Balls and Walnuts
more than you ever wanted to know
Old timer
Yes, we’re back in the land of Net access — Seattle. For some odd reason, my Blackberry would not work north of the border. Very weird and not a little annoying.
Check out Dean’s blog. Go now. Look at the lovely bstiya. Mmmmmm bstiya. B’stila. Whatever.
I want to tell you about this creepy exhibit at the Vancouver Science World museum. I wrote my friend about it this morning, and I hate hate HATE typing with my thumbs, so I’m going to cut and paste from the letter. I think she avoids my blog like the plague, so I’m probably safe. If not — sorry! At least I told you first!
Here goes:
The most memorable thing for me (in a disturbing way) was this one computer-aided thing which takes a picture of your face, then ages you by however much time you choose. We waited a long time to try this out. Ahead of us were four nearly identical willowy blonde 20-year-olds who all looked the same now and will all look the same at age 70. So I couldn’t see the point in them ALL doing it, but they insisted.
Then a young gal who looked like a New Zealander cut ahead of us (she was with the 4 Paris Hiltons). I whispered to Jake, “If you want to get back at her, say ‘Eeeeew, gross!’ when the computer shows her aged face.” That proved unnecessary, though, since her blonde and beautiful friends did it for us.
Then it was Jake’s turn (no way in hell I was going to do this. As it is, I’ve never gotten used to the appearance of middle-aged me). I don’t understand how the computer can predict an appearance post-puberty, since (to me, anyway) it seems so very random. But it bugged the hell out of me to see it take a kid who I think is rather goodlooking (way cuter than I was at his age) and make him over as a homely adult. Thankfully, Jake only decided to age himself to 50, but I found the whole thing way more unsettling than I had expected. I hurried him away from the exhibit, saying it was clearly fucked up. Jake didn’t seem the least bit perturbed.
***
The more I think about it, the more that bit of software annoys me. The algorithm produced a longer face with a progressively larger nose, deeper nasolabial folds, and artificial-looking creases elsewhere. I guess what disturbed me the most is that it didn’t bother to give Jake an adult face. Rather, it aged his pre-pubertal features.
Ew, you know? And while it didn’t phase my son, I can’t seem to get it out of my head.
We’re flying home tomorrow. One nice thing about vacations: I should have plenty to write about (and photos to post) for days to come.
D.
Get over it, man. It’s a computer program. If it made the hot chicks ugly, it would make your son(?) Jake, ugly too. Maybe you should have got a printed copy so that Jake could compare it in 40(?) years, to see the accuracy. He could then burn the picture in a pseudo-satanic ritual to send a message to you, where ever you may be (I’m assuming you’d be dead; No offense), telling you whether the computer algorithm was correct or not.
Oooookay . . .
In fact, I have every intention of being alive in 40 years. But I get your point.
I think I’ll stay away from Science World until that exhibit’s gone – sounds like something I really don’t want to see.
Your Blackberry issues are extra-weird when you consider that the device is a Canadian invention…
Maybe it didn’t like switching carriers when you came across the ol’ 49.