Hotter than Hell — now, more than just a KISS album! Although, admittedly, the tongue-action of the incubus protagonist, Daunuan, might well put Gene Simmons to shame. This is the third novel in Kessler’s Hell on Earth series, and I think it’s her best yet.
Here’s the setup. Daun’s boss, Pan, wants to make Daun his second-in-command — Prince of Lust to Pan’s King. To make his bones, Daun must first seduce a good woman, Virginia. No easy task, since Virginia is numb from the brain down (she has her reasons) and Daun is used to seducing people who are already 9/10 of their way to Hell. He’s a deal-closer, in other words. Damning someone destined for Heaven is not in his job description.
To make matters more interesting, one infernal hit-demon after another appears, each trying to transform Daun into a sulfurous smudge pot. Who is behind these attacks? It may be an enemy from Daun’s past, or it may be further evidence of the political shakeups Kessler first introduced us to in Hell’s Bells (see my interview with the author here).
Jezebel, heroine of the series’ first two books, makes an appearance, and her presence afflicts Daun constantly, but Daun is the true star here. Think of him as evil with annoying “good” tendencies. The cleverness of Kessler’s universe lies in the fact that Daun damns only those who have damned themselves. Thus, the reader can enjoy Daun’s nasty ways and not feel guilty about it. Case in point: the opening, wherein Daun’s would-be fellatrix is a Black Widow-esque serial killer. If you had concerns whether you’d be able to feel sympathy for one of the Infernal, you needn’t worry.
It’s Virginia’s story which elevates this novel, however. Frankly, I was surprised by the direction of Virginia’s story arc. I don’t usually think of paranormal romance as a risk-taking genre*, but Kessler definitely took the plunge on this one. The result was far more poignant and memorable than the formulaic ending I thought I saw coming after the first hundred pages. And to say much more than that would be spoiling.
So, yes, this one’s every bit as tasty a mind candy as Kessler’s last two books, but there’s some meat here, too. Quibbles? I miss Lucifer, who has been (IMO) Kessler’s most intriguing character. I’m glad she gave Daun his own feature, so to speak, but I’m still burning a candle for the Prince of Darkness.
Hmm. That last clause, taken out of context, would probably exclude me from winning a higher political office in this country. Oh, well.
D.
*Flirting with bestiality using the gimmick of shapeshifting? *YAWN*
The book is Hotter than Hell by Jackie Kessler. Loved it. Seriously.
Jackie, I’ll try to do a serious review sometime soon . . .
D.
. . . in Paul Meloy’s Islington Crocodiles, to be exact.
For the last few years, I’ve written reviews, first for Tangent, and now for The Fix. There have been ups and downs. For a brief stint, I was an object of derision over at an Asimov’s discussion group. One guy took objection to the fact that I gave him consistently bad reviews; I took objection to his assumption, “Because my story is published in a first rank magazine, it must be good.” Another guy tried to rape me on his livejournal. No one has shown up on my doorstep with a loaded gun, probably because the pennies-per-word most zines pay would barely cover taxi fare to the airport.
And then there are all those wonderful folks who email me, telling me how delighted they were that I understood their story — that at least one person understood their story. Since I write “mixed reviews,” dishing out the good and the bad of every story, many of these folks could have taken umbrage. To a man (and woman), they didn’t get offended, but were really very appreciative. Paul Meloy was one such author.
Here’s my review of “Dying in the Arms of Jean Harlow,” and here’s my review of the titular “Islington Crocodiles.” Eugie Foster has assigned me the review of Meloy’s collection, and I was just getting started on that when I read the acknowledgments. Woot! By the way, I love the way Meloy wraps up his acknowledgments . . .
And a word of thanks to Marina Voikhanskaya, psychiatrist, psychotherapist
and facilitator, who once told me to ‘shit, or get off the pot.’
Well, you hold the result of that counsel in your hands. Oh, yes.
