Balls and Walnuts
more than you ever wanted to know
SBD: Do you really need that ring?
To get the taste of Trouble in High Heels out of my mouth, I picked up Jennifer Crusie’s Fast Women at our local used bookstore. I peeled through it in a week, record time for me.
Here’s the set-up: sisters-in-law Nell, Suze, and Margie (related through their marriages to the men of the Dysart family) are the eponymous fast women. Nell, our protag, has been through a rough divorce. Forty-something, cancer thin, and an emotional zombie, she takes a temp job at a detective agency, where she soon tries to run Gabe McKenna’s life and gets her post-divorce cherry popped by Gabe’s cousin Riley.
Despite the early Nell-on-Riley action, this is Gabe’s and Nell’s romance, with Suze + Riley playing a strong supporting role. An embezzling mystery (which soon becomes a murder mystery) provides a good slug of narrative drive, as does the verbal back-and-forth between Gabe and Nell. Margie is the weak link of the team, a bewildering character whom Crusie did little to develop.
For me, the most interesting part of Fast Women was Crusie’s dissection of the reasons why people get married. She seems to be saying that folks get married for the wrong reasons all the time, so it’s not enough to end that romance with a ring — the ring needs to be offered for the right reasons, too. As Nell speculates towards the end,
It should be harder to get married, she thought. You should have to take tests, get a learner’s permit, you should need more than a pulse and twenty bucks to get a license.
For today’s Smart Bitches Day post, I’d like to pose a question: is marriage a necessity for an HEA?
Let’s look at it. Happily ever after. We end up together, we’re bonded, we’ve vowed to be there for one another no matter what crap the fates throw our way. Sure sounds like marriage to me, but that narrowminded opinion shows disrespect to those folks who have bonded for life without license, ring, or ceremony. Alan Rickman and his gal, for example. And what about all the married couples who are living unhappily ever after, or have made a farce of their vows? Surely happily ever after should not require a wedding ring.
Opinions?
D.
PS: There’s even some girl-on-girl action in Fast Women. I shit you not. I would have taken it a good deal farther, but that’s me for you.
I used to be bitter about the whole HEA thing–marriage certainly isn’t the guarantee of it. Then, my husband said (shouted) one day, “But marriage is supposed to be EASY!” I haven’t stopped laughing since.
We’ve made our own rules, boundaries, and agreements, though, and some aren’t exactly traditional. Regardless of what some may think, we have our own minds and have created something that works rather than made a farce of vows that didn’t apply.
Hope that makes sense.
Crusie is good (imo) at the non-wedding endings. Crazy for You ends without one, as does Tell Me Lies (I think).
HEA doesn’t necessarily mean marriage to me — in fact, the mandatory epilogue with the wedding and/or 2.3 children is enough to ruin an otherwise good book. If the author must include a wrap up of some sort, it should tell me that the couple are happy together, or that they are getting to know each other better, or even that they have screaming fights and then fantastic makeup sex (and that they both are comfortable with that kind of relationship). But please don’t force a wedding ring on anyone’s finger – especially if the h/h barely know each other or have expressed reservations about the institution earlier in the book.
I think that’s my main problem with Romanca novels – there is no HEA in real life. Thare are troubles, and trials, and problems, and sometimes even the best match just doesn’t work.
Marriage isn’t the end – it’s only the beginning, and it’s WORK. Sometimes easy work, sometimes damn hard and painful, but work nonetheless.
Wait, you can have an HEA that hints at the real work necessary to sustain a relationship.
For me, the HEA means that those two people are committed to each other, that they’ve each expressed that they love the other, and that in some way they think of themselves as a faithful unit. (Faithful as in they won’t screw around, not faithful as in they attend church.)
Quite a few romances have the marriage partway in the book, and the husband and wife really don’t get along well, unless they’re shtupping. And quite a few don’t have marriages (but I think that must be more common in Contemporaries, certainly not that common in Historicals).
What burns me in an HEA is the, “We HAVE to get married to demonstrate that we love each other” feeling some of them have in the last chapter. And the stinking epilogues with the fourteen children, each one ready to spawn a sequel. Blegh.
For all that we insist upon the HEA’s, I believe that writing a convincing one is not always easy. Drama, angst, sex, fighting, suspense, more sex, drama, Oh Gee! I love you. Marry Me?
Not so much.
