Balls and Walnuts
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Thirteen vocabulary words or phrases
I suspect there’s a theme here, but for the life of me, I don’t see it.
1. Frottage Here and below, definitions are from Wikipedia:
Frottage is normal sexual activity without penetration that can include any form of sexual rubbing, whether naked or clothed, for arousal or orgasm.
This includes such activities as frot, tribadism, and axillary intercourse (“putting the penis in the other person’s armpit”). See link above for details. See also The Princeton Rub (those madcap Ivy Leaguers, what will they get up to next?)
Example: We had to get rid of our Chihuahua, Max, as he greeted strangers with entirely too much frottage.
Hospital life
As promised, here’s a photo of me unselfishly guinea-pigging myself for the greater good:
It’s a good thing I’m not a colorectal surgeon. I couldn’t show those photos. (Does that mean I have limits after all?)
***
‘Kay, so I got rid of the rest of this post because (A) I have a sneaking suspicion certain hospital folks lack a sense of humor (not you, Leann) and (B) making jokes about elderly, demented people is probably in poor taste. Even for me. Consequently, noxcat’s comment below no longer makes sense.
In any case, I’ve posted my 13, so you have plenty of other tasteless things to keep you occupied.
D.
Word of the week
From Wikipedia:
Disinhibition can mean:
- Loss of inhibition, as through the influence of external stimuli such as drugs or alcohol, or as a result of brain damage.
- Unrestrained behavior resulting from a lessening or loss of inhibitions or a disregard of cultural constraints.
“Please know from my heart that I am not an anti-Semite. I am not a bigot. Hatred of any kind goes against my faith.”
Drunk.
Lunatic.
Anti-Semite.
Add to the list:
Liar.
Hypocrite.
And to think I used to keep a poster of him (as the Road Warrior) on my wall during college. Mel, I thought you were cool. I was such a dumbass.
D.
SBD: How much is too much?
RWA attendees, did you miss me? Here’s a Smart Bitches Day post for y’all, to welcome you back.
Aside from our third trip to the beach for kite-flying (yay! Success this time!) (and the woman sunbathing in the nude — she’s worth a yay, too. Yay!) I spent the weekend writing 8000-and-something words, half of which comprised a chapter-long sex scene.
Beta readers, never fear, you’ll be getting it soon enough. But I have a question for the general audience. Being a guy, I like my sex scenes nasty and graphic. Are there any boundaries Which Shall Not Be Crossed? Writing this scene, I didn’t give much thought to the question. I merely tried to write a scene which worked for me. And, oh boy, did it ever.
What are the rules?
D.
Oops! Edited to add (so as to fit Beth’s theme, ‘What kinda romance will you NOT read’):
What kinda sex scene will you NOT read?
My answer: any sex scene in which, at the moment of orgasm, the universe is mentioned.
D. For real this time.
Show-off
Twenty minutes ago I discovered a new low to which I would sink in order to be the center of attention. But to be violated by three women — how could I pass up an opportunity like that?
Front line in the War on Sex
We all know Republicans hate sex*, particularly if they suspect everyone else but them is having it. Well, a crafty bunch of liberals has devised a way of using this weakness — call it an Achilles’ Scrotum — against them:
A new website tells sexy liberals how they can help beat Bush by promising to fuck a conservative in exchange for his or her guarantee not to support Bush.
Fuck the Vote is part satire and part activism, taking cues from both MTV’s Rock the Vote campaign and from the porn industry; the website shows pictures of the growing number of liberal male and female models ready to knock boots to knock out Bush.
It chokes me up, thinking of all those brave young men and women willing to take one from a Republican in exchange for a single vote. Now that’s selfless sacrifice.
In other news: Mel Gibson preempts the tabloids by posting a photo from his recent bust for driving under the influence. Yes, Mel, your arrest facilitates the International Jewish Conspiracy‘s plan for world domination. We’re still pissed over The Passion.
D.
*There must be a name for the rhetorical trick of assuming a fact without providing any proof. On the other hand, there’s a Latin legal phrase for situations in which the facts are so plainly obvious no one would dare disagree: res ipsa loquitur, the thing speaks for itself.
The rules of live video blogging
In preparation for tonight’s live video blogging session (8 PM to 9 PM PST, longer if Dean shows up), I’ve decided to set out some basic ground rules for my personal behavior.
1. Do not rub, scratch, or otherwise fondle your nose. No matter what you do to your nose, everyone will think you’re picking it.
2. Floss your teeth before going live.
3. Unless you look like Erin O’Brien (and I know you don’t, Hoffman), keep your shirt on. No one wants to see your hairy man-tits.
4. Do not verbally upbraid, badger, beat, or maim your son, or inflict any damage which might cause Child Protective Services to rain heavily down upon your ass.
5. Try to ignore all the flaky sex-chat folks who come around looking for a good time. Then again, maybe you should lead them on. It could be fun for the others. Hell, let’s have a verbal orgy!
6. SMILE for a change. You are so grim sometimes.
Now go out there and break all the rules!
D.
Michelle’s E-list
Here’s some linky love to go with your morning coffee:
Michelle posted a great list of editing tips. No matter how many of these lists I read, I always learn something new.
Michelle has also been infected by the cheesecake meme. First, Dean feted us with calories, and now Michelle wants to make me fat, too. But you won’t see me posting any cheesecake recipes. My son doesn’t like it and my wife never eats more than a slice. I’ll give you one guess who winds up eating 90% of the cheesecake.
I’m feeling loose this morning. Do you have a post you want hyped? Leave a comment, and I’ll give you some hot linky love.
D.
The resurrection of Mel
After a long hiatus, our favorite Latin blogger is back in action! Mel Gibson comments on his recent arrest for suspicion of DUI:
They told me that drinking the blood of Jesus was a crime. If being a true Christian is a crime for which I may be
persecutedprosecuted, then I will demand the death penalty!
Go give him some love, people.
***
Who wants to see me go live?
I’m going to try to go live with my webcam tomorrow evening at 8 PM PST. Come on over for a chat if you’re in the mood. Who knows, it could be fun.
But I have to warn you . . . for some reason, I seem to attract lots of strange sex chat people. Folks with really limited imaginations.
Stay tuned.
D.