Couldn’t help myself.
I’ve added nine more links to my ‘Favorites’ list. What can we learn from this?
- I’m overly fond of my own writing.
- I’m obsessed with love, sex, and Jacqueline Kim.
- Yeah, that’s about it.
D.
In case you’re wondering what’s up . . .
T-lady has been reading my novel. Ain’t she a sweetheart? Since it’s humongous, she wants to read it all in one shot rather than come back to it every few days. At the rate she’s reading, she should be finished by tomorrow, and back to blogging by Saturday.
Doug (Mr. T-lady)
Curses, Tarantula Lady!
My lovely wife, Tarantula Lady, has made it 2/3 of the way through my manuscript. I’m still shy of the 1/3 mark. Last night, she announced I had major problems.
Sul, the main female protagonist, has motivation issues. As written, the story has her traipsing off into the wilderness to find someone who may or may not exist (and, even if he does exist, there’s no guarantee he can help Sul) when three of her children are missing. Her ostensible reason for doing this: it’s her only way to get leverage on the bad guys and thereby help her family — MAYBE.
Karen took issue with this.
We brainstormed for over an hour and succeeded in fixing the problem. I’m going to (1) take care of one of those missing kids right off the bat; (2) give a much better explanation why she can’t go after the other two; and (3) give her a far stronger reason for seeking out that fellow in the wilderness. Better yet, these changes will take care of what I’ve felt all along to be one of the weakest aspects of the climax: I pulled all my major characters back to one location for the big showdown. Thanks to the changes above, Sul and Tui (my male lead) now have a far better reason for converging on the same location.
Bottom line, though: I have scenes to axe, others to modify, and others to create from scratch. I’m looking forward to it, though, because I know the end result will be a much stronger climax.
Have I mentioned my vow to write a better outline, next time around?
D.
PS: Surgery today and surgery committee meeting this evening, so this be all my bloggin’ for today, my droogs.
Hateful Heroes and Heroines
I thought it might be fun to bring the rest of you in on my discussion with Pat regarding unsympathetic protagonists. (See comments to this post.)
It’s not tough making your protag likable and sympathetic. Long ago, I read some advice on this: when you introduce your protag, either (A) have him tell a joke, or (B) put him in an embarrassing or humiliating situation.
The joke. It had damn well better be funny, and not annoying-funny, either. You want your reader to like your protag, okay? Also, by ‘tell a joke’, I don’t mean, “So a rabbi, a priest, and a bowl of guacamole walk into a bar.” ‘A joke’ in this context means anything that will make the reader smile. Chandler’s introduction of Phillip Marlowe in the beginning of The Big Sleep is a good example. In first person POV, Marlowe describes what he’s wearing, and if you have any imagination you’ll be grinning by the end of that description. Also, think about how rapidly Mark Twain establishes rapport between the reader and Huck in the beginning of Huck Finn.
Embarrassment. Preferably, this should be a situation a reader can easily relate to. The first example which comes to my mind: from the Analog issue I recently reviewed, Richard Lovett’s “Zero Tolerance”. Lovett opens the story by having his middle-aged protag dressed in a Harry Potter outfit for a Halloween costume party. He’s turned away at the door because he doesn’t have ID and can’t prove his age (even though he’s old enough to pass for Dumbledore — and that’s Lovett’s joke, not mine. He’s using both techniques to build empathy). Now he has to roam the city in a silly Harry Potter outfit.
I’ll add more examples of this in the Comments, when I remember ’em.
I’d also add (C) put your protag in a situation which highlights one or more of her better traits.
Here’s how Lizzy is introduced in Pride and Prejudice. Lizzy’s mom is talking to Lizzy’s dad :
“… Lizzy is not a bit better than the others; and I am sure she is not half so handsome as Jane, nor half so good humoured as Lydia. But you are always giving her the preference.”
“They have none of them much to recommend them,” replied he; “they are all silly and ignorant like other girls; but Lizzy has something more of quickness than her sisters.”