A wealthy widow friend once told a man who proposed to her: Honey, you don’t propose marriage to a woman like me – you propose a merger. Whip out your assets and we’ll talk. (and yeah, I stole that and used it in a book)
For me? HEA is when he has the muscles to pick up his own clothes and I’m able to monitor my own mood swings. Everything after that is either negotiable or gravy and doesn’t need paper validation.
That’s a fun book, isn’t it? I love when Nell says she’s slept with everybody at the table (her ex among the group) and Riley and Gabe are upset that they didn’t get to watch Nell and Suz.
Okay, this is good, cuz in my NiP I have reservations about a marriage in the end. That would feel way too rushed. Love, commitment, yes.
Yup, now it’s wide open to a more natural ending. And if Dean’s right about this not being a romance, then hell, everyone could die in the end.
Kidding, kidding!
Oh, and Charlene? I agree — that was a high point. Fun, fun scene.
HEA and a ring are definitely not synonymous. I had the ring, and it most definitely didn’t lead to HEA. Now I’ve got no ring, but the HEA is looking pretty solid. Yeah, there are going to be ups and downs, but we’re a solid team and I think we can weather pretty much anything together – and be a hell of a lot hapiier than either of us could on our own.
A ring wouldn’t change that.
Gotta say, I loathe the epilogues with the wedding &/or the laundry list of offspring, particularly when one or both of the characters has been anti-children or marriage, and only
hot sextrue love changed their minds….Oh, wait. I was pretty darn sure I never wanted to get married or have kids, and just look–next week is my 22nd anniversary, and I’ve got 3 kids. Whoops. Sounds hypocritcal of me, doesn’t it?
Gotta have some HEA in a romance–whether it’s marriage or just an “I love you” or something in between depends on the story and the characters. Otherwise, it’s Not A Romance.
Most definitely, the HEA does not have to include a wedding. And generally, most of my favorites stop short of the wedding–there might be a proposal, but the point of the romance novel is the couple falling in love, and you’ve got to figure that if they’re engaged, they’re in love.
Of course marriage isn’t the end. (see above, re: 22 years) But neither is arresting the bad guy in a mystery. The story of what happens afterwards is another genre. 😉
As someone who reads a lot of romances I have to say that there are two different situations with different expectations (or lack thereof) for me as far as fiction goes. In a historical novel the HEA pretty much requires a wedding or engagement in order to be realistic. I don’t think there were many people 150 years ago who courted indefinately or shacked up. It happened, sure, but not among the “respectable” set about whom historical romances are usually written.
In a contemporary novel any ending in which the couple is happy be it married, dating, living together, engaged, or whatever, qualifies as a HEA for me. I really don’t even need the HEA in order to enjoy a book or find the ending satisfying, but in romance it is always HEA.
In real life I guess I am one of those girls who ultimately needs the ring if my own HEA is going to involve another person, although I don’t really mind if it takes years to get there. I don’t judge anyone who choses not to marry, but I will probably always have that voice in the back of my head that says marriage is necessary for ME if I am going to spend the rest of my life with someone.
The ring in no way guarantees a HEA, believe me, I know. As divorced person I am currently working on being okay with being alone for awhile and creating a HEA for myself with or without a man. It takes work, but I am getting there. I have learned my lesson about letting my own HEA depend upon the actions of another person. THAT is what I would like to see in a romance novel. A HEA for both characters that is enhanced by their togetherness, not dependent upon it. I may have to switch to Chick Lit.
Here’s my basic spiel about HEA: A romance novel IS a romance novel because the core storyline is built around a romantic conflict. The resolution of that conflict is the HEA. You can resolve it however you want, but marriage is a most common resolution simply because in a romance novel, two people have trouble getting/staying together – and marriage is a declaration of the intent to stay together forever.
Karibelle: I have learned my lesson about letting my own HEA depend upon the actions of another person. THAT is what I would like to see in a romance novel. A HEA for both characters that is enhanced by their togetherness, not dependent upon it. I like that sentiment. I’m going to take that to heart.
Beth, I understand what you’re saying, but I think a marriage might feel grafted-on in my story. But mine’s a contemporary, and IIRC, you don’t read contemporaries 😉
sxKitten, you two are currently tops in my most-likely-to-succeed category.
Happy anniversary, Darla!
“There’s even some girl-on-girl action in Fast Women. I shit you not. I would have taken it a good deal farther, but that’s me for you.”
Hey maybe your muse is trying to tell you that Lori, Brad, and ‘Barbarella’ should do a three way?
M
Nah, Brad’s too tall for Barb. Barb likes to dominate her men 😉