Balls and Walnuts
more than you ever wanted to know
Potato Fry
Bear with me. I have a fast, easy, delicious potato recipe for you. But first, Vulcan camel toe:
Here’s me and the wife:
Me: Karen! My ‘male camel toe’ search pulled up Spock and Kirk!
Karen: Which one has the camel toe?
Me: Spock.
Karen: I knew it. Nimoy has no shame.
Me: Of course he has no shame. He’s half Vulcan. Except for some occasional bouts of horniness, he’s emotion-free.
Yes, yes, I know: we are silly people.
In other news: I wrote close to 4200 words today. All I can say is, wow. The muse likes chick lit a lot more than SF, I guess. But what do you expect from a chick?
(Does this mean women have male muses?)
Okay, I’ll STFU already and get down to business. I’m afraid I can’t remember where I learned this recipe. It’s similar to the Commander’s Kitchen recipe for Potatoes Lyonnaise, except the potatoes are boiled first rather than baked. Boiling is faster and the end result is much better. These potatoes are crispy on the outside, creamy on the inside, while Potatoes Lyonnaise are crispy/leathery on the outside, dry on the inside.
Potato Fry
Idaho potatoes: one for each person, if they’re big eaters
Canola oil for frying
salt and spice mixture (see below)
Peel the potatoes and slice them into 2/3-inch-tall disks. This means you should get about five disks from a typical Idaho spud. Simmer gently in salted water until tender — you should be able to pass a skewer through the center of a disk with minimal resistance.
With two potatoes, it took me 10 to 15 minutes to get them just right. Don’t over-boil them or they will fall apart.
Transfer the potatoes with a slotted spoon to a paper towel. Don’t fret if the potatoes have fallen apart a bit. As long as the chunks are at least 3/4 inch across, they’re still worth frying.
Make sure the potatoes are dry before frying. Pat them with another paper towel, if necessary. Sprinkle with spices and salt. I like to use one part salt, one part spice mixture, with the spices consisting of paprika, black pepper, onion powder, garlic powder, and cumin or coriander if I want an Indian touch. You’ll be adding more of this at the end.
Fry the potatoes on each side. They’ll crisp up quickly over high heat, so don’t figure on this step taking much more than five minutes. Taste one of the small potatoes (don’t worry, at least one of your disks will have broken into small bits during the boiling step) and season to taste.
You can drain these on paper towels if you like. Enjoy.
I make these as an accompaniment to steak or buffalo burgers. Speaking of buffalo burgers,
Wow. There’s enough male camel toe in that link to last you to 2010.
D.
LOL.
I don’t know about anybody else, but I do have a male muse.
‘Cept I think he’s gay, as he explained to me the other day that to put my lead character in a purple top and green pants makes a walking fashion disaster.
Gee, thanks, Doug. Taunt me with the fact that we can’t get Idaho potatoes here. 🙁
As if Spock wasn’t bad enough, I made the mistake of clicking the link! I really hope I’m not supposed to find that attractive ;o)
You mean my female-seeming muse might be a gay male? I’d never considered that possibility!
Darla, you should be able to use any potato which does not fall apart when boiled.
Jona, I’m not sure attractive is the word for it.
Vulcan camel toes, gay male muses, and potato fry and buffalo burger recipes. I don’t know Walnut, but I’d be a little concerned about what this chick lit writing is doing to you!
I’m female (er, or at least my body is) and I have a male, bisexual, gleefully sadomasochistic, batshit insane muse. I call him The Bastard. I wrote an entry dedicated to him today, which is why I feel compelled to break my lurking streak here and reply.
Oh and BTW, I hope you realize you are lucky to have a muse who digs chick-lit. My muse digs nothing as saleable as chick-lit; if I left The Bastard to his own devices, he’d have me write something like a cross between Shakespearean tragedy, gay romance, and sadomasochistic porn.
Which, uh…is pretty much what I’m writing, come to think of it.
Damn him.
My muse is a drunken Scotsman in a kilt who spends most of his time in pubs or stabbing people with his sword (and no inuendo intended here; I only wish he’d stab my Internal Editor already) and when he’s home he empties all my Whisky, flirts with the plotbunnies and generally creates havoc. If he comes up with ideas, they’ll involve torture, gay bondage, and plot twists that will drive future agents/editors insane.
something like a cross between Shakespearean tragedy, gay romance, and sadomasochistic porn.
That sounds pretty cool, actually.
God! Doug, My Eyes! My EYES! I’ll never look at Spock the same way again.
My muse is a woman who is self-destructive, curses with amazing skill, travels through time to whisper in my ear all she has seen and done (never good), who, I’m sure, suffers from PMT 24/7, but who also manages to be charming, humorous, entertaining and surprising. God, what a bitch!
My muse has gone off on a drinking binge. I just hope it didn’t drag along somebody else’s muse for company.
Meanwhile, I’m all by myself staring at guys privates badly displayed in lycra. Hey, at least no one’s wearing an obvious male enhancement product.
Tchah. They should take a fashion clue from ballet dancers.
We need to gather all of our muses in the same room and get ’em all drunk. Let’s drink gallons of beer. Gabriele, will your muse play host?
Kate,
he dragged mine, but no problem. I’m used to it.
Doug,
do you all want to get ideas that involve torture, gay bondage, and plot twists that will drive future agents/editors insane? :rolleyes:
I thought the original camel toe post was a hoot but this is the capper! Laughing way too hard!
really, akabini (I’m over at her house enjoying her high speed) and I did not need to see that.
Speaking of food, have you heard of dukkah?
http://www.herbcompanion.com/recipes/12_01_05-dukkah
Had some at the wine bar up here and bartender said it’s all the rage in winebars in Portland. Yep, looking up to those Portland winebars, you betcha.
Anyhow, I bet you could come up with some tasty spice variations.
Yup, I’ve heard of dukkah but I haven’t tried making it yet. The spice mixture you linked to looks great (although I prefer almonds to hazelnuts).
So — what did you object to most, Nimoy or the bikers?
Nimoy.