Balls and Walnuts
more than you ever wanted to know
Cruel and unusual homework
I’m still busy hacking up what’s left of my remaining lung, but that doesn’t excuse duties to one’s offspring. So if Jake has to make a music video, we make a —
A what?
Yes indeed. For his Health class, he and his team were obliged to write, direct, perform, etc., a song about the dangers of cocaine.
Now my first idea was this: rip Eric Clapton’s “Cocaine” from YouTube, and add on the following title screen:
“Cocaine”
Sung to the tune of Eric Clapton’s “Cocaine”
With special guest performer ERIC CLAPTON!
but Jake would have none of it. So his mother and I thought we would do something a la Romanek, i.e. just a series of disturbing images: a rotating pig’s head, for example, or since pig’s heads are hard to come by perhaps a pig snout. With powdered sugar in the nostrils, yeah, that’s it! Ken and Barbie drowning in a pile of powdered sugar, which subsequently catches fire and the two melt together all puddly and plasticky. Time lapse photography of an opossum being consumed by maggots, or something similar, like a McDonald’s Big Mac gnawed upon by a small child. *shiver*
Instead, Jake and three young women spent the better part of twelve hours acting and singing and editing while Karen and I served as technical support and food source (Popeye’s Chicken, since cannibalism was not an option). The end product is hands down OMG a camp masterpiece, complete with yogurt-and-barbecue sauce-fake-vomit, the cheesiest of seizures, the ripest of rhymes.
It is hopelessly square.
And it sure as hell better get an A+.
D.
“Jake and three young women”
I like Jake’s style.
No fair – we wanna see the video.
I’ll see if I can get permiso to upload to YouTube 😉
It will make your ears bleed.
And here it is, by POPULAR DEMAND:
A++