Sure, this is thinly veiled ‘telling’, but it succeeds nonetheless in building sympathy for all the Bennett sisters (What do you mean, ‘none of them much to recommend them’ — what kind of father is that?) and Lizzy in particular. We’re also told that Lizzy is ‘quick’. Soon enough, we see that quick wit in action.
To cross genres (big time), think about the ‘Deliverator’ opening in Snowcrash. (Amazon has their ‘look inside’ function enabled, in case you’re interested.) Stephenson introduces Hiro Protagonist as a determined man of action with a sense of humor to burn. Hiro’s focus on delivering his pizza before the deadline tells us all we need to know.
That said, I confess I never felt too much empathy or sympathy for Hiro. His smugness put me off. The female lead, YT, had a lot more going for her in the empathy department.
One last point. (D) You can get a lot of mileage if your character appears full of mystery. Here, I’m thinking about the opening to Conrad’s Heart of Darkness. Here’s how Conrad introduces Marlow:
Marlow sat cross-legged right aft, leaning against the mizzenmast. He had sunken cheeks, a yellow complexion, a straight back, an ascetic aspect, and, with his arms dropped, the palms of hands outwards, resembled an idol.
What’s the first thing out of his mouth?
“And this also,†said Marlow suddenly, “has been one of the dark places of the earth.â€
They’re on the Thames, for cryin’ out loud. The last thing the stodgy Brits on the boat with Marlow want to hear is a comparison of London to the Congo — yet that’s the whole point. What the hell is Marlow thinking? What’s on his mind? Out with it, already!
Okay, I’ve blathered on too long. (I haven’t even gotten to Janet Evanovich’s introduction of Stephanie Plum in One for the Money.) Now it’s your turn.
D.
Review of Analog, October 2005
Here’s the link to my review of Analog, October 2005. If that glitches for some reason, you can always go straight to Tangent.
D.
Why I won’t be sleeping tonight
“The fudge is the life.”
Bela Lugosi, Dracula (1931)
En route from the bedroom to the dishwasher, Karen’s not-quite-finished dessert became a bit lighter. In eight or nine paces, I, Diet Boy, managed to polish off several teaspoons of molten Dreyer’s Chocolate Ice Cream and a heaping congealed teaspoon of Mrs. Richardson’s Hot Fudge.
Let’s take a closer look at theobromine.
Do ya see it yet? Do ya? The structures are awfully similar. One could, with little effort, imagine a genetic code in which caffeine and theobromine are key players. Imagine further that we were incapable of synthesizing these compounds (which is, in fact, true: our bodies don’t make caffeine or theobromine, more’s the pity). Do you see where I’m headed with this?
Theobromine and caffeine would be vitamins — essential nutrients we cannot synthesize for ourselves.
Chocolate and coffee would be the bottom tier of the food pyramid. One could live on One-a-Day Vitamins and tiramisu.
Perhaps I had more of a point when I first got rolling, but isn’t that point enough?
D.
On a sharper note,
I tracked down the submission guidelines for Tor Books, and I happily note that they’ll accept unagented submissions. They also give a 4 to 6 month turnaround on such submissions.
I’m tempted to send in my ‘first three chapters plus synopsis’ even though I am still editing, but I just know this sort of amateurish move would bite me in the ass.
Patience . . . patience . . .
Why Tor? Cuz they published John C. Wright’s The Golden Age, another MEGA novel that they had to divide up into three books. So they shouldn’t cringe at my 300K-word tome, right?
D.
The Top 100
Your morning throwaway. If you skip this blog, all you’ll miss are a handful of so-so jokes.
I saw this over at THIS!Christine‘s blog, and it looks like fun. Here are AFI’s Top 100 films. I’ve bold-faced the ones I’ve seen, with comments as the mood strikes me. Here we go!
1. CITIZEN KANE (1941) I first saw this in college because I thought it would help me get into Wendy’s pants. No go. So: does it deserve the number one spot? Naw. It’s an interesting experience, and I did base one of my characters off Kane, so I guess I don’t totally hate the movie.
2. CASABLANCA (1942) I based a whole book off this one (Karakoram, which may never see the light of day). That should tell you something.
