The cough

I can honestly say I am sick of dark chocolate.

What I wouldn’t do for a decent night’s sleep . . .

D.

Where you get your ideas . . .

Apropos of Dean’s discussion here, I thought this was interesting:

Harlan Ellison isn’t my favorite person, but he did have cause to be pissed, IMHO. I remember both Outer Limits episodes well, and the Bob Culp story (Demon With A Glass Hand) had more than a passing resemblance to the Terminator storyline. Plus they have a witnessed record of Cameron’s admission of plagiarism. Cameron got off easy and Ellison deserved a lot more than $65 – 70,000.

D.

Cure for cough

Last night at about 3 AM, I got up and searched the web for information on cough suppressants. No surprise to your humble servant (who had repeatedly hit the bottles — non-narcotic antitussives, narcotic syrups, and booze), prescription drugs don’t help. My web sources recommend two things, one obvious and one surprising.

The obvious one: honey. Many of the remedies on this page use honey. Lemon combined with white or black pepper, that’s another popular one. And of course honey and lemon together.

The surprising one: dark chocolate.

In a cough suppressant study performed by London’s National Heart and Lung Institute, chocolate’s theobromine significantly outperformed codeine, the primary active ingredient in prescription cough medicine. Participants in the study were treated at different times with a placebo, codeine, and theobromine before being exposed to capsaicin via an inhaled gas. Capsaicin, a chili pepper derivative, has long been used to induce coughing in clinical research.

As a cough medicine, codeine (mostly known as a painkiller) had nominal success compared to the placebo, but theobromine was 33 percent more effective than codeine to stop coughing. Theobromine was found to work directly on the vagus nerve, which is responsible for triggering coughing.

The article points out that codeine isn’t terribly safe (you shouldn’t drive afterward, nor operate heavy machinery), while chocolate is perfectly safe. Well, not “perfectly” safe — those of us who suffer from reflux learn to fear chocolate for its pro-reflux properties.

And so the dilemma. If I do nothing, the cough will keep me up. If I dose up on narcotic cough syrup, the narcotics will give me insomnia and I’ll still cough my lungs out. If I dose up on chocolate, I won’t cough, but the reflux might keep me up.

I’m going to take my chances with chocolate. It has worked well for me all day, so hopefully it’ll serve me well tonight, too. And maybe I’ll take some honey for good measure.

What’s your favorite cough cure?

D.

What’s next with my movie-making career?

I must admit, it was fun relearning the Pinnacle Studio video editing software. Close to two years old, my magnum opus, while still up on YouTube, sadly lacks a soundtrack. I was unwise enough to give credits for the various sound clips I used, and that led to YouTube trashing my whole audio file. The video is still up but WTF? Like any of the jokes work without audio?

Which reminds me . . . if any of my Crescent City friends have the CD I made them and can send me a copy, let me know. I’d be grateful. I can’t seem to reconstruct the video from Pinnacle.

But what should I do next? I haven’t tried grabbing scenes of movie DVDs; if I can do that, then I can create my very own mash-ups. Having just suffered through Drag Me To Hell (we fast-forwarded through most of it, but our suffering was quite real nevertheless), I’m of a mind to create a movie trailer that makes Sam Raimi’s flick look like an unlikely gay rom-com featuring the relationship between the protagonist and the old gypsy lady. Yes, I know, it’s kinda been done before, but 32,447 Brokeback send-offs demonstrate that if it’s worth doing, it’s worth doing over and over again.

I’ve thought about filming “The Sights of Bakersfield”: Buck Owens’ Crystal Palace, the Fox building, the big “BAKERSFIELD” banner, and then cut after cut of drive-through burger joints, for which the town rivals Modesto. But as a fresh immigrant to Bako, I have to wonder . . . is it too soon to ridicule my new home?

D.

Cruel and unusual homework

I’m still busy hacking up what’s left of my remaining lung, but that doesn’t excuse duties to one’s offspring. So if Jake has to make a music video, we make a —

A what?

Yes indeed. For his Health class, he and his team were obliged to write, direct, perform, etc., a song about the dangers of cocaine.

