Balls and Walnuts
more than you ever wanted to know
Category Archives: asides
Making the email rounds, apparently
but I found it here:
If they had Facebook in Star Wars.
Chortle . . .
D.
Traffic
We left Vegas at 10:10 AM, pulled into Bako at 5:40 PM. ‘Nuff said, but . . . re: driving to Vegas on holiday weekends? Never again. Next time, we fly. Better yet, we figure out how to visit the folks on non-holiday weekends.
How did you spend your holiday weekend? Hollywood icon Kirk Douglas, now 92 years young, spent it with his wife serving dinner to the homeless of Los Angeles. Story and picture here. All the best to the both of them.
More to come, but not tonight. I’m wiped.
D.
Kindness: an ambiguous case study
After rounding on my patient this morning, I had breakfast at a downtown coffee shop. I took a seat at a counter next to a gaunt black gent with a nice wooden cane and a dapper fedora. First thing I noticed, the waitress took my order before his, even though he’d clearly been there before me. When she took his order, I heard him say, “Would I have enough left over for the blueberry muffin?” She told him no, he nodded, and that was that.
It set me to thinking whether I could pay for his breakfast without him knowing. The “without him knowing” part — this wasn’t so much “random act” B.S. but a desire not to embarrass the guy. The cash register was about five feet from me, seven or eight from him. Would he hear me if I explained to the waitress that I wanted to pay my neighbor’s bill, too? I was confident I would finish my breakfast quickly; I always do. Old and bad habit from internship and residency: I bolt down my food.
Before I had much time to consider, the waitress brought over a wrinkled, greasy paper bag and plopped it in front of the man.
“I didn’t want this to go!”
“Take it and leave. You were panhandling our customers so you can’t eat here.”
“This is rude.”
“It’s rude for you to panhandle out front. Our boss says you panhandle here, you can’t eat here. Take it and go.”
He asked to speak to the manager, but the manager wasn’t there. The senior waitress came over.
From the conversation that followed, I learned that one of the customers entering the restaurant had given the waitress at the register some money to cover the guy’s breakfast. So even though his breakfast was bought and paid for, they weren’t allowing him to eat there.
When the waitress told him it was rude of him to panhandle, he said, “It’s never rude to ask for help.” Then he launched into an odd bit about how “all of you are happy to take Obama’s bailouts, but I’m different somehow.” Which I thought was interesting.
After he left, two of the waitresses involved apologized to me. Didn’t help; I still felt like they had handled the situation poorly. What, did they feel like they’d be encouraging him if they let him eat at the counter like a normal human being?
Another woman came in, placed a to go order. They packaged her breakfast in a crisp, non-greasy paper bag. Hmm.
And what about the guy who paid for his breakfast? I understand the logic: “I’m going to pay for his breakfast. I don’t want to give him cash for drugs or alcohol.” On the one hand, the charitable party didn’t have to give the guy money. On the other hand, doesn’t it taint the act if you make the assumption that you have to pay for the guy’s meal, or else he’ll use the money for drugs or booze? Shouldn’t we be treating people with more dignity than that?
I’m not sure what to make of the whole thing. Restaurants do have the right to refuse service, or at least they claim that right. Clearly, the fellow who ponied up the breakfast money put them in a bind. If they refused the money (really the only way to refuse service), they might offend the donor. On the other hand, they wanted him out of there as fast as possible. So they took the money and proceeded to do as little as possible for the older man.
It left me with a bad feeling for the place. I won’t return. This man was well dressed, he didn’t smell, he wasn’t dirty. I would have eaten my breakfast next to him and never suspected he was down on his luck. He wasn’t bothering anyone and it wouldn’t have caused anyone any grief if they had treated him with respect. For that matter, it doesn’t make me think less of an establishment if there are panhandlers outside.
Seems to me there was more than a little vindictiveness in their behavior.
D.
Craigslist again
From the ages of 4 to 11 I was an immigrant potato farmer. I grew up in a migrant fsmily and live a nomadic lifestyle. I’m in a semi-pro all women’s all contact rollerblading league. it’s my passion in life. someday i want to be an olympic bobsledder, which is something i do in my spare time. i own a luge. i’m looking for a special person to put the whipped cream on top.
Hey, I think I’ve seen this woman. Second from the left.
If I were single, I think I’d write back to her,
Small world! From the ages of 4 to 11, and sometimes later, I ate potatoes. I grew up in an immigrant fsmily (well, children of immigrants lolol) and used to watch women’s professional rollerskating on TV. you know those women buitl like halfbacks who’d crash into each other on the turns? That’s the sh!t mama! Don’t know much about bobsledding, but if you’re looking to play “hide the luge”, let me know.
Hmm. Too subtle?
D.
Here’s a new 419 scam!
New spin on an old fraud:
Dear Friend,
I am Mrs. Elizabeth Etters from Iceland, married to Late Engr Brown Etters {PhD} who worked with MULTINATIONAL OIL COMPANY EXXON AS A DRILLING RIG SUPPLIER in Kuwait for 19 years before he died on the 22th August 2008. We were married for twenty four years without a child. He died after a brief illness that lasted for only four days.Before his death, he deposited the sum of USD 2,142,728.00 Dollars with a bank In Canada and this fund is presently with the bank awaiting my disbursement as beneficiary and next of kin to the funds. Recently, my Doctor told me that I would not last for the next Eight months due to cancer problem. Having known my condition I decided to donate this fund to a church, organization or good person that will utilize this money in good faith.
I took this decision because I don’t have any child that will inherit this money. I kept this deposit secret till date, this is why I am taking this decision. I don’t think i will need any telephone communication in this regard because of the confidentiality of this transfer.Upon your reply I shall give you the contact of the bank. I will also issue a letter of authorization to the bank that will prove you the present beneficiary of this money. Reply to my very confidential email address below {lizzy.etters@live.com} as I am sending this from a friend’s email.
Await your responds and God bless you.
Mrs. Elizabeth Etters
Email: lizzy.etters@live.com
Waddya think, should I take the money? She is a “dear friend,” after all.
D.
That’ll exercise you
Here’s a screenshot of a discussion thread that is tres meta and delightfully absurd. Enjoy.
Meanwhile, we’re trying to figure out the insanity of California PE requirements. I really need to get Karen to blog about this, since she did the research today. But as best we can tell, one parting gift from the Bush Administration is a physical fitness test designed to train millions of boot camp-ready teens.
Gotta go. Upset stomach.
D.