Balls and Walnuts
more than you ever wanted to know
SBD: How much is too much?
RWA attendees, did you miss me? Here’s a Smart Bitches Day post for y’all, to welcome you back.
Aside from our third trip to the beach for kite-flying (yay! Success this time!) (and the woman sunbathing in the nude — she’s worth a yay, too. Yay!) I spent the weekend writing 8000-and-something words, half of which comprised a chapter-long sex scene.
Beta readers, never fear, you’ll be getting it soon enough. But I have a question for the general audience. Being a guy, I like my sex scenes nasty and graphic. Are there any boundaries Which Shall Not Be Crossed? Writing this scene, I didn’t give much thought to the question. I merely tried to write a scene which worked for me. And, oh boy, did it ever.
What are the rules?
D.
Oops! Edited to add (so as to fit Beth’s theme, ‘What kinda romance will you NOT read’):
What kinda sex scene will you NOT read?
My answer: any sex scene in which, at the moment of orgasm, the universe is mentioned.
D. For real this time.
I, personally, want to read sex scenes that ring true. Sex is a graphic act. And I think it should be described as such. If people can’t deal with that, perhaps they need to be having a bit more of it.
My two cents? Don’t hold back. You’re supposed to write according to your own tastes…first and foremost.
When you come across that editor who decides he or she wants to work with you…they’ll definitely tell you what they would like for you to cut or add. And then the two of you can come to a compromise on that.
And they’ve seen just about everything. You may think you’ve written the most graphic sex scene in the world, but I’m sure they can quote something much more graphic.
I once read a manuscript describing very graphic sex…a man having sex with himself. He had an extrememly long penis…tucked it under…and you can imagine what he did with it. Man…I had never read anything like that before. LOL.
In summary, go with your own flow for the time being. There are far too many formulas people are trying to stick to. And things are getting a bit boring.
Who knows? You just might be the one to shake things up a little.
Do your thing, luv.
not even if said universe is exploding, splintering, expanding and/or filling with colors? how about just seeing a coupla stars?
wait, wait, that’s being knocked silly.
Arianna Strand and I are giving an online workshop in october on writing erotica (someone’s got to do it. We might as well) and I’m stealing that line–with attribution.
I don’t like to read about rape or anal sex. I also find some writers obsess over nipple licking a bit too much when there are plenty of places for a tongue to go…just not up the bum hole.
How long should a love scene last? Well I suppose that depends on how good a writer you are. If you can keep it up *cough* for a few pages and not make your reader queasy and uneasy then good on you. I often read about the four or five orgasm sex session and think “Are they 18? No they’re my age…why aren’t they tired – don’t these people have jobs to get to in the morning?” but that could be just me…
Your calendar hasn’t rolled on to august yet…why’s that?
Thanks, folks. Cali, is that physically possible, even with a long one? Sounds hilarious, in any case!
Kate, I had a moment’s discomfort writing that line. I couldn’t remember if you had ever mentioned the universe! BTW, gimme a heads-up when your workshop goes online.
Lyvvie, you’re right, rape’s a turn-off, even (especially?) the romanticized stuff. As for the multi-orgasmic stuff, I have an excuse. These two have 25/26 years’ worth of libido stored up. They get to have as many orgasms as they like.
What?? No becoming one with the cosmos? ~sob~
oh I might have done. But then I read so damn many expanding exploding and churning universes, I realized HEY, that’s kind of a ummmmm . . . cliche, maybe?
It’s amazing how difficult it is to come up with new ways to describe orgasms or the old slot a and tab b act.
You have to write whatever sex scene will move the plot forward or develop a character. It must be about something bigger than just the sex. It must be organic to the story. It must never feel gratuitious or grafted.
Here’s something sexy from my novel on which I worked very hard.
No go get laid.
That last line was supposed to read, “Now go get laid.”
eff.
I will not read any sex scene in which Iraq is invaded.
I don’t wanna read about poop or pee in my sex scenes. Fortunately, I have not come across any of these yet so it has not been an issue. Anal sex scenes don’t do it for me, but they don’t really gross me out either, unless, of course, someone writes one involving poop or pee.
I don’t particularly enjoy rape scenes in books, but I don’t get offended by them if they are a plot point. Rape scenes that somehow become love scenes, or in which the victim later falls in love with the rapist do bother me a great deal. That just ain’t right.
Forced seduction is such a damn silly concept that it does not bother me at all. That never really happens.
I won’t read anything involving a leprous orangutan, boll weevils and breadfruit.
Grossness just to be gross doesn’t do much for me either. ‘Tis a fine line between raunchy and crass.
With my sex scene in mind, let me take stock:
No exploding universes, no cosmic fusion: check.
No rape: check.
No Iraq, leprous orangutans, boll weevils, breadfruit, or poop: check.
Pee? Mentioned. But no one pees on anyone else.
Anal? Hmm. I’m still thinking about that.
Just don’t make it boring–that’s all I ask. It’s pretty darn pitiful how many times I skim explicit sex scenes because they’re dull.
Mostly, I’ll never say never. Kinsale, frex, has a pretty darn intense rape scene in Shadowheart.
Oh, and none of this pausing for a little nookie when the bad guys are right behind you. Unless, of course, you’re going to invite them to join in. 😉
Other irritations: the 3-thrust sex scene (once, twice, and then they both become simultaneously one with the cosmos); the ones that are self-consciously “risque”, particularly when they aren’t (oooh, she’s on top!); and please spare me the hero thinking that the heroine would run if she knew what he wanted to do to her–it makes me think he’s either a) incredibly unimaginative or thinks she is, or b) a serial killer.
I ought to blog about this myself… I ought to get to your scenes, too. Once I get caught up. (my mantra for the past week and probably for the next one as well)
Your job, Darla, is to let me know if my scenes are boring 😉
Okay if we’re getting picky:
Fewer fruit comparisons. Less with the velvet. And no live goldfish.
Less cream produced by everyone, okay?
I went with a much different food comparison, Kate. You’ll have to tell me what you think.
The food references make me laugh every time. I don’t know if that was your intent, but Brad’s obsession with food is a really funny quirk for me.
Maybe it’s because the only things men get obsessed with around here are shooting things, football, and fricking trucks with balls hanging off the back of ’em. What the hell? When will that shit die?!
People are so weird, eh?
I can’t relate to sports obsessions, Shelbi. People always say, “Make your protags care deeply about something.” I wanted to use something I could understand, too.
Makes sense to me, and I’m certainly not griping.
However, I doubt that I’ll be diving into the romance genre any time soon, considering what I have to work with.
I do have a wonderful husband [and he generally keeps his balls covered]. His obsession is music, which I can relate to, but he’s into Eighties Hair Bands, and I hate those with a white-hot passion.
I have considered writing a hick-type romance a la Redneck Woman by Gretchin Wilson once or twice [never seriously].
That song was so freaking popular here it made me want to hurt somebody after a while, but I was thinking as popular as that song was, people might enjoy some good ole sloppy sex on the farm, eh?
Or maybe on the front porch in July with the Christmass lights and stars to light their way?
people might enjoy some good ole sloppy sex on the farm, eh?
But please, no farm animals 🙂