Balls and Walnuts
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What do women want?
So I figured I’d better write a Smart Bitches Day post or Miss Beth will forget all about me. So here goes.
What do women want?
Ruminations apropos of Outlander
How many of y’all have recommended Outlander to me? And how many have told me how very very much they loooooove Jamie? I’ve lost track. And while I am not in the dating game, I’m still not so dead between the legs as to not obsess over What Women Want.
Trouble is, I’m clueless. I still don’t understand what you gals see in Hugh Jackman, and despite the Paul Newman fans who responded to this old post, in my own informal polling, Robert Redford still has Newman beat 2:1, much to my consternation. What is it about Redford? He’s so . . . so . . . so corrugated.
Growing up, I soon figured out that women wanted guys who were taller, meaner, scummier, taller, and taller than me. In that order. I kept wondering, Why do women fall for scum? but I should have been asking, Why am I attracted to women who fall for scum?
But then I graduated Elementary School and everything changed.
Back to Outlander. (Can you tell this is not going to be one of my more coherent SBDs?) Um . . .
SPOILERS
Which is kind of a ridiculous warning considering how many of you have committed this book to memory. NO, I am not going to trash your precious Outlander. I’m enjoying it. Really, I am. Even if I can’t tell when the characters are having sex because Gabaldon likes to play coy about such things, damn her.
Suck his cock already, wench — oh, whoops. You just did. And now he’s going down on you, or maybe you’re giving each other back rubs because DAMN IT I CAN’T TELL!
I think it’s a guy thing. I don’t do well with understated sex scenes.
So why do women love Jamie so much? Is it the kilt with the badger skin sporran? Of course not. I’m not dense, I know what it is.
He’s gallant. He takes punishment intended for that teenage girl and he has no expectation of reward. He got the skin whipped off his back and he didn’t even whimper about it. And he’s willing to give his life for Claire.
And then there are the physical characteristics. He’s a big motherfucker — I think Claire comes up to his bellybutton — not an effete, hairless, slender dude like her husband-from-the-future (present?), who slips from the reader’s (and Claire’s) memory as soon as she plummets back in time. In contrast, Jamie is a Manly Manâ„¢.
He’s a virgin, too, so Claire doesn’t have to worry about that narsty-assed 17th century syphilis. And he’s kind and considerate, an all-around sweetie.
Okay, that’s what women want in their fictional men; but what about real life? I’m curious about your bare minimum requirements. If the gallantry were there, how much slack would you cut a man with regard to physique? And if he were built like Jamie, how much slack would you cut him for a lack of gallantry?
You know, I’ve changed my mind. Forget gallantry and Manly Manlinessâ„¢. I think it is the kilt.
D.
As far as Jaime is concerned, it’s the fierce devotion to his wife, his undeterred honesty (even if he’s sneaky about not committing a sin of lying), and the fact he’s a big guy (I admit I like tall, big men because I’m a tall big girl and like to have someone who makes me feel small and feminine. I, however, married someone who is also 5’8″ and quite thin. I regularly beat him at wrestling …but I think he lets me. The perv.) with a sweet innocence that mean ole Gabaldon takes away from him.
Regarding the kilt. He would’ve worn one more like this with a thick wool sock to keep a Sgian Dubh (pronounced like ski-n-doo). Now this is a more rustic, let’s go roll in the woods my Highland Lord wey-hey, kind of get up. (and follow the link on how to wrap a kilt and see Gandalph the White demonstrate for you.)
I ditto what Lyvvie said. It’s the undying devotion and willingness to go to the ends of the Earth for Claire that does it for me.
*sigh*
Oh, and the hex-hubby actually wore a great-kilt for the wedding. Complete with Plaid and all. I even had a kewl shirt made for him out of the same cream-coloured raw silk my dress was made from.
But I digress. At least the pictures looked nice.
i pretty much agree with you and lyvvie about jamie. he’s just so PERFECT, but at the same time just not perfect enough to make him interesting.
our talking about it in the chat the other night made me want to read it again. i read 180 pages last night 🙂 so glad i brought it to school with me!
I can’t claim to speak for all my sisters, but here’s what I want (and why I fell for Dean):
1. Smart
2. Funny
3. Kind
4. Big
A kilt wouldn’t hurt, for sure. Dean’s legs are way sexy.