Will I still be able to give an impartial review? You betcha. If there are any stinkers in this collection, readers of The Fix will hear about it. I like Meloy’s style but I’m not a blind fanboy. I’ve renounced authors before (Clive Barker, do you hear me? No? Oh, well.) Nothing harsher than a disappointed fan.
D.
There’s an odd sensation when someone you know, but don’t know well, reveals something about his past that makes you realize, Damn, small world. Like when my boss back at University of Texas figured out that he and my wife had gone to the same elementary school. For that matter, he was the residency classmate of my competitor down in Eureka. Small, small world.
I had that sensation many times while reading Steve Martin’s memoir, Born Standing Up. He’s driving a yellow ‘66 Mustang up to San Francisco and I’m thinking That’s my car! And there’s the dysfunctional family, and his drive to perform, and the places he did stand up that I had visited as a teenager (The Ice House, The Troubador). Martin’s about twenty years older than me, but his story felt oh, so familiar.
This is a great memoir. I haven’t touched a memoir since whatsisname the Irish bloke with the drunk father pissed me off with his whining, and his complete failure to accept responsibility for his own alcoholism and his crash-and-burn marriage. I tried reading Robert Graves’s memoir after that, but there, too, the guy couldn’t manage a little honesty when he wrote about his adolescent crushes — all the guys formed these romances with underclassmen; they were innocent flirtations, I tell you, innocent! (I much prefer T. E. Lawrence’s brand of homosexuality. Paraphrase of the opening of Seven Pillars of Wisdom: Life was rough out there in the desert. We took what pleasure we could of one another. Deal with it.)
Martin’s memoir, as the title suggests, focuses largely (but not entirely) on his development as a standup comic, his rise to superstardom, and his departure from that narrow slice of show biz. Nothing struck me as dishonest. True, there were odd moments, such as his inclusion of early romances and his complete neglect of his later and presumably more serious relationships, but give the man his privacy. That’s one of the take-homes from this book, by the way: the living contradiction of an exhibitionistic, intensely private man.
If this Palin runs with McCain, I might even vote Republican.
The wife and I consider this one of the best comic scenes ever. It has it all, the writing, the acting, but above all else the timing. We find it vewwy . . . wisible. And it never stops being wisible, no matter how many times we watch it.
The move and the new job has killed my drive to write. Used to be that if I wasn’t writing, I was at least thinking about writing. I would be thinking about a particular story or looking for new stories. But not now. The muse is in stasis.
Meanwhile, I’ve taken on more critting assignments than I can probably handle . . . but I really really want to read Summer‘s new book (which isn’t on that page — whuddup widdat?) And Paul Meloy’s collection, Islington Crocodiles, is finally out, and Meloy is a stupendous writer . . . and Jackie’s gonna send the Furies after me if I don’t review her new book . . .
Oy.
D.
Dan wins the Ferret Name-Off. Ferret Bueller it is. For his creative talents, Dan wins a $25 gift certificate to PetSmart, whether he wants it or not.
Know what’s cute? Baby ferrets.
As much as I would love to see these little guys firsthand, ferret breeding is not for the amateur. Unfixed female ferrets (jills) stay in heat until they’re bred, and if they’re not bred, they can develop life-threatening health problems. Unfixed male ferrets (hobs) are aggressive and they mark their territory — and themselves — “with a mixture of slimy oils and urine.” Yeah, I’ve know guys like that, too.
***
I have a new review up at The Fix: Hub Magazine issues 51-55. From this collection, there’s one must-read. It’s a poem, “The Real Tooth Fairy.” I loved it. Even my family of poetry-despisers loved it.
