Balls and Walnuts
more than you ever wanted to know
Foreskin Thirteen
How do I feel right now? Don’t ask.
1. The synonym for foreskin, prepuce, also applies to the clitoral hood. They are considered homologous structures.
2. Someone has created a website featuring male foreskins. Lots of them. (That’s work safe, by the way — just a page of links to foreskin pictures.) I’m sorry — wieners are funky looking with or without these dealie-bobs.
3. Circumcized men need no longer have prepuce envy. These folks will sell you an “artificial retractable foreskin.”
4. As protected static taught me the other day, the inner surface of the foreskin is a mucus membrane. If it’s in Wikipedia, it must be true.
5. Also from Wikipedia . . . this warranted an OMFG from yours truly:
At birth, the foreskin is usually still fused with the glans. As childhood progresses the foreskin and the glans gradually separate, a process that may not be complete until the age of 17. Thorvaldsen and Meyhoff reported that average age of first foreskin retraction in Denmark is 10.4 years. Wright argues that forcible retraction of the foreskin should be avoided and that the child himself should be the first one to retract his own foreskin Premature retraction may be painful, and may result in infection.
6. Nonsurgical foreskin restoration is colloquially known as “tugging.”
7. The Holy Prepuce is “one of several relics attributed to Jesus.” I am not making this up. At one time or another, eighteen different Holy Prepuces have surfaced in Europe. Not surprisingly, Rome claims to have the Holy Prepuce.
8. I think I need to double-check my manuscript on this one, make sure I picked the right condition:
- Phimosis: One condition happens when the foreskin cannot be retracted (pulled back) behind the head (glans) of the penis. This is called phimosis. It is usually a condition found in children.
- Paraphimosis: The other condition, paraphimosis, is somewhat the opposite—the foreskin, after being pulled back, becomes trapped and then swollen behind the head (glans) of the penis.
9. Unlike Hank Hyena, I have never joked with another man about my lack of foreskin.
10. Apparently, a foreskin piercing is called, simply, “a foreskin piercing.” I had to wade through Dydoes, Apadydoes, Prince Alberts, and Ampallangs to find that out. Trust me, you really don’t want to know.
11. This YouTube vid claims an adult foreskin measures fifteen square inches. Yes, and my condoms are fifteen inches long.
If I blow them up first.
12. Aposthia is a rare condition in which the foreskin is absent at birth. Various sources claim that Moses, Jacob, and David were born aposthic, as was Mohammed. If a Jewish male is born without a foreskin, the Law requires that the mohel shed a drop of blood from the boy’s penis at the point where the foreskin would have been. This just goes to show that in my religion, you just can’t catch a lucky break.
13. And how can I have a Foreskin Thirteen without saying something about Smegma? They’re “an American experimental noise group formed in Pasadena, California in 1973 and currently based in Portland, Oregon.” Of course!
Leave a comment, and if I’m still alive tomorrow I’ll give you some linky lurve.
(I’m nothing if not overdramatic.)
Surfer’s sand-butt and thirteen pleasing sensations from Dean
Work is kicking protected static’s ass, too. What is it about work? Evil, evil work?
Pat’s Flickr blogging from the Superhero Tech Line — cool photo & storylet
You think I’ve had a hard time writing this week? Welcome to sxKitten’s dustbowl. Here, sxKitten, this is for you:
See them tumbling down,
Pledging their love to the ground!
Lonely, but free, I’ll be found,
Drifting along with the tumbling tumbleweeds . . .
Need more tumbling tumbleweeds? Here you go. With ghost antelopes!
That O’Brien. Everything is about sex to her.
Thorne, who hasn’t updated in a while (hint, hint), posts a black & white of her own.
D.
To my great surprise, I have a foreskin question. Is there any medical benefit to circumsision, or is it a purely religious/cultural practice? (The need for lubrication whilst wanking seems like a definite drawback, which started me wondering – why circumsise in the first place?)
Heh. You must have read my mind. I just finished reading an erotica story in which somebody rolled a foreskin back to allow an erection, which is just so many kinds of wrong. It ain’t like a backwards condom, y’all.
