Balls and Walnuts
more than you ever wanted to know
Sleepless in Seattle Brookings
It doesn’t happen that often, but WordPress just ate my post.
And, as the above title suggests, I’m way too tired to reproduce it. Too bad, really; it would have made you laugh, and cry, and reevaluate your world view, and donate all your worldly goods to the orphaned puppies and kitties of the world, and changed your amalgam fillings to gold caps, and made your breasts grow one cup size, assuming of course that you want your breasts to grow one cup size.
Good night. Let’s see if I can get more than four hours of sleep this time around.
D.
P.S.: Okay, let me put a romantic scenario to you, followed by a few questions. Boy breaks up with girl, discovers his true feelings only after breaking up, comes crawling back. Familiar scenario? Has it happened to you? Did you take him back? Under what circumstances would you take him back — or is he toast forever? Phrased a bit differently: would the trite romantic comedy climax (guy performs some ridiculous feat, like Steve Carell’s bike ride at the end of 40 Year Old Virgin, proving his oh so stubborn love) ever work for you?
I’d suspect that stubborn feats merely make you look obsessive and creepy.
Hmmm… that doesn’t seem fair, now that I think about it. Men are conditioned, at least by popular literature, to be persistent, and yet being persistent could land you in jail.
Great, now I’m going to sound like I’m boasting…but I’ve had a few ex BFs come back wanting, well some wanted a booty call. A couple wanted to get back together for serious. I tended to sit and have coffee or drinks with them, catch up. Every time, I was thanking myself for getting out when I did. Especially to the one who said to me “My life is going no where and I know you can fix me. You always fix things. You make me better.” and I’m sure he thought he was complimenting me, but all I heard was “I’m so immature I need you to be my Mom, please. With blow-jobs.”
I’m certainly not a never-say-never type (Well I suppose since I’m married now, then Yes I Am!) but there would’ve had to have been some serious personality changes made to make me rethink my decision. Chemistry can only carry a relationship so far.
This is a tricky one because so often all the reasons a couple break up are completely valid reasons, thus getting back together (whether begging is involved or not) just delays the inevitable. Then again there are real life scenarios like when my husband and I broke up back when we were dating: He came back a few months later significantly matured by some life experiences, and voila, here we are together many years later.
Sometimes it is just some simple thing one or the other (or maybe both) of the people involved need to realize or examine and work on/change, but sometimes what’s broken can’t be fixed.
So I think it depends, based on circumstance and the people involved. How’s that for a definitive answer?
The week I was getting married to Dear Butcher, my former boyfriend from, let’s see, was it three years earlier? called me to say, “What’s up?”
“Well, uh, I’m getting married this week.”
“REALLY?”
It was a very odd conversation. He definitely was hoping that we could go out for drinks and rekindle something. In the time since he and I had broken up, he had married his girlfriend from two relationships before. He used to tell me how much he regretted breaking up with her when we were together. (Yeah. He was a bit of a wimp.) So after marrying her, he had quit his job, moved to a different state, and had become a cheese cutter in a natural foods market.
But cheese cutting wasn’t very profitable, and so they broke up, and he moved back to my state.
If I hadn’t been about to get married, I dunno. I might have gone out with him again. He was so pathetic it was somehow very non-threatening and endearing. At the time he reminded me a lot of High Grant in Four Weddings and a Funeral. Attractive and shy and somehow not a great catch, but one you think about from time to time.
I do admit to wondering if he spent his second relationship with her talking about how great I had been. It would fit the pattern.
Personally, I don’t think there’s one cinematic event that one guy could enact that would cause me to take him back. It would have to be the old thing of “You were right and now I see that I’m wrong, so I’ve changed my ways. No really. I swear. Here’s proof.” But then again, that’s pathetic too.
i can’t actually answer, since my boyfriend broke up with me on sunday and i have a feeling that if he changed his mind i’d probably take him back, no dramatic movie-worthy scene necessary. then again, maybe not. maybe i’d be all, you made your choice, stick with it. i don’t know. i honestly don’t know. :-/
I just thought you would appreciate this. Since I have been reading you for a while. And it will probably cheer you up.
http://i266.photobucket.com/albums/ii261/Da_Grimm_One/shakingred.gif