Balls and Walnuts
more than you ever wanted to know
Ubersexual — so that’s what I am!
Thanks to Beth for pointing me towards Sandy Oakes’s Romancing the Blog post, Ubersexuals. At last, I find someone who understands my true nature.
Let’s see how I stack up. According to Marsha Saltzman’s book The Future of Men, the Ubersexual
- “embraces his masculine qualities (the M-ness factor) which includes confidence, leadership, passion and compassion.” Yup, that’s me, all the way. Just ask Karen.
- “is passionate about causes and principles.” Check.
- “treats and respects women as equals, but considers other men his best friends.” But my wife is my best friend. Does that make me (gasp!) a metrosexual? Am I less uber for my choice in friends?
- “is sensual and not self-conscious.” Sensual, yes, but . . . does worrying about my belly blubber count as self-consciousness?
- “knows ‘the difference between right and wrong and will make the right decision regardless of what others around him may think.'” Check.
By my conservative estimate, this makes me at least 70% ubersexual. That’s good enough to overturn a Presidential veto — ubersexual it is! Yippee. This sounds like a good (albeit vaguely Third Reichich) thing.
One problem: I don’t like being on top. Does that make me an untersexual?
D.
“One problem: I don’t like being on top. Does that make me an untersexual?”
No, Doug, that just makes you lazy.
You mean I’m supposed to work at it?
Amanda wrote: No, Doug, that just makes you lazy.
She beat me to it.
I do think you’re sufficiently uber with a nice side of playful. George Clooney could play you in a movie easy.
Hah! Reminds me of Pee Wee’s Big Adventure. Clooney playing me would be like James Brolin playing Pee Wee. “I don’t have to see the movie. I lived it.”