Balls and Walnuts
more than you ever wanted to know
The dangers of embellishment
How about a preview of an upcoming Cosmo Thirteen? From the January issue, here’s a bit from Sex Snafus that Ended Up in the ER:
“A young couple came in with this story: During sex, the woman had grabbed a medium-sized rubber ball and inserted it into her man’s back door. The ball became lodged so high in his rectum, they couldn’t get it out . . . and neither could we! The attending MD paged a surgeon, but while we were waiting for him to arrive, the man began coughing. The ball came flying out of his butt with enough velocity to ping around the room and hit the just-arriving surgeon in the head.”
I have a few observations.
(1) I would really, really like to see Mythbusters tackle this one, because
(2) The story has been embellished past all semblance of reality. But if the writer wanted to create a fanciful story,
(3) The ball should ping around the room a few times and then lodge itself in the arriving surgeon’s gaping mouth. Sadly,
(4) They would call me (or some other ENT) to remove it.
Hat tip to my son for figuring out how to improve the story.
***
What a weird, cruel week it has been. For a two-and-a-half-day week, I managed to fit in about four months’ worth of emergencies. My patients are fine, and for that, I’m grateful. But I feel bulldozed, too.
I’ll find you a Friday Flickr Babe later this evening. Meanwhile, enjoy Dean’s Flickr Babes (NSFW).
Mmmmm. Butt cleavagey.
D.
