Balls and Walnuts
more than you ever wanted to know
GallimauFriday III: the Gonadal Special
Hat tip to Indecision 2008 for tonight’s NEWSFLASH: Hillary Clinton Denies Desire For Sweet Caress of a Woman’s Tongue.
Regulars here know I’m not a big Hillary fan. But asking her to comment on rumors that she’s a lesbian? Why, that’s as irrelevant as asking the Republican Presidential candidates if they troll airport bathrooms for long-shlonged dudes, or tryst with mommified dominatrices who let them poop their Pampers. Ask them if they’ve ever appeared in drag while you’re at it.
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For those of you who missed yesterday’s story: it’s true. We do think with our nuts. Or at least, the potential is there:
Men have a source of potentially life-saving stem cells between their legs.
A team of American researchers has found a way to easily identify stem cells in the testicles of adult mice that can be coaxed to turn into brain cells, muscle cells, heart cells, blood cells and even blood vessels.
One day, they say, male patients may be able to turn to their own testicles as a source of stem cells to repair an ailing heart or kidney or to fix the brain damage caused by Alzheimer’s or Parkinson’s disease.
Thus explaining the commonplace mid-21st Century catch phrase, “Saved by the balls!”
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It’s Yom Kippur. Have you asked Stephen Colbert for forgiveness yet? I would, except I haven’t wronged the guy.
I’d call and make shit up, but I suspect that wouldn’t be in keeping with the Yom Kippur spirit.
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Speaking of balls. From the Department of Testicular Atrophy: Vicente Fox writes that George Bush, “windshield cowboy,” is afraid of horses.
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And here’s someone that should stimulate a fair share of gonads out there . . .
As I was browsing Flickr for a Friday Flickr Babe (DO click on that link — Dean has some great photos tonight), I thought, “Gee, that looks like Milla Jovovich!” And I was right. Here’s a whole page of Milla Jovovich shots.
Hey, I just like her cuz she kicks ass in Resident Evil. Tough women rawk.
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This is old news to those of you who read the Smart Bitches. But for the rest of you, enjoy. (NSFW, and, might I add, oy vey?)
D.
Just when I’ve learned not to click on things you warn me not to click on, you put up that last link with no warning.
On the other hand, from now on I’ll know what “NSFW” stands for.
What part of oy vey didn’t you understand, the oy or the vey? 😉
But from my point of view, there’s nothing to complain about. She’s pretty. She’s nude. End of discussion.
Wow. That product is… classy.
Re: being afraid of horses. Watching the CNN video clip, it’s clear that Bush don’t know how to be around horses, rubbing the face and bending down to look into the horse’s eyes from below. (Unfamiliar horse, pet its neck or shoulder or side of the face — not in the front where it can’t see you so well.)
On the other hand, the “afraid of horses” thing sounds like a guy who’s really upset that you didn’t enjoy being around his dog, bird, horse, or cat.
But I do think the comment about Bush being the cockiest guy he’d ever met was pretty spot on. Good for Fox for saying so.
And I’ve seen that last product before. It showed up in comments on Smart Bitches a few months ago. Eww. I want to know how they can assure customers that they collect only from *beautiful* women.
This was some sharp,funny writing.
I know I don’t have gonads, so I suppose that’s the reason I don’t see why this girl is so hot, but she reminds me of that old Rod Serling episode where the manikans (help, I’m embarrassed I can’t spell that word) come to life in the dept store, and then the woman who’s freaked out by them discovered omg, I’m a manikan too.
Suisan: in his recent press conference, he reportedly got so flustered that he let his phony Texas accent slip, and the “Yale tones” crept back in. He’s a rancher as much as I am. Hell, I owned land and cleared brush in Texas, too, once upon a time. Maybe I should say “Y’all” more often.
I did give the Bitches their due, btw. But the comment thread to their recent post is priceless.
Thanks, Sis. Mannequin, I think? I’m too lazy to look it up right now 🙂
LOl about the afraid of horses – but horses ARE big, and you never know when one will turn on you and stomp your foot, you know, or explode or something.
Milla is simply STUNNING.
And I have nothing intelligent to say at all about the perfume product. And the word perfume ought to be in parentheses.
No, I meant to say that not only did the Smart Bitches just post about it this week, but that I had previously checked out that site a few months ago because someone in comments had mentioned that abomination. So I’ve seen it TWICE from Smart Bitches. Yikes. Once was enough.
I’m curious about their collection and processing facility though. Ew.
I wonder how much I could earn as a tester?
“Litchi fruit aromas dominate the nose, which also carries suggestions of white fruit and citrus. Of course you cant miss the floral notes of rose buds as well.”
(Stole that from here.)
Guess I won’t comment on how it caresses my palate . . .