Balls and Walnuts
more than you ever wanted to know
Bring on the Guardcocks
My beta and gamma readers know what I’m talking about, but for the rest of you, that title requires an explanation.
In the beginning of my soon-to-be NYT-Bestseller Nest (um, you know, a bestseller after it gets bought & published), a group of National Guardcocks* commit an atrocity involving refugees from an impoverished nation to the south.
Imagine my delight when President Bush announced his intention of stationing our National Guard at the Mexican border. Here I’ve written a satire of our neocon theocracy, and our government wants to make it an even BETTER satire.
Which brings me to my question: should I do something with the Minutemen? Only, in the parlance of the novel, they would be Minutecocks.
My-NOOT cocks. Get it? Heh heh. Heh heh. Maybe it’s just me, but these cock jokes never get tired.
I think I’ll have our villains pin the atrocity on the Minutecocks. Yeah. I like that. And it won’t even take much of a rewrite.
By the way. Is it just me, or do other people have trouble getting laid in their dreams, too?
D.
*Reminder for what seems like the umpteenth time: my characters are, as Maureen likes to call them, Giant Budgie People. I think a budgie is the same as a parakeet, but I’m not sure about that.
I love this. [decisive tug on the tunic and settling back in the captain’s chair] Make it so.
Minutecock. *snickering*
Looking forward to reading this one.
Oh, by the way, found a link that the handsome Professor Snape might want to check out
http://redpiratemel.livejournal.com/134008.html#cutid1
it’s worth scrolling down the whole thread.
Kate: I shall, Captain! (Settle down, Cap’n. I was talkin’ to t’other Cap’n.)
Thanks for the link, Beard. I asked the Professor to leave a comment, too 😉
So… if the National Guardcocks are Giant Budgie People, and they wore Speedos, which we call here in Australia, Budgie-Smugglers; would the National Guardscock who wore Speedos, now be wearing… man-smugglers?
Apparently, the two birds are the same, just called different things in different countries.
You are correct that a budgie is aka a parakeet. The proper word is budgerigar which is a particualr type of Australian parakeet.
I always imagine a Pirate, who’s been out to sea a long time, shouting “Buggery, Ar! but I’m a bit twisted and not many folks appreciate my amusings. (“I’m the Gay Pirate Roberts in a lilac chenille nightgown Ahoy! I say, Ahoy!)
I’m now wondering how you could work other cocks into your story. Stop cocks, Cock rings, Cock the walk, cock your snoot, cock your head, cockadoodledo!
How about a Thursday thirteen – can you come up with 13 cocks?
Ok now, I really must get breakfast, this low blood sugar is making me silly.
har hee hee *snort* minute cocks, abwahahaaaa. *snickersnigger*
Hmmmm… Maybe word’s gotten out in your dream-verse about those minutecocks. You might want to change the name to 90-minutecocks, or maybe humongococks or something.
Just a thought.