Balls and Walnuts
more than you ever wanted to know
Monthly Archives: March 2008
Geeks rule!
This warmed my heart:
The scientist and engineer activists are out in full effect, including current and former Fermilab scientists and support staff and academic colleagues of Bill’s. There are several people here from around the country who went to grad school with Bill and are incredibly excited about his campaign.
Some background: in Illinois today (IL-14), voters will select the replacement for former Speaker of the House Dennis Hastert. IL-14 is a solid red district, and this election was never supposed to be much of a horse race. Conventional wisdom had it that Republican dairy millionaire Jim Oberweis would take the seat without much fight. But then former Fermilab physicist Bill Foster (who got his doctorate from Harvard) stepped into the race. (Look at him, he even looks like an eggheaded geek. GEEKS EFFIN RULE! Do you hear me? WE RULE! Yes, I contributed to Foster.)
Now, it’s a competitive seat, and it’s costing the NRCC nearly one-third of its cash on hand to try to hang onto it.
I’m following the results here. Nothing back yet.
FOSTER WINS!
Remember, live blogging tonight.
D.
Everyone loves a tart
Listening to Melody Gardot over on YouTube. What a voice! She reminds me of Cat Power, but there’s more oomph to Ms. Gardot. Yes, more oomph. Now you know why I don’t write more posts about music.
Check out the Wikipedia piece if you get a chance — she has quite a back story.
Here’s Worrisome Heart.
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For our twentieth wedding anniversary, Karen and I went to the French Laundry, the idea being we would hemorrhage $$$ and in return get stuffed with food we would likely never be able to taste elsewhere. It was an unforgettable experience, if for no other reason than the Terminal Truffle made us both flash on the same thing. Anyway, we bought Thomas Keller’s cookbook, too, took it home, and promptly forgot about it.
That was back in 2004. It has taken me this long to make anything from The French Laundry Cookbook; hey, it’s not every day you get a yen for braised stuffed pig’s head in cheesecloth, or pan-roasted breast of squab with swiss chard, sauteed duck foie gras, and oven-dried black figs.
Today, I made two of the desserts. Here’s one of them, and guess what: this recipe is easy.
Leather Goddess of Phobos visits Earth
Today’s Friday Flickr babe: bow down to your goddess, by legskirtluver.
I think I might finally be getting the right mindset. WRONG is to approach the domme thus: “I would love to be your slave; I would love to lick your feet, be your human ashtray, etc. etc.” RIGHT is: “Please let me serve you.”
Because it’s not about what the sub wants, loves, desires. It’s all about serving the domme.
Of course, it’s about the sub’s desires, too. If the sub didn’t want this, he wouldn’t be in the sub role in the first place. But he doesn’t say that is what he wants, because saying so is an assertion of dominance, which violates the role. Got it?
I hope I’m understanding this. Can’t wait to see what the muse does with all this lovely information. You gotta feed the muse.
D.
Another Thirteen
I could have done Thirteen Fruit Desserts. Baked apple! Rhubarb crumble! Port-poached pears!
I could have done Thirteen Hospitals. My son and I were born in the same hospital — how exciting is that?
And I could have done Thirteen Coins. Thrill to the story of the controversial 1878 Trade Dollar — Liberty on a Commode!
I could have done any one of those Thirteens. But would it have been fun?
Naaaah. Instead, I chose . . .
More Magic 8 Ball
Jake’s giving me a heart attack. He asked the online M8 Ball, “Will I live to see my next birthday?”
And the first answer was “No.”
He went for best two out of three, and fortunately, the next two were variations of
Yeah, Jake, go ahead, give your superstitious old man a heart attack. See who pays for your college education then.
ANYWAY: I need one of these Magic 8 Balls for my office. You wouldn’t believe how often people ask me questions which are far more appropriate for the 8 Ball than for me.
Is this antibiotic going to work?
Is it a bad idea for me to go flying this weekend?
Is my nose just going to start bleeding again?
One thing is for certain: if I start whipping out the 8 Ball every time I’m asked one of these questions, I’m gonna get one hell of a rep.
D.
Dubya’s Dominatrix safe and sound?
Not Condi. That woman’s a bottom, don’t you think? No, I’m talking about Leola McConnell — the body builder, dominatrix, political activist, and candidate for the Nevada gubernatorial election of 2006 who claimed to have had S&M sex with George W. Bush in the 1980s, and who further claimed that Bush had had an affair with Victor Ashe, former mayor of Knoxville, Tennessee. She wrote all about this in her book, Lustful Utterances. From some online promotional material quoted here:
“Lustful Utterances†will leave many readers with knots in their stomachs but will provide clarity as to why the homoerotic-sado-masochism of Abu Ghraib prison could only have manifested itself on George Bush’s tenure as leader of the free world.
Indeed. The wife and I often wonder what Bush (whose love of torture goes back to his Yale days, maybe earlier) does with those interrogation tapes and transcripts from Abu Ghraib, Guantanamo, and all those black sites. Wouldn’t be surprised if videos exist, too. I wonder if he wipes them off before sharing them with Dick Cheney?
In November, there was a slew of reports that Ms. McConnell had gone missing. Conspiracy theories popped about (like a rattan cane on pasty presidential buttocks, perhaps? Choose your metaphor), given that Ms. McConnell published Lustful Utterances after Bush failed to abide by her public request that he come clean about his bisexuality. Payback, perhaps? Did Bush go nukular on his former domme and present nemesis?
Well, maybe not. I had a difficult time finding info on Ms. McConnell, but her website appears to have been recently updated (January, perhaps even more recently). I hope she’s okay. The world needs every last one of its ass-kickin’ dommes.
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Why am I checking such things? Research, my friends. Research.
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My review of The Hub Issue 43-46 is up at The Fix. Check it out.
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FUNNY.
D.
Waiting
My question for the Magic 8 Ball:
Will Jane Doe* request my full manuscript?
Fucker.
Maybe it’s lying.
D.
*Oh, just some agent who ACTUALLY LIKED MY SAMPLE, that’s all.
2008 Guide to Hiring Men
Three woots to MissLaura at DailyKos for shouting out I Heart Chaos’s reprint of the 1943 Guide to Hiring Women, which includes, among other gems,
2. When you have to use older women, try to get ones who have worked outside the home at some time in their lives. Older women who have never contacted the public have a hard time adapting themselves and are inclined to be cantankerous and fussy. It’s always well to impress upon older women the importance of friendliness and courtesy.
3. General experience indicates that “husky†girls – those who are just a little on the heavy side – are more even tempered and efficient than their underweight sisters.
4. Retain a physician to give each woman you hire a special physical examination – one covering female conditions. This step not only protects the property against the possibilities of lawsuit, but reveals whether the employee-to-be has any female weaknesses which would make her mentally or physically unfit for the job.
Read all eleven recommendations over at I Heart Chaos. Anyway, this got me thinking: surely women aren’t the only humans with special needs in the workplace. Perhaps the HR Department needs guidance in hiring men, too.