Now my first idea was this: rip Eric Clapton’s “Cocaine” from YouTube, and add on the following title screen:

“Cocaine”
Sung to the tune of Eric Clapton’s “Cocaine”
With special guest performer ERIC CLAPTON!

but Jake would have none of it. So his mother and I thought we would do something a la Romanek, i.e. just a series of disturbing images: a rotating pig’s head, for example, or since pig’s heads are hard to come by perhaps a pig snout. With powdered sugar in the nostrils, yeah, that’s it! Ken and Barbie drowning in a pile of powdered sugar, which subsequently catches fire and the two melt together all puddly and plasticky. Time lapse photography of an opossum being consumed by maggots, or something similar, like a McDonald’s Big Mac gnawed upon by a small child. *shiver*

Instead, Jake and three young women spent the better part of twelve hours acting and singing and editing while Karen and I served as technical support and food source (Popeye’s Chicken, since cannibalism was not an option). The end product is hands down OMG a camp masterpiece, complete with yogurt-and-barbecue sauce-fake-vomit, the cheesiest of seizures, the ripest of rhymes.

It is hopelessly square.

And it sure as hell better get an A+.

D.

Brilliance

I’m still feeling pretty sick, so this is all I got for ya.

But it’s a good one, don’t you think?

D.

Patricia

I’ve shown you the frog tank. It’s sufficiently “grown in” that we are ready to repopulate it with frogs. Sorry, no miniature hippos. Miniaturehippos.com was fresh out.

But I’m close to purchasing four Dendrobates tinctorius “Patricia”:

patricia

and I’ve already bought some Dendrobates leucomelas:

leucomelas

which ought to arrive some time next week.

Soon our household will yet again play host to the pitter patter of little feet. Really little feet.

D.

Hazard of the profession

Sick again. My medical assistant was thoughtful enough to put a mask on the little girl, but she took it off whenever she needed to cough. Unclear on the concept.

In training, two of my co-residents converted their TB test; one developed pulmonary TB. Here in Bako, I get to worry about Valley Fever, too.

Meh, I shouldn’t kvetch. I get great benefits and salary, and tons of support from administration. School teachers are exposed to the same infectious crap, and they don’t get the compensation I get. Cops, same thing. I guess anyone who works with the public is in the same boat.

What gets me is that bank execs don’t have any of those risks, yet they make more money than all of us put together. Go figure.

D.

Yet another variation of the student’s dream

Here we are at the beach: one of those quiet, nearly deserted coves south of Gold Beach which can be bitter cold when the wind is up, or Edenic on a sunny morning. It’s morning, the sun is up, and there are many of us. From the parking area we hiked down a steep, dry gully to get to a shore tracked by dogs and gulls. Damp sand made virginal by the receding tide, snaking line of cream-white shell fragments, smooth stones sparkling and popping a million tiny voices as the ocean sucks another wave back down. A rumble, a crash from the wrong direction, and the gully is no more. We’re trapped in the cove.

And I have surgical cases at 8 AM at my little hospital in Gold Beach.

We go our various ways. I climb one of the nearby bluffs that ring the cove and find a trail leading back to a concrete parking structure that has no business on the Southern Oregon coast. There it is, my in-laws’ old brown Camry. As soon as I get in and start the engine, the Camry turns into a go-kart, only it’s still a Toyota, so of course the accelerator sticks and I have a devil of a time not crashing on this suddenly crowded San Francisco avenue. And now it’s LA County Hospital where I have those 8 AM cases, and not only do I not have the time to make my start, I can’t seem to remember the OR’s phone number. Can’t even tell them I’m going to be late.

It goes on and on like that. There’s a part where I’m inching along at two or three or four miles an hour, part of a parade sandwiched between a clown car and a bronze centipede that roils along like a dragon on Chinese New Year; there’s another part where I tell myself if I can only find the freeway, I’ll be fine, but when I stop and ask directions from a guy on the street, he yammers gibberish at me, and all his friends laugh. It goes on and on.

And I’m thinking now that I should have stayed in that cove. Maybe that’s how you defeat a student’s dream.

