Balls and Walnuts
more than you ever wanted to know
Like rabbits. In my head.
The trouble with writing guy-chick lit, or gick lit, is that my two characters are getting it on in my brain way ahead of schedule. On the page, they haven’t so much as kissed, but in my head they’re spending hours on oral. (Remember how it was when you were a virgin and you could make foreplay and oral sex last all night?) And I got this great idea about suspect advice derived from the pages of Cosmo, an over-anxious first-timer, carbonated beverages, and a certain candy.
Stop it, you two. Just stop it. I’m not ready to write that scene yet.
As Jim would say, comical hijinks ensue.
I’ll simply have to write faster.
D.
Altoids supposedly work exceedingly well, too.
Not that I’d know or anything.
*innocent blink*
Oh, and Doug, my characters go at it in my head all the time. Occasionally gets tedious, if you can believe that. Heh.
Writing faster sounds like the perfect solution. 🙂
Ice cubes. Champagne. String of pearls. Grapes. Regular candy mints (Altoids burn). The old traditional spray whipped cream &/or Hershey’s syrup. Any kind of fruit, really. I’ve read about using Nutella, but that just sounds sticky to me, and better on a sandwich than on… er… something else, but anything’s worth a try, right?
Darla, where are you putting those grapes 😉 I already know what you’re doing with the pearls.
Nutella sounds like a great idea. You’d have to suck really hard to get Nutella off a, um, spoon. Yeah. A spoon.
Kris, do an Altoids/Tic Tac comparison and get back to us, okay? hee hee
I’ve had this happen once so far.
Of course, we’re not including the character whom I know nothing about, but I keep seeing him have sex with lots of people.
I think I need help. LOL.
Get your minds out of the gutter. I’m an innocent girl and not supposed to even understand those allusions. 😀
Idamantes, Vinicius, get out of my brain. And take those mamacles and the whip with you.
Manacles, Gabriele. Mamacles brings to mind all manner of Freudian nightmares 😉
Blogs need an Edit feature.
In Blogger, you can at least delete your post and repost a corected version, but here the typos remain. Argh.
Suspending the tension is usually good for the storyline, I think … Mulder and Scully had to wait 9 long years before they … um … consumated their relationship. Maybe if you’d introduce a cigarette smoking man and some aliens, that would help 🙂
They’re going to have to do something soon or I’m going to slam them both ‘longside the head. Honestly.
Give ’em a break, Kate. They’re virgins. And Brad thinks he’d be a slut if he did her after the first date.
Kris, do an Altoids/Tic Tac comparison and get back to us, okay? hee hee
Yes, dearest — on whom, then? If I had but a willing volunteer…
*insert hysterical laughter here*
Kris, the squirmingly, seemingly permanently, some-days-painfully single…
You mean once we’re no longer virgins we’re not supposed to make oral last all night? Where the heck is that written in the rule book? there I go, failing the life test again…
Hmmm….I just received a large shipment of cinnamon tic-tacs…..
just read about altoids in that Robin Schone book while I was looking for some orgasms. They never manage it though. Wowwee is that book full of
One sentence paragraphs.
Repeated scenes. Repeated words.
Adding up in the end, however.
If you like that sort of . . . thing.
Kris, I’d say something, but a while back I took that pledge not to flirt in the blogosphere. (But am I remembering correctly . . . aren’t you the one that I told to get all hot and sweaty before flirting with your aerobics instructor? And did it work?)
Lyvvie, you must not be MY age. The only thing that lasts all night anymore is sleep.
Kate, I kept thinking all day about how I would write my orgasm scene. I think it is my role in life to write the definitive orgasm from the guy’s POV. Or maybe write one from the girl’s POV which is so horrendously over the top, incorporating all cliches and carrying them to a ridiculous extreme, only to have her wake up in the end? Nah. I’ll stick to the guy’s POV for that scene.
please post some more info on what/how you did.
thx!