Balls and Walnuts
more than you ever wanted to know
A public apology
To my nonagenarian patient:
Ma’am, when you asked me, “I want to know how long I’m going to be here,” I truly believed you were being existential. Hence my shocked reply, “On this planet?”
It’s not my fault. You were my third GOP* for the afternoon, and I didn’t think I could be that unlucky.
Back to work on the Thursday Thirteen, folks, or what may soon be the Friday Fourteen.
D.
*Grumpy Old Person. Like the fellow today who, in reply to my usual opening question, “What can I do for you today?” said, “I don’t know. What can anyone do for me anymore?”
damn! I wish you were our ENT.
btw, I was looking for info about itchy ears (four out of five of us have IES) and found an article that I thought was pretty funny.
It was funny enough, I looked at the author’s name and hey! It’s by someone named Douglas Hoffman. What a coincidence.
Believe it or not, I think there is another Douglas Hoffman, ENT. But the author of that article is yours truly. That’s from my year as an iVillage agony aunt. Paid pretty well (so, yes, I DO get to call myself a professional writer . . . shame I’ve been out of work these past six years), but after a year I became a budget victim. Or perhaps they figured they had downloaded all useful knowledge from my brain, and were content to let me go.