Balls and Walnuts
more than you ever wanted to know
The bane of my existence
I should have been a veterinarian. I’ll bet they don’t have to deal with nosebleeds.
Oops! My bad.
I pinched that photo from PetPlace. Poor little guy. I wonder how it happened. Pawfight with a Pomeranian? A long and troubled history with cocaine? Chronic nose-picking?
Truly, nosebleeds are the bane of any ENT’s existence. Some defy our best efforts at control. Today, I spent at least five hours working on one person’s nose — and I’m biting my lip, waiting for the ICU to call me with the inevitable, “Dr. Hoffman, sorry to break this to you, but . . .”
Anyway, I’m exhausted. EXHAUSTED. I wanted to tell you about the June 2006 issue of Harper’s, which is amazing. It’s as AMAZING as I am EXHAUSTED, that’s how amazing it is. Buy it.
What? Why is it amazing? You mean my word isn’t good enough for you?
Well, you’ll just have to wait for an explanation, because I’m EXHAUSTED.
Thirteen crushes tomorrow. No names, because last time I used names, Maureen was mean.
D.
Thirteen crushes?
Chiles.
Tomatoes.
Ice.
Oranges.
Lemons.
Pineapples.
Nuts. Ouch. No, really. OW!
Garlic.
Hopes.
Mint.
Marshmallows.
Charlize. Since ‘2 Days in the Valley’.
Nadine. Age 12. Most painful. Ever.
Dean, you are so literal.
And . . . crushed marshmallows? Huh?
What about Grape crush, god I miss having grape flavoured anything. Damned Brits with their blackcurrants.
Oh OWCHIE!!!
Poor pup.
This happened to one of our dogs – he got kicked by a horse. The vet said just tie him to the tree until it stopped bleeding. (which it did eventually)
I suppose you can’t do that to your patients though…
And . . . crushed marshmallows? Huh?
See, if you’d made it 12 things I’d have been fine. It was the thirteenth that got me.
[…] I’ve written about nosebleeds before, but not in any helpful way. Since Dan wants a post on nosebleeds, and since I’m easy, here it is. But read my disclaimer first. […]