The Top 100

Your morning throwaway. If you skip this blog, all you’ll miss are a handful of so-so jokes.

I saw this over at THIS!Christine‘s blog, and it looks like fun. Here are AFI’s Top 100 films. I’ve bold-faced the ones I’ve seen, with comments as the mood strikes me. Here we go!

1. CITIZEN KANE (1941) I first saw this in college because I thought it would help me get into Wendy’s pants. No go. So: does it deserve the number one spot? Naw. It’s an interesting experience, and I did base one of my characters off Kane, so I guess I don’t totally hate the movie.

2. CASABLANCA (1942) I based a whole book off this one (Karakoram, which may never see the light of day). That should tell you something.

3. THE GODFATHER (1972) Leave the gun. Take the canoli. (Oh, how I love that line.)

4. GONE WITH THE WIND (1939) Watch it, as I first did, with a room full of lesbians. You’ll never want to see it any other way.

5. LAWRENCE OF ARABIA (1962) Seven Pillars of Wisdom without the homosexuality. On a serious note, this is one of my favorites. This is Peter O’Toole’s best performance ever.

6. THE WIZARD OF OZ (1939) A film to see for cultural literacy’s sake only. I can’t see any other redeeming features.

7. THE GRADUATE (1967) Why couldn’t I have had a Mrs. Robinson?

8. ON THE WATERFRONT (1954)

9. SCHINDLER’S LIST (1993)

10. SINGIN’ IN THE RAIN (1952)

11. IT’S A WONDERFUL LIFE (1946) Saw it. Don’t remember it.

12. SUNSET BOULEVARD (1950) This one is FUN from the first scene.

13. THE BRIDGE ON THE RIVER KWAI (1957) Easily one of my favorite war movies.

14. SOME LIKE IT HOT (1959)

15. STAR WARS (1977) You already know how I feel about this one.

16. ALL ABOUT EVE (1950) Didn’t make a big impression.

17. THE AFRICAN QUEEN (1951) Ditto.

18. PSYCHO (1960) Tritto. Boring, actually.

19. CHINATOWN (1974) I love so much about this movie it ain’t funny. Let’s start with Nicholson’s line, “I cut myself shaving.”

20. ONE FLEW OVER THE CUCKOO’S NEST (1975) Saw it with GF v1.0 in high school, and I’ve never watched it since. Neither one of us was impressed.

21. THE GRAPES OF WRATH (1940)

22. 2001: A SPACE ODYSSEY (1968) Oh, don’t get me fighting with my wife again over this. I thought it was a snore.

23. THE MALTESE FALCON (1941) Own it and love it. Hey, I subscribe to the Rara Avis list serve, so that oughta tell you something.

24. RAGING BULL (1980) Saw it once, never again.

25. E.T. THE EXTRA-TERRESTRIAL (1982) I liked it when I first saw it. That was before I developed an allergy to Steven Spielberg.

26. DR. STRANGELOVE (1964) OH YEAH! Put this one on my top 5 list.

27. BONNIE AND CLYDE (1967) Feh. Like I’m interested in some hood’s sexual problems?

28. APOCALYPSE NOW (1979) Saw it with GF v1.0 in high school. At the time (and now), I felt it compared unfavorably with Heart of Darkness. Judging it on its own merits, it’s not bad.

29. MR. SMITH GOES TO WASHINGTON (1939)

30. THE TREASURE OF THE SIERRA MADRE (1948) I don’t need to show you no steenking badges. (I love this movie, but I probably just misquoted it.)

31. ANNIE HALL (1977) Hmm. I think I saw this one with GF v1.0, too. I liked Christopher Walken’s schtick, and I loved the bit where the kids in 1st grade are telling what they did when they grew up. Surreal. Since 1980-something, I’ve been allergic to Woody Allen.

32. THE GODFATHER PART II (1974) Great stuff. You broke my heart, Fredo! And don’t miss the fan fic-turned-movie, The Freshman, with Brando playing Don Corleone yet again.

33. HIGH NOON (1952)

34. TO KILL A MOCKINGBIRD (1962) Strangely, this made little impression on me.

35. IT HAPPENED ONE NIGHT (1934)

36. MIDNIGHT COWBOY (1969) I’ve only seen bits of this.

37. THE BEST YEARS OF OUR LIVES (1946)

38. DOUBLE INDEMNITY (1944) Read the book.

39. DOCTOR ZHIVAGO (1965) Chick flick. I don’t get it.

40. NORTH BY NORTHWEST (1959) Not bad, as Hitchcock goes.

41. WEST SIDE STORY (1961)

42. REAR WINDOW (1954) One of my favorite Hitchcock films.

43. KING KONG (1933)

44. THE BIRTH OF A NATION (1915) And this is on the list why?

45. A STREETCAR NAMED DESIRE (1951)

46. A CLOCKWORK ORANGE (1971) See it, as I did for the first time, with a half dozen feminists. Remember to rave about it afterwards in front of them. (I love this movie, can you tell?)