D.

, April 6, 2010. Category: Dreams.

What’s not to like?

sparrowAbout a week ago, I finished Mary Doria Russell’s 1996 novel The Sparrow, which won all kinds of awards and, as far as I’m concerned, deserved them all.

The Sparrow
is a first contact novel in which the Society of Jesus engages with intelligent life in the Alpha Centauri system, on the planet Rakhat. From the prologue, which concludes with the ominous, “They meant no harm,” you might think you know the end of this story; and indeed, it’s clear from the first pages that the Stella Maris’s crew met with disaster. Only one crew member survives — Emilio Sandoz, Puerto Rican Jesuit, bastard and baseball player, would-be saint and all-around nice guy — and he stands accused of murder and prostitution. The man is a PR nightmare.

The story is told with two intertwining narrative threads, one beginning with the discovery of extraterrestrial song by a SETI scientist working at Arecibo, Puerto Rico in 2019, the other beginning in 2059 with the Church’s hurried attempts to sequester Sandoz from the public eye. That Sandoz in 2059 is a changed man relative to Sandoz in 2019 (albeit just a few years older, thanks to relativistic effects) is evident from the outset. The younger priest wrestles with an imperfect faith but is otherwise joyful, while the older Sandoz gives damaged a whole new dimension. The mystery and much of the narrative drive stems from the questions: what happened to Sandoz (and the rest of the crew), and will he ever be whole again?

For much of the book, Russell’s pacing and characterization are masterful. I was grateful that she let me know upfront that all would end in tragedy because she does a stupendous job developing her eight crew men and women. Even knowing the outcome, I cared deeply for all of them, most of all Sandoz, and their fate was heartbreaking.

Yes, The Sparrow is a tearjerker, but it’s so much more: it’s a study of cultures not so much in conflict as in confusion; an exploration of sexuality and religion, of the bonds of family and friends, of the relationship of people with their God. All that, and yet it never felt “talky” or “preachy” (not at all like a Heinlein novel, in other words). Best of all, Russell respects the reader enough to explore these ideas without putting forward her own biases, at least not in any obvious way, and with her ending she offers no easy answers.

Not a perfect novel by any stretch, though. Mostly I was bothered by the rushed feeling in the last fifty pages. Major traumatic events happen off camera, told secondhand, as if Russell didn’t have the heart to write the scenes, or perhaps she didn’t think her readers would have the heart to read them. After a few hundred pages of masterful stonewalling, Sandoz gives his Jesuit inquisitors what they’ve wanted all along — his version of events — and the shift feels precipitous. And this is a book with an all too brief denouement, leaving the reader with a major WTF moment at the end. (Good planning on Russell’s part, though, since I instantly bought the sequel, Children of God. The usual story . . . dying to know what happens next.)

As for the sequel, I suppose I should reserve judgment until the end, but 3/4 of the way through I feel like Russell should have taken Elmore Leonard’s dictum to heart (cut the stuff that others skip). I’m glad I bought it because it does give a sense of closure to The Sparrow, and I understand why Children of God is flawed. Russell, I think, really wanted to tell the whole story of what happened on Rakhat following the debacle of the first Jesuit mission, so the sequel is in many ways more of a history than a novel. The focus had to shift from one riveting character to a number of folks who shaped a planet’s history. There’s a loss of dramatic punch in such a gear-change, and face it, histories aren’t as much fun as novels.

The Sparrow may not be the best book for the hard SF fan. The aliens are not terribly alien and the planet never feels like much more than a country the size of Denmark (no, not even when the Stella Maris is surveying it from above). Russell never falls into the It was raining on Mars trap, but I could tell world-building was not her strength when she wrote this. Culture-building, yes, and character-creation, absolutely. But world-building? Nope.

Enough complaints, though. This was one of those rare books that I had to read in every spare moment — a book that became more important to me than videogaming. What higher compliment can I pay it? And it had more genuine feeling to it, more pathos and poignancy, joy and sorrow, than any book I’ve read in a long time.

If you do read it, let me know what you think 😉

D.