3. THE GODFATHER (1972) Leave the gun. Take the canoli. (Oh, how I love that line.)
4. GONE WITH THE WIND (1939) Watch it, as I first did, with a room full of lesbians. You’ll never want to see it any other way.
5. LAWRENCE OF ARABIA (1962) Seven Pillars of Wisdom without the homosexuality. On a serious note, this is one of my favorites. This is Peter O’Toole’s best performance ever.
6. THE WIZARD OF OZ (1939) A film to see for cultural literacy’s sake only. I can’t see any other redeeming features.
7. THE GRADUATE (1967) Why couldn’t I have had a Mrs. Robinson?
8. ON THE WATERFRONT (1954)
9. SCHINDLER’S LIST (1993)
10. SINGIN’ IN THE RAIN (1952)
11. IT’S A WONDERFUL LIFE (1946) Saw it. Don’t remember it.
12. SUNSET BOULEVARD (1950) This one is FUN from the first scene.
13. THE BRIDGE ON THE RIVER KWAI (1957) Easily one of my favorite war movies.
14. SOME LIKE IT HOT (1959)
15. STAR WARS (1977) You already know how I feel about this one.
16. ALL ABOUT EVE (1950) Didn’t make a big impression.
17. THE AFRICAN QUEEN (1951) Ditto.
18. PSYCHO (1960) Tritto. Boring, actually.
19. CHINATOWN (1974) I love so much about this movie it ain’t funny. Let’s start with Nicholson’s line, “I cut myself shaving.”
20. ONE FLEW OVER THE CUCKOO’S NEST (1975) Saw it with GF v1.0 in high school, and I’ve never watched it since. Neither one of us was impressed.
21. THE GRAPES OF WRATH (1940)
22. 2001: A SPACE ODYSSEY (1968) Oh, don’t get me fighting with my wife again over this. I thought it was a snore.
23. THE MALTESE FALCON (1941) Own it and love it. Hey, I subscribe to the Rara Avis list serve, so that oughta tell you something.
24. RAGING BULL (1980) Saw it once, never again.
25. E.T. THE EXTRA-TERRESTRIAL (1982) I liked it when I first saw it. That was before I developed an allergy to Steven Spielberg.
26. DR. STRANGELOVE (1964) OH YEAH! Put this one on my top 5 list.
27. BONNIE AND CLYDE (1967) Feh. Like I’m interested in some hood’s sexual problems?
28. APOCALYPSE NOW (1979) Saw it with GF v1.0 in high school. At the time (and now), I felt it compared unfavorably with Heart of Darkness. Judging it on its own merits, it’s not bad.
29. MR. SMITH GOES TO WASHINGTON (1939)
30. THE TREASURE OF THE SIERRA MADRE (1948) I don’t need to show you no steenking badges. (I love this movie, but I probably just misquoted it.)
31. ANNIE HALL (1977) Hmm. I think I saw this one with GF v1.0, too. I liked Christopher Walken’s schtick, and I loved the bit where the kids in 1st grade are telling what they did when they grew up. Surreal. Since 1980-something, I’ve been allergic to Woody Allen.
32. THE GODFATHER PART II (1974) Great stuff. You broke my heart, Fredo! And don’t miss the fan fic-turned-movie, The Freshman, with Brando playing Don Corleone yet again.
33. HIGH NOON (1952)
34. TO KILL A MOCKINGBIRD (1962) Strangely, this made little impression on me.
35. IT HAPPENED ONE NIGHT (1934)
36. MIDNIGHT COWBOY (1969) I’ve only seen bits of this.
37. THE BEST YEARS OF OUR LIVES (1946)
38. DOUBLE INDEMNITY (1944) Read the book.
39. DOCTOR ZHIVAGO (1965) Chick flick. I don’t get it.
40. NORTH BY NORTHWEST (1959) Not bad, as Hitchcock goes.
41. WEST SIDE STORY (1961)
42. REAR WINDOW (1954) One of my favorite Hitchcock films.
43. KING KONG (1933)
44. THE BIRTH OF A NATION (1915) And this is on the list why?
45. A STREETCAR NAMED DESIRE (1951)
46. A CLOCKWORK ORANGE (1971) See it, as I did for the first time, with a half dozen feminists. Remember to rave about it afterwards in front of them. (I love this movie, can you tell?)
