Balls and Walnuts
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So hard to look cool at a 4-year-old’s birthday party
But we try. Jake almost pulls it off; if only I could get him to wear Levi’s instead of shorts . . .
But I’m just some old bald guy in a denim jacket.
I used to wonder how my parents could handle the fact that their kids were aging. We don’t look a thing like we did back in the 60s and 70s. Well, I don’t. But as Jake gets older, I’ve come to realize that for the parents, it’s easy. For the kids it’s a little harder (it would be easier, I suspect, if I saw my folks more often, so that the changes would not seem quite so saltatory*).
Worst of all is handling how I’ve changed. I’m not sure I’ll ever get used to it. My own self-image always seems to be about 20 years out of whack with the current reality.
Tomorrow: I’ll put together bookshelves. Assembly is always challenging to a person who is offended by the idea that left and right are somehow different.
D.
This is going to be AWESOME!
What Bioshock did for Ayn Rand’s objectivism, Bioshock Infinite promises to do for American exceptionalism:
The primary setting of BioShock Infinite is a city suspended in the air by giant blimps and balloons, called “Columbia”. Unlike the secret development of the underwater city of Rapture, Columbia was proudly boasted by the American government when launched in 1900, centralized on the idea of American exceptionalism; the reveal trailer for the game alludes to the 1893 Worlds Fair which is historically considered to be the emergence of American exceptionalism. Between its launch and the game’s events, the well-armed city became involved in an “international incident”, and the location of the city was soon lost from everyone else. Like Rapture, Columbia is considered a failed utopia, with signs present suggesting a theocratic government taking control at some point, and similar racial-purification concepts such as nazism and xenophobia.
And the artwork looks appealing, too.
Slated for release in 2012, which means 2013. If we’re lucky.
Hell, I’m still waiting for Diablo III . . .
D.
What blogs are good for
For Jake’s World History class, his first assignment is to generate 10 important dates from world history and 10 important dates from his personal history*. The world history bit is easy, but personal history? We’d be lost without this blog.
First class, the teacher lectured to them about the importance of history. What a waste of a day. I know, I know — not all kids are created equally, and for some, justification like this is necessary. But honestly, I’m not impressed. Add to that the recycled chestnut, “Those who don’t remember history are condemned yatta yatta yatta**,” and I’m REALLY not impressed. I’m starting to recall how uninspired most of my high school classes were.
D.
* Because, dontcha know, DATES are so incredibly important to history.
** Consequence of a 1970s Hebrew School education — we heard this one ad nauseam.
Currently reading . . .
The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time by Mark Haddon. Interesting thus far . . . it’s a murder mystery with a dog as the victim, a 15-year-old with Asperger’s syndrome as the sleuth. I’m not sure how well this novel gets inside the Asperger’s mind, but the arguments in the comments at Amazon suggest that even the Asperger’s parents are undecided on that one.
While on vacation, I finished Cormac McCarthy’s Blood Meridian. Books like Blood Meridian always make me doubt my intellect. Am I too dense to figure this one out? Is the author being too obscure? I get the basic idea (evil is real, and eternal), I understand Holden (the judge), but why is he a judge? And what the hell is up with that epilogue?
I also finished Vernor Vinge’s Rainbows End (note, the lack of apostrophe is intentional), in which the author created a believable near-future and populated it with a number of one- and sometimes two-dimensional characters. I’d had high hopes for the novel’s main character, Robert Gu, a celebrated poet whose decline into Alzheimer’s is rolled back by the miracles of modern medicine. Gu had been the sort of poet laureate who is loved by his fans but hated by everyone who knows him. As he sheds the last shadows of dementia, his old nasty personality returns. Does he make good, does he become a decent human being? SPOILER yes, but is his transformation believable? Not in the least. Add to that an ending that’s a clear setup for a sequel, one that leaves way too many questions unanswered*, and you are left with an all too common question when assessing hard SF: do all the clever ideas make up for the novel’s other shortcomings?
