Balls and Walnuts
more than you ever wanted to know
Newsflash to Professor Snape
Professor:
Explain to our cats why their tails burst into flame every time they race across the Punishment Veil. I don’t think Melantha will ever come out of the attic.
Explain to our fish why your fireball spell missed Mrs. Snape and hit their aquarium instead. Oh! That’s right! You can’t explain it to them. They’re dead.
Explain to my son why, when Mrs. Snape belted you with our cast iron pan, you had to use his every last Bagel Bite to treat your black eyes. NO, they are NOT “still good.”
But, best of all, the feather that broke the hippogriff’s back:
. . . polyamory potion induces in its user a lust for the first person he or she sees. With proper planning, and with access to a squadron of college cheerleaders, one milliliter of polyamory potion could give a wizard a night of unsurpassed bliss. Desite Walnut’s blusterings, polyamory potion is the reason I know he will help me in my designs on that Font of Fecundity, Michelle Duggar.
Explain to my wife, WHO READS MY BLOG, why you were going to bribe me with polyamory potion. You a$$hole.
That does it. Pack your bags. You’re on your own trying to win the heart of She Who Must Conceive.
D.
Wow, down and out to an extreme. Come to mine Prof. Snape, I have a nice steak for those eyes of yours.
Good luck Doug with the Fish funeral; may they rest in peace.
Have a nice weekend!!
Wow. I find myself wondering at the mind that came up with the Snape-Michelle ship. It’s… mindboggling.