47. TAXI DRIVER (1976) Clinically interesting flick. Travis Bickle descends into paranoid schizophrenia. Why doesn’t anyone ever point that out?
48. JAWS (1975) A hateful, silly movie.
49. SNOW WHITE AND THE SEVEN DWARFS (1937)
50. BUTCH CASSIDY AND THE SUNDANCE KID (1969) Hey, I stole a scene from this for my novel-in-progress. I love this movie.
51. THE PHILADELPHIA STORY (1940)
52. FROM HERE TO ETERNITY (1953) Sand does not make a great lubricant. Nuff said.
53. AMADEUS (1984) Silly laugh, silly movie.
54. ALL QUIET ON THE WESTERN FRONT (1930)
55. THE SOUND OF MUSIC (1965) Aw, shut your von Trapp.
56. M*A*S*H (1970) I barely remember this.
57. THE THIRD MAN (1949)
58. FANTASIA (1940) Only worthwhile so you can better appreciate the jokes in Allegro non Troppo.
59. REBEL WITHOUT A CAUSE (1955) I like the Griffith Park scenes. Reminds me of my childhood. I also enjoy seeing Mr. Howell in a frilly apron. How much more obvious can you get?
60. RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK (1981) I liked it pre-Spielberg allergy.
61. VERTIGO (1958) Feh. As an ear, nose, and throat doctor, I object.
62. TOOTSIE (1982) Double feh. Good concept, lousy result.
63. STAGECOACH (1939)
64. CLOSE ENCOUNTERS OF THE THIRD KIND (1977) Major league FEH! The worst first contact story ever.
65. THE SILENCE OF THE LAMBS (1991) If you haven’t seen the original Lecktor movie, Manhunter, see it. (Yes, that’s the original spelling.) Brian Cox is 100 times creepier than that scenery-bulimic, Anthony Hopkins, and Tom Noonan’s Frances Dollarhyde achieves levels of poignancy unmatched by any villain in any movie EVER. Name me someone who even comes close.
66. NETWORK (1976) Not very memorable.
67. THE MANCHURIAN CANDIDATE (1962) I have to admit, Angela Lansbury’s character inspired my novel’s #1 baddy. Even Frank Sinatra couldn’t bring this movie down. The movie that inspired about a dozen Outer Limits teleplays.
68. AN AMERICAN IN PARIS (1951)
69. SHANE (1953)
70. THE FRENCH CONNECTION (1971) A highly overrated chase scene. Feh. Hackman has done much better movies. Why is this movie on the list?
71. FORREST GUMP (1994) And why is this movie on the list? A film about an idiot?
72. BEN-HUR (1959)
73. WUTHERING HEIGHTS (1939)
74. THE GOLD RUSH (1925)
75. DANCES WITH WOLVES (1990)
76. CITY LIGHTS (1931)
77. AMERICAN GRAFFITI (1973) Cool movie, but I remember Lords of Flatbush better.
78. ROCKY (1976) I can’t believe I saw this.
79. THE DEER HUNTER (1978)
80. THE WILD BUNCH (1969)
81. MODERN TIMES (1936)
82. GIANT (1956)
83. PLATOON (1986)
84. FARGO (1996) I love William Macy in this.
85. DUCK SOUP (1933) Why aren’t there more comedies on this list?
86. MUTINY ON THE BOUNTY (1935)
87. FRANKENSTEIN (1931) More brains! Fine movie, but Young Frankenstein is better.
88. EASY RIDER (1969)
89. PATTON (1970) Dove that I am, I still find this flick compelling. My dad took me to see it when I was eight!
90. THE JAZZ SINGER (1927)
91. MY FAIR LADY (1964)
92. A PLACE IN THE SUN (1951)
93. THE APARTMENT (1960) I have a dim memory of this one.
94. GOODFELLAS (1990) Ditto.
95. PULP FICTION (1994) Every generation needs its Deliverance. This is ours. Squeal like a pig!
96. THE SEARCHERS (1956) One of my favorite Westerns, but there have been better ones. Why isn’t Sergio Leone represented on this list? Once Upon a Time in America. Need I say more? Okay: High Plains Drifter.