47. TAXI DRIVER (1976) Clinically interesting flick. Travis Bickle descends into paranoid schizophrenia. Why doesn’t anyone ever point that out?

48. JAWS (1975) A hateful, silly movie.

49. SNOW WHITE AND THE SEVEN DWARFS (1937)

50. BUTCH CASSIDY AND THE SUNDANCE KID (1969) Hey, I stole a scene from this for my novel-in-progress. I love this movie.

51. THE PHILADELPHIA STORY (1940)

52. FROM HERE TO ETERNITY (1953) Sand does not make a great lubricant. Nuff said.

53. AMADEUS (1984) Silly laugh, silly movie.

54. ALL QUIET ON THE WESTERN FRONT (1930)

55. THE SOUND OF MUSIC (1965) Aw, shut your von Trapp.

56. M*A*S*H (1970) I barely remember this.

57. THE THIRD MAN (1949)

58. FANTASIA (1940) Only worthwhile so you can better appreciate the jokes in Allegro non Troppo.

59. REBEL WITHOUT A CAUSE (1955) I like the Griffith Park scenes. Reminds me of my childhood. I also enjoy seeing Mr. Howell in a frilly apron. How much more obvious can you get?

60. RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK (1981) I liked it pre-Spielberg allergy.

61. VERTIGO (1958) Feh. As an ear, nose, and throat doctor, I object.

62. TOOTSIE (1982) Double feh. Good concept, lousy result.

63. STAGECOACH (1939)

64. CLOSE ENCOUNTERS OF THE THIRD KIND (1977) Major league FEH! The worst first contact story ever.

65. THE SILENCE OF THE LAMBS (1991) If you haven’t seen the original Lecktor movie, Manhunter, see it. (Yes, that’s the original spelling.) Brian Cox is 100 times creepier than that scenery-bulimic, Anthony Hopkins, and Tom Noonan’s Frances Dollarhyde achieves levels of poignancy unmatched by any villain in any movie EVER. Name me someone who even comes close.

66. NETWORK (1976) Not very memorable.

67. THE MANCHURIAN CANDIDATE (1962) I have to admit, Angela Lansbury’s character inspired my novel’s #1 baddy. Even Frank Sinatra couldn’t bring this movie down. The movie that inspired about a dozen Outer Limits teleplays.

68. AN AMERICAN IN PARIS (1951)

69. SHANE (1953)

70. THE FRENCH CONNECTION (1971) A highly overrated chase scene. Feh. Hackman has done much better movies. Why is this movie on the list?

71. FORREST GUMP (1994) And why is this movie on the list? A film about an idiot?

72. BEN-HUR (1959)

73. WUTHERING HEIGHTS (1939)

74. THE GOLD RUSH (1925)

75. DANCES WITH WOLVES (1990)

76. CITY LIGHTS (1931)

77. AMERICAN GRAFFITI (1973) Cool movie, but I remember Lords of Flatbush better.

78. ROCKY (1976) I can’t believe I saw this.

79. THE DEER HUNTER (1978)

80. THE WILD BUNCH (1969)

81. MODERN TIMES (1936)

82. GIANT (1956)

83. PLATOON (1986)

84. FARGO (1996) I love William Macy in this.

85. DUCK SOUP (1933) Why aren’t there more comedies on this list?

86. MUTINY ON THE BOUNTY (1935)

87. FRANKENSTEIN (1931) More brains! Fine movie, but Young Frankenstein is better.

88. EASY RIDER (1969)

89. PATTON (1970) Dove that I am, I still find this flick compelling. My dad took me to see it when I was eight!

90. THE JAZZ SINGER (1927)

91. MY FAIR LADY (1964)

92. A PLACE IN THE SUN (1951)

93. THE APARTMENT (1960) I have a dim memory of this one.

94. GOODFELLAS (1990) Ditto.

95. PULP FICTION (1994) Every generation needs its Deliverance. This is ours. Squeal like a pig!

96. THE SEARCHERS (1956) One of my favorite Westerns, but there have been better ones. Why isn’t Sergio Leone represented on this list? Once Upon a Time in America. Need I say more? Okay: High Plains Drifter.

97. BRINGING UP BABY (1938)

98. UNFORGIVEN (1992) See my comment to #96. Not a bad film, but not on my top 100 list.

99. GUESS WHO’S COMING TO DINNER (1967) What’s up with Sydney Poitier’s girlfriend in this movie? Is she brain dead? Aside from that, I’ve always considered this movie a guilty pleasure.

100. YANKEE DOODLE DANDY (1942)