***
Speaking of reviews, I’ve dipped my big toe into Jackie Kessler‘s latest, the hopefully named Hotter than Hell. Jackie sent me an ARC a while back and I’ve been remiss. (I’ve been knee-deep in Sara Gran’s Dope and Come Closer . . . wow. Quite a bit different than Jackie’s work, though.) I’m still waiting to see how Jackie handles a full blown (heh) sex scene from the male POV. As I’ve said, oh, somewhere, a realistic sex scene from the male POV would be pretty damned boring. Equal parts yeah, do that, and one Mississippi two Mississippi three Mississippi, and what do you mean, don’t do that? and Good God, how long am I going to have to wait to do this again? and too fast too fast think think babies with kwashiorkor gangrenous toes Tom Cruise on Oprah’s sofa just about any photo of Amy Winehouse Tucker Carlson’s bow tie ooh yeah that’s a good one Tucker Carlson’s bow tie phew! that was a close one.
So um yeah waiting to see how Jackie handles this one.
But oy, Jackie, the cover art? If I were to catch Teh Gay, it wouldn’t be with this Rob Lowe wannabe. Yes, yes, I know you don’t get control over cover art. And I know your publisher doesn’t give a damn about the opinion of your hetero male readers. Just sayin’.
D.
I’m beginning to wonder if Florence Stonebreaker’s books are all about the covers and the cover copy. They’re not erotica; sex, when it happens, seems to be rough and joyless, more about the power relationship between the two participants than about pleasure. There’s an attention to psychology in each book, a lack of humor, and a grittiness that leads me to think these two books are neither romance nor erotica. They’re chick noir.
In Nurses Wild, for example, Nurse Velma’s having an affair with a married doc, Dr. Gregg; meanwhile, she has to deal with the unwanted attentions of Dr. Loerb while trying to avoid her estranged husband, Kenny. Velma separated from Kenny because he took all her money and cheated on her. But as a flashback in Chapter 2 relates, she just can’t get rid of the bastard. He barges his way into her place in order to drink her booze, take her money, and take her body, too.
In the end she simply lay quietly and accepted him, knowing what his frenzy was all about. This was not love and in a sense, not even passion. This was the anger of a rejected, frustrated weakling of a man, trying to gain some small feeling of triumph by the subjection and penetration of her body.
Pop psychology, perhaps, but it was more than I expected; and it gets better a few minutes later, when Kenney gets his second wind. (Kind of amazing, in my opinion, given how much he’s boozing it up.)
“You’ve had your pound of flesh and more,” she told him. “Hit the road.”
“What I had was a joke. Listen, lady. I don’t want to be despised. Before I leave this house I want to be treated — just once — like a husband. After that you can go to your floozie’s hell with your doctor boy friend.”
Aghast, she realized that he had sensed and been affronted by her passivity when he possessed her. She would not be rid of him until she had given him back the illusion of an ego.
That’s what amazed me: not just the marital rape, but this second subjugation, where to avoid his abuse she has to forget her hatred for the man and conjure her earlier feelings, the feelings she had for him when they were young.
I haven’t finished either book, but I’ve skipped around quite a bit. Stonebreaker has a problem with narrative drive. I can’t seem to develop much concern for Velma, for example, perhaps because she’s such a victim — and the suspense of “let’s see if Velma grows a spine or not” really doesn’t grip me.
Kitty, the Wild French Nurse, might be a more compelling character. You have to give kudos to a nurse who, in the first few pages, expresses her contempt for her patients and her wish they would die:
These loathsome old men, calling her baby, cutie, or just hey, you pretty one — they ought to be thinking about their funeral expenses, not ogling the breasts and backside of a good-looking nurse. These horrid lumps of lewd flesh who assumed that the good-looking nurse was on call to serve every single need of theirs. Every need.
At times Kitty could tolerate them, finding them more amusing than annoying. But there were other times when she wished they would all die like sick dogs. This was one of those times.
Yeah, maybe I ought to set Velma aside and spend my time with Kitty. Venom over victim.
D.
PS: For those of you who aren’t tired of my Hillary-bashing ways, here’s a rec for Young Hillary Clinton.
Wild French Nurse, by Florence Stonebreaker.
Do you see the error in composition?