97. BRINGING UP BABY (1938)
98. UNFORGIVEN (1992) See my comment to #96. Not a bad film, but not on my top 100 list.
99. GUESS WHO’S COMING TO DINNER (1967) What’s up with Sydney Poitier’s girlfriend in this movie? Is she brain dead? Aside from that, I’ve always considered this movie a guilty pleasure.
100. YANKEE DOODLE DANDY (1942)
The Gorjun is Free
I imagine that one of the coolest things about being an editor is the power to rename another author’s work. Not that I liked the story’s original title, “All Change,” but I kept hoping we would find a title that would make me do a little dance.
Oh, well. I can live with “The Gorjun is Free”, and I really have nothing better to suggest to Continuum’s editor, Bill Rupp. I’m just tickled that things are finally moving forward.
TBC update: first pass 25% complete. Here, too, things are moving forward. (Karen’s recommendations: The Marx brothers skit gets dropped. Butch and Sundance stay. Sul’s near-rape by beak-builder Biff Bols gets dropped. And that’s a shame, since I dearly loved it when she kneed him in the crotch. Still, it does nothing to further the story, and that whole sequence takes a LONG time to play out.)
Sorry today’s post is so incoherent. I worked hard on my Analog review for Tangent and had no time left for creative blogging. Or, for that matter, cooking dinner.
Hey Debi: remember Bare Rump’s last will and testament? Oh, how I love that bit. That, of course, stays.
More tomorrow.
D.
Editing update, and a snippet
6 Reasons for my present brain-fry:
- I’ve begun line-editing my manuscript. Status: 12.5% done.
- Four loads of laundry.
- Two loads for the dishwasher.
- Cooked a ham, candied yams, and eggplant parmigiano.
- Went to the gym. Thanks to the summer cold, I’m out of shape again, but I still managed a 25-minute workout.
- Trip to the grocery store and drug store.
Here’s my editing strategy. Never having edited a novel before, I can’t tell you if these are bright ideas or not.
- Run through the text, correcting all major errors and omissions I’ve thought of during the writing process. DONE.
- First hard copy edit. Catch all the little shit, and the big shit, too. (Such as Karen’s comment from a few minutes ago: “Why don’t the Kirbys just return to their lander when the mugwasps fly in?” Um . . . because I really, really want them to head down into the spider caves?) 12.5% complete.
- Second run-through on the text, this time making the changes in computero which I’ve penciled in at step 2. That’s when I’ll be adding and deleting scenes.
Since I do much of the coarse editing with the very first writing, the manuscript is already in pretty good shape. Mostly, I need to fix consistency issues. For example: Brakans are birds (sort of). They do not sleep in beds. They do not use pillows. That sort of thing.
And now, because you’ve been good, here’s your snippet for the day. This comes at the end of Chapter Six, when Commander Brek has successfully recruited all forty Colonel Kirbys from the master-creator of synthetic humans, Whizzer Ugh. (Colonel Kirby was John Wayne’s character in The Green Berets.) Jeannie is another synthetic human modeled after Barbara Eden, circa I Dream of Jeannie.
Thirty-nine Kirbys filed into the choppers while one remained behind, lingering in Jeannie’s embrace. The two lovers’ eyes were locked, and he rubbed the small of her back forcefully with both hands, as if he might join her forever to him. When the lieutenant blew his whistle, this last Kirby pulled himself from Jeannie’s arms and marched to the nearest chopper. She crumpled to her knees, her anguished cries muted by the choppers’ mounting roar.
Campy melodrama ;o)
D.
PS: Beth has something on her mind. Please, for the love of God, don’t tell her where I live.