Balls and Walnuts
more than you ever wanted to know
What is the world coming to? *updated*
I don’t know how Blue Gal does it . . . how she tolerates wading through right wing blogs for Grade A tripe like this (emphasis mine):
There is a new chapter in the story of Yale’s continuing descent into the depths of moral degradation. Two days ago, Jonathan Holloway, the master of Calhoun College at Yale, sent out the following note:
“OK, well THIS is the most awkward college-wide e-mail I’ve ever had to send….
“The college showers are to be used by individuals for hygenic [sic] purposes only. They are not to be used by couples engaged in intimate activity–especially that kind of activity that leaves the showers in a decidedly less hygenic [sic] state.
“Several times since the start of the spring term some Hounies have come across a couple having the time of their lives in a shower stall. Last night the shower flooded and the bathroom could not be used for over 90 minutes. To the as yet unidentified couple, this may be pleasureable [sic] and exciting for you but it is a violation of community standards. Please stop.
“I really don’t want to explore this matter any further as I respect your individual privacy. But such continued brazen public displays of affection will only invite public embarrassment. I beg of you, let’s not go there.”
I can first of all confirm that this is a real memo, not a prank. It is not merely unfortunate but pathetic and disgusting that the Master needed to send such a note to us. I certainly wish that Master Holloway had not had to involve himself, but in the moral vacuum that has been created by Yale intellectuals, students seem to be left without even the most basic guidelines for proper and decent behavior.
Where to begin. The author, Dan Gelernter, strikes me as one of those Angry Virgins: I’m not getting any, but that’s okay because SEX OUTSIDE OF MARRIAGE IS EEEEVIL and all those people engaging in intimate congress in the showers are going to burn in H-E-Double-Toothpicks! But that’s an ad hominem argument based on little evidence other than Dan’s tone, his hyperbole (descent into the depths, yata yata), and his uber-fussy paranoia that we not think him capable of spelling errors — hygenic (sic)!
I think it’s fair to ask what sort of person feels the need to post this Puritanical bile-dripping screed. Any sane college student should be pissing his pants over the Administration’s plans for the Middle East. If he wants to vent his moral outrage, he would have ample material in what we as a nation have wrought with respect to Iraq, Guantanamo, Abu Ghraib, extraordinary rendition, the erosion of American civil liberties, the rape of our nation’s wealth, the bastardization of science to serve corporate interests, and so much more.
But no. A couple of students get nasty in the shower and plug it up (Blue Gal’s right. How do you do that? Go through a box of condoms and flush ’em down the drain?) and Dan’s panties are in a wad.
Read the comments to Dan’s post. Lots of lefties are trying to slap some sense into the boy. I doubt it will work, but it’s good fun while it lasts.
UPDATED:
Gotta love this comment from “On higher moral ground,” who leaves his flatulence without any website linkback (so we can’t, you know, show him some love):
Any correlation between the deepening depravity at Yale and the ever increasing 28% Jewish enrollment figures?
People have referred to the Jews as ‘mud people’ for centuries, is there perhaps some truth to this?
As a credit to Dan’s commenters, only one person rose to the bait. Two, if you count me.
D.
PS, aren’t you proud of me? I resisted the urge to title this post, “What is the world cumming to.”
that’s a fab illustration, shower guy. xoxo and thanks for the linky, but I’m not gonna cover this because you did it so well.
Why, yes, I am proud of you, especially after you got me all excited by titling your last post ‘My Wife’s Ass’.
Clogging the shower drains?
I’m not understanding this.
I’m clearly too old and out of touch with today’s youth. But then, I was essentially out of touch when I was in my twenties anyway.
Thanks again, BG. And is it just me, or is there something homoerotic in the way Gelernter defers so abjectly to THE MASTER? Not that homoerotic is bad, mind you, but Gelernter should at least ‘fess up that it’s hetero sex which bothers him so much.
Dean, you have an ass closer to home you can worship 🙂
Suisan, I don’t understand either. Did they lose a dildo? Were they giving each other enemas in the shower? I mean, a few details might have bolstered the author’s “depths of moral degradation” argument.
BTW, who’s up for Live Blogging tonight?
i will attempt to drop by teh live blogging…and i think that article’s hilarious. did you know, though, that at UMass you can get fined or even kicked out of school if you get caught in the wrong sex bathroom? there used to be signs on the doors in my dorm that said “if you identify as a male [[note the wording there]] it is illegal for you to enter this bathroom”.
oops, i hit too soon. anyway, and then after break there appeared a sign on my friend’s bathroom door–he lives in a suite, three bedrooms, a common room and a bathroom, and i used to use their bathroom when i had to (ewwwwww) but now there’s a sign that says i have to go to the public one on the first floor or to a girls’ suite. pssshhhh…but seriously, yalies, there have GOT to be better places to have sex, GOT to.