You’ve all seen Utilikilts, right? Not just for Scotsmen. 😉 I’ve been trying to talk Carl into one–he’s got the legs for it–but I haven’t succeeded yet.
If it’s an either/or thing, I’ll go for the brains over the brawn every time. In order, more or less:
1. Brains
2. Honor
3. Humor
4. Confidence
5. Physique
I’m not quite as enamored of JAMMF as some, but I think what I liked best about him was his sense of honor.
The big thing for me right now is a man who will put me ahead of his parents. But of course, he will be intelligent, funny, and a bit creative. Oh, and he must like cats.
I’m with sxKitten – smart, funny, kind, big and I tack on devoted. Unfortunately, my significant other’s legs are not sexy. They are bird legs with vericose veins. Well, I can’t have everything. I tell him he is carrying around the map of the universe on his legs.
Speaking as a woman who thinks Outlander is overrated -it’s a good book but not the Best Book Ever- I don’t get the Jamie love. Yeah, he reads as handsome, charming, honorable, blah, blah, blah, but, well, so? He’s a fictional character, not a guy you can curl up with at night. Charming to read about while the book is in hand, but just another piece of fiction. I kind of don’t really get that sort of obsessing with characters. Same with the readers who lurve J.D. Robb’s Roarke.
What do I want in a man? I don’t think I’m that demanding: a guy who’ll endure my family without rolling his eyes, who doesn’t live at home with his parents, who has a sense of humor and some sort of a plan for his life.
Real women want women. ;o)
…Skittering off giggling…
Doug, don’t ask me why woman like Jamie. I liked the first three books overall, but I didn’t develop the hotties for that guy though he was an ok character.
One of the reasons are his huge hands she keeps mentioning. Totally off-putting for me. 🙂
I just liked the story. Jaimie was fine, the romance was fine, but that wasn’t the it factor for me. The whole package (no pun intended) with the history and the time travel etc… is what made that story for me.
I’m glad you seem to like it.
M
Do I like it? I think so. Like I told Karen: it’s predictable; there isn’t much about it that surprises me. But Gabaldon does it all very well. Competence counts for a lot, I think.
Claire doesn’t pop out for me as a 3-D character, though, at least not in the bit I’ve read (I think I’m 1/3 into it). And except for her curly hair, I don’t have much sense of her appearance.
It’s been a narsty busy day. Doctors always get punished by vacations, even short ones. Um, short vacations, that is. Short doctors get punished every bit as much as tall ones. Anyway, sorry I’ve been slow to comment, everyone — thanks for sharing your thoughts!
And I’m wondering: why no comment on the photo? Have you all seen it already? Is this guy’s ass too feminine to be comment-worthy?
It’s not a feminine ass. It’s narrow and compact, the rear end of a young man. The only time women’s asses look like that is when they’ve been working out really hard, and most women’s asses have more hip to them anyway. That’s one of the things that looks funniest about female body builders, their concave-side asses.
No comment, probably, because women aren’t as a rule as visual as we are. Look at the comments: the only thing most of them mentioned that might be considered a visual attribute is ‘big’, but ‘big’ carries connotations of size and strength and thus, presumably, protectiveness.
Fascinating. I just saw a hairless ass.
As for the unimportance of the visual . . . maybe that’s the explanation for the Redford vs. Newman debate. In Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, Newman comes off as wily/sneaky, Redford as strong, silent, but sweet.
*smirk* I’m on romance-reader email lists. This is about the dozenth time I’ve seen that pic. It’s lost its charm. 😉
My problem is I always fall for the wily/sneaky ones.
So far as the picture goes, I’m not much of a butt girl, I like pecs and shoulders. Plus I’ve seen my fair share of cock shots from bekilted Scotsmen to be nonplussed.
It’s a perfectly nice boy bum, but I’ve seen that picture a dozen times.
I dated a short guy for 6 years, and was mad about him, then married a tall one (and I’m mad about him, too). I think the desire for size must attributable to a prehistoric nub of our brains that tells us a big man can take down the biggest mastadon and drag it back to the cave for our supper. Just a thought.