Balls and Walnuts
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Conversation on WoW
Slow lazy day today. And hot, too, hotter than a typical Southern Oregon summer day. We all vegged at the computer today, Jake spending hours on Wikipedia, Karen and I taking turns playing World of Warcraft.
A guy who goes by the name Theprofessor came through Felwood and gave me a couple of Druidic buffs. I thanked him, he np’d me back and moved on, like Clint Eastwood drifting through the High Plains. An hour later he reappeared and buffed me again. My character, Shewitch, whispered to him, “Thanks.”
Theprofessor: np
Shewitch: Are you a professor in real life?
Theprofessor: lol no. Are you a Shewitch in real life?
Shewitch: No, but I married one.
Theprofessor: Hah!
Shewitch: But I used to be a prof.
Theprofessor: Really? What did u teach?
Shewitch: med school. I’m an ear, nose, throat surgeon.
Theprofessor: ur doing this to relax
Shewitch: Yup. I write stories and I play WoW.
Theprofessor: cool
Shewitch: but I’m too tired to write. Rather kill stuff. Sometimes as a doc it’s fun to kill stuff for a change.
Lest you feel like reporting me to my State Medical Board, I hasten to add I’ve been killing beasts, furbolgs, and naga. No humans.
Here’s a furbolg. Wouldn’t you want to kill it?
I felt it would be worthwhile to post this so that the less technical of you would realize, not all instant messaging consists of have u stroked it 2nite?
D.
It’s not me. Really.
| Disorder | Rating |
| Paranoid Personality Disorder: | Very High |
| Schizoid Personality Disorder: | High |
| Schizotypal Personality Disorder: | High |
| Antisocial Personality Disorder: | High |
| Borderline Personality Disorder: | Very High |
| Histrionic Personality Disorder: | Very High |
| Narcissistic Personality Disorder: | Very High |
| Avoidant Personality Disorder: | High |
| Dependent Personality Disorder: | Very High |
| Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder: | High |
— Take the Personality Disorder Test — — Personality Disorder Info — |
|
But I’ll bet my sis knows who this is.
D.
It’s still not too late
. . . to get your own World of Warcraft epic gear.
Here is the rest of O’Brien’s armor. I see she’s wearing the Legendary Wicked Cowl of the Dominatrix — nice. Who did you have to kill to get that one, O’Brien?
In other news . . .
Company this weekend. My MIL, SIL, SIL’s hubs, and their daughter are due to arrive any time now. I’ve been shopping and cleaning all morning.
I really hope I didn’t screw up the dates on this. I’d to do all this cleaning for nuthin.
D.
You know you want to.
Here’s an easy way to thank Keith Olbermann.
And, of course, the one time you have ever given us specifics about what you have kept us safe from, Mr. Bush — you got the name of the supposedly targeted Tower in Los Angeles… wrong.
Thus was it left for the previous President to say what so many of us have felt; what so many of us have given you a pass for in the months and even the years after the attack:
You did not try.
You ignored the evidence gathered by your predecessor.
You ignored the evidence gathered by your own people.
Then, you blamed your predecessor.
That would be the textbook definition… Sir, of cowardice.
(Full transcript at Crooks and Liars.)
Why thank the man? Because in a media circus crowded with cowards, it often seems that Keith is the only mensch.
D.
Open offer
If any of my female readers would like their own legendary gear (see below), email me a photo of your panty-clad tush and I will craft phenomenal armor for you. Wouldn’t you like to be the first woman on your block to own Epic Mithril Frilly Pink Panties of the Succubus? You know you would.
If you need chest armor, feel free to send upper torso photos as well.
Email your jpg files to:
azureus at harborside
dot
com
🙂
D.
Thirteen books
Launching into this, I have no idea whether I have thirteen books in me. If I come up short, y’all are going to have to suggest a few.
Here goes nothing.
You know you play too much World of Warcraft when . . .
Your son asks, “Why are you wearing your leopard armor?”
We got some dude off the street to model those undies. Really. Some guy who just happened to be hairy like me. I mean, you don’t really think I’d put my butt up on this blog, do you?
D.
A not-so-short story for you
I published “All Change” about a year ago in Continuum Science Fiction — never really liked the new title the editor gave it (“The Gorjun is Free”), but then, “All Change” kinda sucks, too.
Here’s the story. It’s a bit under 5K words . . . not exactly a quickie, but some folks like longer tales.
There’s a bit of history to this one. I’ve long been a fan of Robert Silverberg’s Beyond Control, a collection which included contributions from Silverberg, Asimov, Bester, Carr, Dick, and Blish. If you can find it, buy it. When I wrote “All Change”, I wanted to capture the same all-hell-breaking-loose atmosphere of those stories.
This is also the story that a Certain Someone over at Writer’s BBS thought would be great as a screenplay. He knew how to write screenplays and I didn’t, so we decided to collaborate. One month later, Certain Someone and I were no longer on speaking terms, and my muse froze me out for weeks.
Enough of that. I have something else in store for you tonight.
D.
Reruns. Better than bupkes.
For all of you folks living on the edge of despair, take heart. Things can turn around overnight. I can’t go into details — would you believe it? I have limits! Who knew! — honestly, I’m happy to tell you anything about myself, but when it affects my family or my friends, I have to keep shtum. But let’s just say that starting with this, I have become a happy man.
Of course, since I’m Jewish, I know it can’t last. I’m already cherishing the memory.
I have an overwhelming desire to regurgitate an old post — my favorite — because when I’m happy, what do I want to do most?
Share my ‘nads with the world.
From nearly a year ago, I present,
Say Hello to My Little Friend