“The fudge is the life.”
Bela Lugosi, Dracula (1931)
En route from the bedroom to the dishwasher, Karen’s not-quite-finished dessert became a bit lighter. In eight or nine paces, I, Diet Boy, managed to polish off several teaspoons of molten Dreyer’s Chocolate Ice Cream and a heaping congealed teaspoon of Mrs. Richardson’s Hot Fudge.
Let’s take a closer look at theobromine.
Do ya see it yet? Do ya? The structures are awfully similar. One could, with little effort, imagine a genetic code in which caffeine and theobromine are key players. Imagine further that we were incapable of synthesizing these compounds (which is, in fact, true: our bodies don’t make caffeine or theobromine, more’s the pity). Do you see where I’m headed with this?
Theobromine and caffeine would be vitamins — essential nutrients we cannot synthesize for ourselves.
Chocolate and coffee would be the bottom tier of the food pyramid. One could live on One-a-Day Vitamins and tiramisu.
Perhaps I had more of a point when I first got rolling, but isn’t that point enough?
D.
Perhaps I had more of a point when I first got rolling, but isn’t that point enough?
No.
X
Hmm. You don’t like a fantasy where Cafe Mocha is as nutritious as Ensure, eh? Tough audience.
Trying to out-geek me with biochemistry, eh? Trust me, Doug, physics will always be geekier than biochem.
And yes, I want a world where chocolate — particularly dark chocolate — is better for me than cauliflower.
Yes, I would like to live in a world where my boyfriend doesn’t glare at me every time I shove chocolate into my mouth, saying snide shit like, “that’ll go straight to your thighs.” I’d like to be able to say, “Fuck you, it’s healthy for me.”
I should say that anyway.
Go for it, Bam.
I can’t even… Wow.
Sorry. I need a few moments alone, contemplating a world in which chocolate isn’t just good for me, but provides me with essential nutrients.
*shifty eyes*