Balls and Walnuts
more than you ever wanted to know
In what universe is it possible to medicate a cat?
Work must be too easy, so life’s throwing curves; today, for example, I had to race home, pick up Mist, and take her to the vet. I managed to get Mist back home and get myself back into work only 20 minutes behind schedule. Whew.
She’s had a herpetic conjunctivitis since we got her, and I gather this isn’t something she’ll ever be fully rid of, but which will bother her from time to time. Recently, she became even more squinty-eyed than usual, so I made an appointment for the vet. The vet and her assistant rather effortlessly restrained and medicated Mist (vet tech holding, vet doing the deed). The medication part was pretty slick shit: with one hand, the vet pushed back on the upper lid, while with the other she pushed down on the lower lid and squirted a ribbon of ointment into her eye.
“Just do that three times a day until she sees me again,” she said, and to my dropped jaw she added, “Well, at least twice a day.”
I figured that with three of us here at home, perhaps we could get the job done. Wrong.
I’m reminded of the ad . . .
So we need a companion video where some dude says, “Medicatin’ a cat. Don’t let anyone tell you it’s easy.”
Is there anything more slippery than a cat? Anything more elusive? I tried to hold her just as I’d seen the vet hold her earlier today, but it was a total flail. Jake couldn’t hold her, either, and we were concerned that too much of this would destroy the tenuous trust she has for him (and he’s the only one she trusts). Finally, he decided to try to sneak some into her eye on a Kleenex, since she does permit him to wipe her eye. This might have worked.
Medicating cats is hard. Don’t even get me started on that old stuff-the-pill-down-her-throat business — we’ve flailed on that, too, believe me. Once, we even boarded her for a few days just so we wouldn’t have to be the ones to medicate her.
Sweet Jesus, it’s easier cleaning ear wax from a two-year-old.
D.
Epic Fail. I have two cats. Both have required medication this year and I was unable to administer it to either of them. Of course the vet makes it look easy. Why do the cats behave for them and then turn into shrieking, clawing, viscious beasties at home? My vet prescribed two different pills to be given twice a day for my 16 lb. cat. The only time I managed to get a pill down his throat, he threw it up and I had claw and tooth marks on both of my arms. I went to the vet for help and they gave me a syringe type device that holds the pill to make it easier to give to the cat. Another failure. I go back to the vet and tell them it’s impossible and they tell me that I could get the same medication in a liquid form but I would have to pay for it again and could not return the unused portion of the pills. What? I almost lost it on that one. Ironically I used to work in an animal hospital so I know how restrain an animal, except my own. Good luck!
Our 19 1/2 year old cat needs transdermal thryoid meds twice a day, but I’ve figured out how to make it a piece of cake. I squirt the stuff on the left index finger of my gloved hand and then just pretend to be petting him inside his ear. He loves it. Maybe you could squirt the stuff on your gloved finger and give him some rubs in the eye area. Better than nothing. When our cat Michael was younger, any attempt to give him pills or cut his toenails or other things that he allows the vet to do would end up with me being bitten or clawed to shreds.
I have no solution for eye medication; that IS a tough one, but if you ever have to give a pill to your cats, I’ve got a great solution. We are giving our cat one pill twice a day by squeezing it between two soft cat treats. He eats it up like candy. If you can afford it, the vet has something called Pill Pockets (a soft treat with a hole in it where you shove the pill into the pocket). These can also be bought for $11 a bag at Petsmart. We opted for the two dollar store soft treats. I’ll squeeze two treats together rather than pay the $11 a bag. In fact, the pill has fallen out of my makeshift pill pocket, and Sparky sucks up the pill and chews it anyway.
You need a Schrödinger box, with sleeping gas instead of cyanide. Half the time — statistically speaking — the waveform will collapse to give a sleeping cat.
Loooove the video. Feel sorry for you and your cat. Trauma drama.
M
Two words: Large Towel.
Bundle the cat up like a baby in bunting and have the ‘assistant’ hold the feline sausage (make sure it’s fairly snug and there are no loose edges around the neck area or it’ll be one leg out and zoom!). It’s still a squirm-fest, but at least you won’t have battle scars.
BEST. COMMERCIAL. EVER.
Anyway, I’m not sure what to tell you, here. Speaking as a vet tech, medicating cats is often a two person job, at the very least. They may have made it look easy because your cat will react differently to you doing it than she will to the vet in an unfamiliar setting. Trust me, I have trouble sometimes medicating my own beasties at home, and there are some cats that practically need to be trussed to get anything done to them in the office.
That said, talk to the vet about it. If need be, you can learn to wrap her in a towel like a kitty burrito (AKA “purrito”) and Jake can put in the ointment. If she is already genuinely low on trust for you or skittish, she may get used to hearing you coming and bolt, unless well enticed. Either way, perhaps you can make a tech appointment and they’ll go over how to do it step by step with you. (This may cost something, although less than a regular visit, or they may offer to do it as a courtesy if you explain your problem.)
Or, you could buy me a couple plane tickets and I’ll come out and help you myself. ;o)
Good luck!
P.S.: If she is used to being petted on the face, you can always sneak some on your finger and rub it in before she knows what’s coming…
Thanks, everyone.
We’ve taken Da Nator’s last suggestion. She’s already used to Jake wiping her eye with a Kleenex, so he figured out he could sneak ointment into her eye when he wipes away the crud.
We didn’t like the brute force restraint idea because we tried that yesterday, and it really seemed to freak her out. She wouldn’t even eat her favorite cat treat. And doesn’t stress predispose towards a herpes flare? So we thought, whatever’s the least stressful, that’s the way to go.
So far, so good.