*sigh* Okay, I’ll help. What, particularly, is freaking you out about #5?
Damn. You mean if I hadn’t been snipped, I’d have been able to wank sans lube? That’s wank anywhere, any time?
My thirteen is up. And by the time you wake up, my Friday Flickr Babe should have posted, too. Maybe she’ll make you feel better.
The answer is a definite maybe. Certain kinds of penile cancer (extremely rare to begin with) are less common in circumsized men. I also seem to remember reading that women partnered to circumsized men have slightly lower rates of cervical cancer – but I don’t know if that finding has held up over time. There are also a number of controversial African studies suggesting that circumcision lowers HIV transmission rates – but my suspicion is that these findings also won’t hold up over time.
But none of these reasons are the sorts of things that would explain the widespread nature of the practice, particularly in pre-industrial societies (hell, pre-agrarian in many cases). In fact, preventing wanking was one of the accepted reasons for the practice during the Victorian era, so limiting sexual pleasure may be a large part of it.
Yeah, I’m not going to make any health-based arguments in support of circumcision. We’ve gotten into that before and in great detail, too.
Darla, I dunno. The thought of anything being “fused” to my glans . . . ew.
Dean — on my way. If only these patients wouldn’t show up EARLIER THAN THEIR APPOINTMENT TIME!
Years ago I had a septum piercing (I’ve quit wearing the jewellery, and the piercing itself, as far as I can tell, has largely grown in). I was at a country bar one night, not by choice, when this guy walks up to me, says “Hey, nice piercing,” and follows it up with “You ougtta try a foreskin piercing. It’s awesome!”
I walked away.
Also:
The word “ampallang” always makes me think of a character in William Gibson’s Virtual Light saying “Wang dang, my ampallang.” Later he’s referred to by another character as “that guy with the bolt through his johnson.”
Just so you know.
Woah. That’s some funky formatting…
Never mind… Found it. Gibson it is.
Thanks, protected static.
And thanks to the link to the earlier discussion, Doug. No opinion on circumsision, but I’ve never liked pierced ears on a baby.
Yup — I forgot to thank ps, too! Sorry.
As for ampallang’s and various other weenie-on-a-spit piercings, no thank you. *shiver* I wish someone would explain the attraction, considering the fact that these things are of dubious merit from a sexual satisfaction POV (to either party) — or am I mistaken about that?
I don’t know nuthin’ ’bout no foreskin retraction, but I do know a factory-installed foreskin can provide hours of amusement for a small boy. At 3 or so, MonkeyChild like to roll his up over his finger, then pull his finger out quickly to make a popping sound.
Not that you probably needed to know that.
LOL! It’s not like it becomes fused, silly. It’s that way to begin with, and loosens up.
Yeah, Dean–any time, any place–subject to legal restrictions, of course. 😉
I know the actual definition of the word ‘smegma’ and I’m proud to say I’ve never used it–until now that is.
Now then, seems our esteemed host needs some magic erin dust:
************
Use sparingly! It’s strong.
You rock, Doug. Thank you!
LOL!!! This is a pretty damn unique TT, Doug!!! I like it.
I was once blamed for the months of therapy and adult circumcision that a young man underwent because of my (according to him) “improper handling of his penis”, during my efforts to mercy fuck his virginity away. He may not have been my first uncut weenie at age 25, but he was definitely the first guy who had no idea how his owm penis worked. Turns out he had one of those problems that you describe above. I hate to be a bitch, but it was kinda funny, after the fact. Not so much while he was writhing in pain, during the attempted act and I was cringing in horrified embarrassment.
LOL TMI?? It’s all your fault. I haven’t even thought of that in years.
As for medical reasons for getting cut, my grandson’s pediatrician told my daughter that there is some medical justification in his opinion. Something about severe urinary infections that can actually kill a baby boy?? Tripped me right out.
Wow, that is lame. If I had one, you can bet I would at least read the manual on it.
Never TMI, Thorne. Not around this place. Now if you start posting pictures from the event, I might object . . .
Thanks for the, er, tips.