much for me.
Why cover the window? Because they are obviously college students who cannot afford drapes.
Why is there marble inlay on the wooden headboard? It’s obviously a roll-out marble slab for making streusel.
Is that a pile of lacy underpants? No, it’s a pile of oversized condoms.
Why are there sphincter flowers on the bedspread? Give ’em a break. They’re med students, and one night they were cramming for anatomy. When they ran out of pens, pencils, and paper, they resorted to bedsheets and magic markers.
Why is the masseuse not wearing any trousers? um, hopefully because some truly hot sex will follow the massage?
Okay, after that last one, I got nothin’ . . .
So how’d the explanation go?
No problem. He shows surprisingly little interest in the mechanics of sex. “Surprisingly” because at that age, even before puberty, I couldn’t think of much else.