Yes, Virginia, there is a Fitzmas

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Dear Walnut—I am 8 years old.
Some of my wingnut friends say there will be no Fitzmas this year.
Some even say there is no Fitz!
Papa says, ‘If you see it in Balls and Walnuts, it’s so.’
Please tell me the truth, will there be a Fitzmas?

Virginia, your wingnut friends are wrong. They have been affected by the Bush Administration’s purple Kool-Aid. They believe nothing but what they are told by Bill O’Reilly and Rush Limbaugh. They think that nothing can be which is not comprehensible by their little minds.

Yes, Virginia, there will be a Fitzmas. Fitzmas will happen as certainly as corruption and cronyism and treachery are rife in the Bush Administration, and you know that they abound and give to our great country its greatest embarrassment and shame. Alas! how dreary would be the world if there were no Fitzmas! It would be as dreary as if there were no Virginias. There would be no child-like faith in the rule of law then, no social contract, no trust to make tolerable this existence. We should have no justice, except as a twisted, laughable mockery. The eternal light with which the rule of law fills our land would be extinguished.

Not believe in Fitzmas! You might as well not believe in loofahs! Did you ever see Bill O’Reilly use a loofah to caress lovingly a naked woman’s back? Of course not, but that’s no proof he didn’t do it. Nobody can conceive or imagine all the horrors there are unseen and unseeable in the world.

No Fitz! Thank God! he lives, and his kind will live forever. A thousand years from now, Virginia, nay, ten times ten thousand years from now, he will continue to make glad the heart of justice-loving citizens everywhere.

Technorati tags: Karl Rove, Patrick Fitzgerald, Fitzmas, PlameGate.