Silly yalies. Anyway, we had co-ed bathrooms in the dorms and no one ever used them for sex — not to my knowledge. That’s what the dorm rooms were for.
Come on Doug! Don’t you know what the showers were used for after 2am? Back then everyone knew how to do it *without* clogging the drains.
Rella
I want to go to Yale, really really bad. *sigh*
Oh, come on, Lyvvie. You don’t have to go to Yale to get screwed in the showers. I’m sure your husband will oblige.
Rella, I was often up at 2AM playing Spades or Bridge. If anyone was getting boinked in the bathroom, I’d have known it. Most of ’em were too busy studying to think about sex.
No live blogging for me. I spent the day at an SCA event and I’m so tired I can barely type.
Bah, kids these days! (shakes cane) In our day, we knew enough to not clog the damn drain!
Feh. I’ll give him some ‘depths of moral degradation’ in which he may spelunk to his id’s content (contempt?). DC isn’t that far from New Haven – I know some leather queens who…
Whoops. Sorry. Was that my outside voice?
Oh, and check out Gelertner’s bio here… I could almost believe that the ‘mud people’ comment was delivered in an intending-to-be-ironic-but-failing-miserably-because-the-intertubes-don’t-convey-sarcasm-well sort of way.
Almost.
Fwiw, I read the excerpt as astonishment and horror over the public nature of the nookie (and the resulting mess that made the stall filthy and clogged) other than the simple act of nookie itself.
Maybe it’s my practical and dare I say prudish midwestern upbringing, but I’d be pretty upset if that happened in my dorm shower. Out here most of us are raised to believe that sex is a special thing, shared with someone you care for, and should be respectful, kind, and romantic. Such public displays of passion, when just anyone can walk in – and endure the resulting plumbing fiasco – are revolting.
I know you won’t agree, and that’s cool, but I believe that someone who wants to bang in a public shower isn’t someone worth making love with. It’s just plain trashy. I’m not saying it doesn’t happen in Iowa, I’m sure that it does, but it still strikes me as utterly disgusting.
I have some good memories of wet and wild wickedness (fading horribly quickly, I might add…), so I have no problem with sex in the shower or tub.
However, I’m still stuck on the “clogging the drains” bit.
Upon further reflection, though, I’m not entirely sure I want to know what the culprit was…
*shudder*
Static: I think that must be the father of the author. The author was Dan Gelernter, but that link is to David Gelernter. Raises questions of influence, though, doesn’t it? Both at Yale. Both Gelernters. Naw, I’m sure it’s just coincidence 😛
Tam: I’m objecting to Gelernter’s high-horse tone and his hyperbole. Is sex in the public showers trashy? Perhaps (for me, it depends on exactly how ‘public’ these showers were), but I can’t see getting so incensed over this as to (A) use it as an example of Yale’s spiralling moral degradation, and (B) waste breath over it at all when there are far more nasty things happening in the world.
Kris: I was brainstorming the drains last night with Shaina (live blogging). I’m afraid I grossed her out.
Ya know, I missed that entirely. All the more reason to start cracking down on Wingnut Welfare, eh? Once you get them accustomed to handouts, they never get over it; the cycle of dependancy must be broken now, before it harms yet another generation.
Hey, that’s what they’ve been spouting for years – time that they lived by their own words for a change, dammit!
(Of course, if Gelernter the Younger’s squeamishness about Teh Sex0r is any indication, we may have a little more time between generations than is… customary.)
OMG. College students having sex? Obviously a sign of the apocalypse.
Just as obviously, I’m tired (Carl left this morning at 5:30, and I couldn’t get back to sleep), because I simply assumed the bathroom flooded because they were on top of the drain. Maybe I need to see a picture of the bathroom in question. Or maybe I should just go to bed. Though I’ll probably be up all night trying to think of ways they could’ve clogged the drain. Thanks so much, Doug.
This reminds me of the showers Shaun Attwood describes in his prison blog. Ugh. http://jonsjailjournal.blogspot.com/
I can’t find the particular entry, I just remember the basic fact that the water never drains out and the smart prisoners never shower barefoot.
Spiralling degradation – hee hee. It ain’t nothin’ college student’s haven’t been doin’ for years. Which is one reason why I got out of the dorms as fast as possible. Even sharing my Freshman suite bathroom with 4 other girls was a bit much, sometimes. Guess I’m a tetch germaphobic. (And let’s not even get into splooge-aphobic. You should see my disgusting sperm imitation!)
Yes, I am all lesbian.
BTW, where do you do this “live blogging”? I still don’t get the concept…