And then in desperation, with nothing left to read, I picked up the second Bartimaeus novel, The Golem’s Eye, which Jake had just finished. (I finished it earlier today, which is why I downloaded Curious Incident to my Nook.) If you’re not familiar with the Bartimaeus trilogy, you’ve missed a good one. I think Kate turned me onto this, if I remember correctly. It’s kiddy lit, but fairly dark stuff, certainly darker than the Harry Potter saga. The second novel isn’t as good as the first or third (as usual for a trilogy) but still had lots of good snark from our favorite djinn.
How about you folks — read anything good lately? I’d have to say that True Grit still ranks as the best thing I’ve read lately, but Curious Incident may give it a run for its money.
D.
*Including, most unforgivably, the identity of the antagonist.
Back to school
And it starts all over again:
The repeated cattle-prod jolts to get him out of bed in the morning (you have to be cruel to be kind).
The endless peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. Lunch consists of a piece of fruit, PB&J, yogurt, a protein bar. Sometimes for the sake of variety I’ll substitute cheese and crackers for the sandwich. Jake tells me that his sack lunches are the healthiest ones he sees.
The last minute homework. Props to Jake tonight, though: it’s only 9:30 PM and he’s almost done with his Theology assignment. He had to buy a Bible this year, and his teacher wants the kids to decorate their Bible so that they’ll develop an emotional attachment to it. Jake’s decorating his with pictures of Jupiter’s moons, a portrait of Galileo, and some of Da Vinci’s drawings.
The near-heat stroke every time the PE teacher makes the kids run a mile in supra-100 degree weather.
Last year, there was the hair-pulling (if I had hair) over his insipid honors English class. This year’s curriculum looks a little better, but once again, I did a fine job second-guessing: he’s already done The Odyssey and Macbeth.
But oy, these art project assignments. What special hells do his teachers have in store for us this year?
D.
Nine reasons to watch Ninja Warrior
My family — certainly Karen and I, and to a lesser degree Jake — are addicted to G4TV’s Ninja Warrior. If you’ve avoided Ninja Warrior thinking that Japanese game shows are ridiculous confections wherein contestants have T-bone steaks strapped to their foreheads and are threatened by a hungry monitor lizard, or where they must demonstrate their proficiency at speed-eating a dozen linked sausages and inhaling spaghetti through their noses, then you’re doing yourself a disservice. Ninja Warrior is something altogether different; I would argue it’s the ultimate sport.
Here’s the setup: there are two Sasuke (Ninja Warrior) competitions per year. Each begins with 100 contestants, who progress through (or are eliminated by) four stages, with several obstacles per stage. The obstacles require varied physical skills, such as upper body strength, agility, balance, and speed. Even in Stage One, many of the obstacles are so insanely difficult that most of the 100 contestants are eliminated. It’s not uncommon for no contestant to proceed to Stage Four.
Now, this is a ninja warrior:
Primary obstacle here is getting past her guns.
but unfortunately she’s not one of the competitors. (Women do compete, but sadly even most of the athletes are undone by the first stage. Many of Ninja Warrior’s obstacles favor brawn over agility and balance.) Here’s a real Ninja Warrior — rising star Yuuji Urushihara.
He’s not an Olympic athlete, although many have competed on Ninja Warrior. He’s not a rock climber or a weight-lifter or a runner, as far as I know. He’s a shoe salesman — and that’s one of the main reasons to watch Ninja Warrior. But I’m getting ahead of myself. First, watch a bit to get a better idea of what’s involved:
I defy you to watch the Pipe Slider (beginning at around 3:59) and not squirm.
Need more reasons to watch Ninja Warrior? Read on.
Best. Campaign commercial. Ever.
Often I wonder why scandal-plagued Senator Vitter is still in office. Do people wink away extreme kink in Louisiana? But as the following ad points out, sex with prostitutes is, well . . . I don’t want to steal their thunder.
D.
