Balls and Walnuts
more than you ever wanted to know
Bodega Bay
I was feeling stir crazy yesterday and wanted to see ocean. Jake must have been bored with his usual computer games, so he took a rare break from the monitor (hey! I almost called it a CRT!) to come with me.
It’s a quick drive from here to the coat — 20 minutes, perhaps? And pretty, although when you’re used to a more northern coastline, this particular brand of “pretty” feels rather thin. Still, I had high hopes.
We were greeted by the bellow of bull sea lions before we even saw water. They had flocked to the shoreline by the dozens, and two huge bad boys duked it out over a young female with a very attractive set of flippers. She wore a bit of seaweed on her head like a tiara, and you know those fancy reusable shopping bags they sell for a couple bucks at Trader Joes? She must have found one in the surf, because she carried it on her right flipper just like the latest Louis Vuitton handbag, and she used it to slap one of the bulls upside the head if he showed any signs of cowardice.
Sea snakes of all colors had swarmed the tide pools. There were lime greens and emeralds, magenta with creamy stripes, teals and mauves and puces, and one lonely spumoni. Young boys clothed only in Speedos dove into the pools for nickles and dimes thrown by jeering tourists while street vendors loudly hawked sno-cones and churros. A good time was had by all.
We drove up the coast, looking for something less commercial, and found a colony of sea otters. Here, too, dozens of day-trippers had gathered, and there were vendors selling dripping wet muslin bags. We parked and got out to take a closer look. Fishmongers loaded the muslin bags with live mussels and oysters, and folks were tossing these to the otters. Seemed like a fun idea — how often do you get to feed sea otters? But it wasn’t like that at all. The otters had learned to macrame kelp into satchels and hanging baskets. We watched in amazement as a Marinite in black Vuarnets heaved a muslin bag out to sea; one otter made off with the loot while another swam to shore, tugging a kelp afghan behind him.
Yeah, Bodega Bay sucked ass. We stopped off at a gift shop, bought some salt water taffy, and came home.
Sometimes the fantasy is better than the reality.
D.
hey… can you smell the smoke yet? i read something on one of the local tv station’s websites that people in the bay area were complaining about smelling the smoke from our fires down south. even saw a pic of the smoke plume that reached clear to san jose, and that was yesterday!
Nope, no smoke. Just the usual aroma of horse shit. I wish I were kidding.