My answer to that question in just one moment. First, from the back cover:
NAKED PASSIONS . . . swept through her mind as she tried to conquer her strange desires and twisted lusts by running from each man she met. Until the strain becomes too much for the French angel of mercy and she is forced by vicious circumstances into an explosive affair. Her wild and intimate revelries with various men lead her to the violent and sinful conclusion of her passionate . . . LOVE TRYSTS!
And I still don’t know WTF this book will be about. It’s bound to be violent and explosive, though.
The error in composition, in my opinion: His right leg seems to continue on as her left forearm. If you look at it that way, it seems like there’s a tiny man with his legs wrapped around the Angel of Mercy’s waist.
Maybe that is her strange desire . . . a twisted lust for LITTLE MEN!
D.
I think I beat Kate to the punch: I’m the first kid on the block with my very own Stonebreaker.
I’ll scan in the cover art this evening. Here’s the front. The back has identical cover art.
Back copy:
SEX GAME
It began with “innocent” coffee-break couplings between overworked nurse and doctor—Velma Edwards and Surgeon Michael Gregg—both unhappily married. It burgeoned into a deadly triangle of ruined reputations when Dr. Alan Loerb wanted to make it a threesome.
It snowballed to tragedy when a drunken auto accident mutilated the beauty of Sylvia Benton, in whose arms Velma’s husband had sought solace.
But the real blast came when Irene, Dr. Gregg’s swinging wife, brought in her pistol and her young lover to blow the lid off!
Their passionate embrace—reflected in the bell of the good doctor’s stethoscope. How steamy is that?
D.
From National Defense, via Sadly, No (hat tip to Daily Kos):
Now a fixture at Department of Homeland Security science and technology conferences, SIGMA is a loosely affiliated group of science fiction writers who are offering pro bono advice to anyone in government who want their thoughts on how to protect the nation.
The group has the ear of Department of Homeland Security Undersecretary Jay Cohen, head of the science and technology directorate, who has said he likes their unconventional thinking. Members of the group recently offered a rambling, sometimes strident string of ideas at a panel discussion promoting the group at the DHS science and technology conference.
Oh, those brilliant SF authors! However can we thank them for their altruism? And there’s no telling what gems they might come up with. After all, the late Arthur C. Clarke thought up geosynchronous satellites, and Jules Verne predicted “helicopters, submarines, projectors, jukeboxes, and other later devices.” Larry Niven gets credit for a variety of innovations such as the ramjet spacecraft, which propels itself between stars using intersellar hydrogen for its fuel.
Speaking of Niven . . .
Among the group’s approximately 24 members is Larry Niven, the bestselling and award-winning author of such books as “Ringworld†and “Lucifer’s Hammer,†which he co-wrote with SIGMA member Jerry Pournelle.
Niven and Pournelle are on this group? Awesome! I can’t wait to hear —
Niven said a good way to help hospitals stem financial losses is to spread rumors in Spanish within the Latino community that emergency rooms are killing patients in order to harvest their organs for transplants.
Whaaaaa?
So Larry Niven channels Robin Cook, and he has the ear of Homeland Security. Lovely. Guess it was too much to ask that he would offer solutions to our dependence on foreign oil, global warming, or the world food shortage. No, all Niven has to give us is a healthcare crisis solution that has been with us for as long as there have been social classes: kill the poor.
Larry, I never liked your books. Ringworld, your “masterpiece,” is a bloated, boring dreckfest populated with secondrate cartoon characters. You and Jerry used Inferno to take potshots at an author whose belches were more engaging than your best work, and Mote in God’s Eye went on and on and on, with an ending that hardly seemed worth the bother. Oh, and don’t forget more characterizations straight from the back of a box of Captain Crunch. And that was you in your prime, Larry. Well, guess what, you just jumped the Puppeteer. Time to put up your feet, drink your Budweiser, and kvetch about those kids today, cuz that’s all you’re good for. STFU already and go to Hell, where you can be buried like you buried Vonnegut, beneath a gravestone reading “He went to an ER for a simple case of appendicitis, and they removed his liver and kidneys.”
Vile. Absolutely vile.
D.