A fun meme (for a change)

From Maureen:

“In lieu of an actual post, I stole this meme from Miss Snark’s Blog this morning.

1. Grab the nearest book.
2. Open the book to page 123.
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the text of the sentence in your journal along with these instructions.
5. Don’t search around and look for the “coolest” book you can find. Do what’s actually next to you.”

I’m having Jake read The Golden Compass, and it really is right next to me. Here’s the sentence:

But her mind was on John Faa and the parley room, and before long she slipped away up the cobbles again to the Zaal.

Beneath that book, I have Jorge Luis Borges Collected Fictions. Page 123 puts us smack dab inside “The Garden of Forking Paths,” one of my favorite fantasy short stories. Sentence five:

That was why unconsciously I had fully given myself over to it.

Fun and easy. I’d do Strunk and White, too, but there’s no page 123.

I tag the first five people who read this post ;o)

D.

Another evil meme

Thank Suisan for this one.

Seven Things To Do Before I Die:

You know, I wanted to write a few funny one-liners for that one, but “Before I Die” is such a buzz-kill that I have to take the blasted thing seriously. Sorry, “Go on Southeast Asian sex junket” will have to stay off the list. For now.

1. Go to Europe and wander around to my heart’s content.
2. Sell my novel, go on a book tour, and have dozens of screaming teenage girls line up so that I can autograph their breasts.
3. Bake one of those big, fat, fancy pastry things Tony Shalhoub makes at the end of Big Night.
4. Tour the world and meet all of y’all.
5. Watch Michelle Malkin and Ann Coulter bitch-slap each other silly on Meet the Press. That’s not a joke. I really want to see that before I die.
6. See my wife regain her health.
7. See my son grow up into a responsible, caring adult.

Seven Things I Cannot Do:

1. Speak Chinese (except for “Hoa hoa hoa,” which means, “Yeah, yeah, yeah,” and “Aya!” which means, “Get outa here!”)
2. Program a VCR.
3. Fix my car, or fix any damn thing, for that matter.
4. Not get angry at Jake (that’s his suggestion).
5. Respect George W. Bush.
6. Kick ass in a shooter (any Unreal Tournament fans out there?)
7. Die, unless someone chops off my head with one fat mofo of a sword, in which case he’ll get all my power. There can be only one!

Seven Things That Attract Me To My Spouse (or Significant Other, Best Friend, etc.)

1. Her bravery.
2. She knows how to fix stuff.
3. She’s smarter than me.
4. She can balance a checkbook and keep me out of financial trouble.
5. She laughs at my jokes.
6. She’s a hell of a critter.
7. She’s not repulsed by my body.

Seven Things I Say (or Write) Most Often:

1. Jake!
2. Karen, hit the mute. This is funny!
3. Kitty, goddammit!
4. No.
5. Gimme some sugar, baby (inspired by Bruce Campbell, natch).
6. (To patients) What can I do for you today?
7. (To patients) Eeeeeew!

Catrina, one of my office staff, has asked me to add:

8. *SIGH*
9. Am I done yet?

Seven Books (or Series) I love:

1. The Big Sleep by Raymond Chandler
2. The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald
3. Terry Pratchett’s Diskworld books
4. John LeCarre’s George Smiley novels
5. John D. Fitzgerald’s Great Brain books (loved ’em as a kid)
6. As I Lay Dying by William Faulkner
7. Martin Cruz Smith’s Arkady Renko novels

Seven Movies I Would Watch Over and Over Again:

1. The Godfather, because it promotes good family values.
2. Truly, Madly, Deeply, for reasons mentioned here.
3. Gross Point Blank, for the screenplay, and for John Cusack, of course.
4. Prophecy, for the screenplay, and for Christopher Walken.
5. Young Frankenstein, because Teri Garr was so yummy. And, I love the scene at the end with the monster in bed with Madeline Kahn.
6. Army of Darkness, for the screenplay, and for Bruce Campbell.
7. The Exorcist, because it keeps getting funnier every time.

Seven People I Want To Join In (Be Tagged)

1. My newest pal, Blue Gal.
2. Beth, because I know she’ll never forgive me for it.
3. Candy, to punish her for not coming around here lately.
4. Pat Kirby, cuz I know she can dish it.
5. Darla, so she’ll take a break from all that theorizin’.
6. Gabriele, so she’ll shame us with her list of books she loves.
7. Lilith, cuz she’s wonky on pain meds (sorry to hear it, Lili) and needs distraction.

D.

If Amanda can procrastinate, so can I

Besides — it’s after 11. Too late to write anyway.

Also, I’m bummed. Amanda’s character has far better boobage than me. Just as well; if I were Amanda’s character, I’d never get anything done.

You are a Grassroots Activist. Anti-capitalist,
anti-patrist, anti-authoritarian, whatever,
you’re just fuckin’ anti. You probably tell
people you hate postmodernism, but that
assertion elides the complex interdependencies
among academic poststructuralism and
street-level activism. You don’t bathe
regularly (like hell I don’t!), and know at least one person who has
scabbies (that’s scabies, Nimrod).

What kind of postmodernist are you!?
brought to you by Quizilla

D.

Drat! Another meme.

This one’s from Amanda. It seemed a bit boring, so I decided to make it more challenging.

1. Go into your archives.

2. Find your 23rd post.

And you thought Metallica was a head-banger band.

3. Post the fifth sentence.

A bloke named Hendriks braved Bengal tigers, heavily armed Indian outlaws, and worst of all, the Indian Customs Export Bureau to take seven tarantulas back to Europe.

4. Post the text of the sentence in your blog along with these instructions.
Done.

That’s the boring part. Where’s the excitement? The challenge? I’m going to change rule #4:

4. Pretend your fifth sentence is a punch line. What’s the joke? (Kinda like Jeopardy, eh?)

How does the London Zoo punish people who disobey the “Please Don’t Feed the Bears” sign?

5. Tag five other people to do the same thing.

I’ll leave this one open to the public. I’m feeling memed out.

More later . . . I hope.

D.

Cuz Beth’s doing it

Not far off from CHUD, eh?

D.

Dammit, I was certain I’d be Inigo Montoya

Which Fantasy/SF dumbass are you?

I’m John Sheridan. Who the fV(k? I never watched Babylon 5. How could I be like this dweeb?

Karen got Jean Luc Picard and Jake got Wesley Crusher. Somehow, I don’t feel like I’m in the right family. (I was kinda hoping Karen would get Seven of Nine, but no such luck.)

On a lighter note, this image made me feel all warm and cozy. (Beth, do NOT click on that link! It shows a small spider in a person’s ear canal. You’ve been warned.)

Okay, want some serious reading? Check out the post below.

D.