Vintage TV
We spent the last hour treating Jake to one of our favorite examples of 1960s television: The Outer Limits’ “Controlled Experiment,” featuring Carroll O’Connor and Barry Morse as Martian agents Deimos and Phobos, tasked with understanding the uniquely human art of murder, and Grace Lee Whitney (y’know, Yeoman Rand?) as the would-be murderess. “Controlled Experiment” was probably the best satire of science fiction prior to the advent of Futurama, The Simpsons, South Park, and Family Guy.
You can watch the full video here, but it’s also available without commercial interruption through NetFlix. Enjoy.
Jake had his sophomore year orientation today; school starts tomorrow. They saw fit to lecture the kids for a solid hour on the evils of sex-texting and e-bullying. My son, so wise in the ways of most things digital, is a backward child when it comes to instant messaging. He’s our kid (neither one of us ever figured out how to use the IM feature of our phones). So of course he tuned it all out, or as much of it as he could.
They also blithered on about relationships. There was some sort of diagram where the inner circles represented closer relationships, the outer circles more distant relationships. Outermost were strangers, second-to-innermost were “soul mates” (how PC of them! I would have expected “husband or wife”). Innermost? God.
My atheist son tuned out that bit, too.
And I had always thought orientations were about giving you your locker combo and berating you about the dress code.
D.
Our vacation in food
Somehow, I managed not to gain much weight on this vacation — only three pounds, which I’ve already shed. Not quite sure how that happened, but as I didn’t exercise all week, I suspect my weight gain was partly compensated by loss of muscle mass.
We flew from Bako to San Francisco, thence to Crescent City. SFO has a decent eating court. Expensive, but decent. We usually have dim sum, but this time Jake had the clam chowder sourdough bowl from Le Boudin (isn’t that what it’s called?) and I think Karen got some kind of sourdough sandwich with cranberries and turkey. Not bad (I always get whatever she can’t finish.) And I had some sweet and sour pork from the dim sum place.
Jayna and her pasta
Once we got to Crescent City, Karen didn’t feel like eating anything, so Jake and I went to that place at the south end of town that’s only open in the summer. We both had scampi, which was quite good, but nothing’s ever as good as the FIRST TIME, which was scampi at a North Beach place called La Pergola’s. Even scampi at La Pergola’s the second time wasn’t as good as scampi at La Pergola’s the first time. Go figure.
The next day in CC, Karen was still under the weather, so Jake and I had dinner with my former receptionist. We went to Thai House. If you ever drive through CC, there are two can’t-fail restaurants you should check out: Thai House and Sea West, which is also Thai. Thai House also serves great Vietnamese food, and Sea West does some decent American cuisine. Thai House was great as usual, but I regret not taking Jake to Sea West. The proprietor, Koon, has known Jake since he was not-quite-three. I don’t think she’s seen him since he hit puberty, and I’m sure she’d get a kick out of it.
An arch rock at Harris Beach (Brookings, Oregon)
To get to Seattle, we had to fly back to SFO, and then we took a direct flight to Seattle. We came into Sea-Tac kinda late but our friends had cupcakes waiting for us. The next night, we went to a Korean restaurant and indulged in pickles and kalbi beef, pork, and squid. I can’t eat beef so I scarfed down the pork and squid and pickles. What are those pickles called — you know, the spread they put out at Korean restaurants? I crave that stuff. Usually, my favorite dish is the little dried fishies that are part sweet, part peppery, and part salty, but their little fishies weren’t up to my usual standards. They had glorious kim chee, though, and decent fried and marinated tofu.
The next night we had a good meal at a waterfront restaurant near our friends’ house, and our last night, we had sushi. At the waterfront restaurant, I had crab cakes for dinner, and Karen had fish. Can’t remember what everyone else ordered although I think Jake had a burger and other people had that fish dish. And of course Jayna (above) had pasta.
No four-star restaurants, but we still ate better than we had in a long, long while.
D.
Vacation pix
I’m going to keep posting photos here until I get tired of it . . . stay tuned.
Stout Grove redwoods
There’s more.