Balls and Walnuts
more than you ever wanted to know
Coming soon to a TV near you
At our monthly meeting this afternoon at the Kize, they played for us the latest radio spot and TV commercial. The radio spot was unmemorable (something about the Bone Health program for seniors), but the TV commercial was a thing of beauty. Once it hits YouTube, it will surely go viral, and I’ll post it.
So, picture it:
A young woman and man stumble through the front door of a not-too-upscale apartment. Neither looks like an actor — they might have been nabbed off the street to appear in this commercial. They’re all over each other, convincingly enough that one of the docs in the room said, “Hey! You got the wrong video!” The two lovers fall to the floor in a passionate clench, disappearing behind a couch.
Change camera angle. They’re still in their clothes, but the woman sits astride the man. “Hold on,” she says. “Do you have protection?”
He whips out a condom and waves it, cheesy I’m-definitely-gonna-get-some grin on his face.
“But condoms aren’t 100% perfect,” she argues. “What if you have genital herpes, or pubic lice? When were you last tested?”
“Last week, and my doctor has already sent me my results.” And now he whips out his laptop, which is already fired up and the Kize’s patient home page is there and he’s tap-tapping away showing her his test results.
She makes a sort of “Wow!” sound of awe, takes the laptop from him, and tap-taps away, looking at her BF’s test results.
There’s some sort of voice-over about how Kize patients can go online to email their doctors, change appointment times, check test results, etc., but no one will pay attention to that. Everyone will be looking at the guy rubbing his hands together slowly, wearing the look of the cat who is about to eat the canary.
Two of the older docs quipped, “Hey — what? I don’t get it!”
D.
