Balls and Walnuts
more than you ever wanted to know
Bits and pieces
Not sure why, but I’m feeling sapped this evening. The muse wants me to read, not write, and I’d be a fool to ignore her.
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We watched movies this weekend. We watch so few movies that we would lose money on Net Flix, that’s how video-starved we are around here. Here’s the rundown:
David Cronenberg’s A History of Violence: four thumbs up. This one is worth a blog entry of its own, particularly as the subject matter dovetails well with our discussion of the violence in V for Vendetta.
Kronk’s New Groove, Disney’s sequel to The Emperor’s New Groove. Jake watched this by himself. Afterwards, he came upstairs and announced that it sucks balls, whereupon I corrected him, saying that the proper phrase was, “it sucks monkey balls,” preferably using a colorful adjective to modify ‘monkey.’ This sparked an argument as to whether ‘monkey’ was strictly necessary. I countered with the intrinsic funniness of words containing ‘k’ sounds (as I learned in my Comedy Writing Secrets book), so Karen said, “Okay, then, ‘it sucks toucan balls.'” This led to a discussion of whether toucans have balls, and whether the birds in my novel have external genitalia. (No. The males’ penises evert during intercourse, snake-fashion.) Jake stuck to his guns and insisted that the movie only sucked balls. End of argument.
No word as to why it sucked balls.
Good Night, and Good Luck: again, this one is worth a post of its own. In brief: while this film choked me up several times, it is deeply flawed. I’ll get into that some other time. We forced Jake to watch most of it, even though “It’s in black and white!” Karen countered with, “Didn’t you know that in the past, everything was in black and white?” and I added, “Yes, color is a relatively recent invention of the human mind,” thereby proving that you don’t need marijuana to talk like a stoner.
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Maureen recently recommended Chez Piggy’s Caramel Pecan Tart. I made it yesterday, and I must say, Maureen, you know your pecans. Also, welcome to WordPress. How does it feel to say no to the dark side?
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One last note on the pecan tart recipe. As written, the recipe neglects to tell you to add the sugar to the flour when you make the crust. It’s an obvious error, but if you’re the kind of person who follows recipes to the letter, you’ll be left with an icky, tasteless crust.
I added about a half teaspoon of salt to the crust, by the way, and another half teaspoon of salt to the nut mixture. It didn’t seem right to omit the salt. Since I have never tried this one without the salt, I can’t say whether I helped it or hurt it.
Time to work on the morning post!
D.
Hi Doug
I was going to rent “Good Night and Good Luck” … how deeply flawed is flawed?
It can’t be as bad as the movie I watched, and reviewed the other night on my blog … Attack of the Crab Monsters … one of Roger Corman’s.
Hi Doug – Coincidentally, I made your pad thai last night. I cheated, buying a sauce (President’s Choice). It wasn’t bad, certainly better than other bought sauces I’ve tried. I cut way back on the amount per your instructions. I knew reading your recipe I’d been using too much sauce in the past. This time I think I cut it back too much, but overall, the results were sooo much better than any of my previous pad thai attempts.
I’d recommend the fantasy film “MirrorMask,” co-written by Neil Gaiman. It does not suck.
Hi Crystal. Go ahead and rent it. It’s worth it for David Strathairn’s performance alone, and for Murrow’s words, which are, I gather, reproduced with religious faithfulness.
Well, Maureen, now you have a starting point, right? I really think the composition of the sauce is not nearly as important as the AMOUNT of the sauce. I suspect your noodle package might have been bigger than my noodle package. That would account for the discrepancy.
Jim, I’ll look for it 😉
I can attest, having watched it 4 times, that Kronk’s New Groove does indeed suck balls. I’d have said llama balls, myself (because I’ve seen it’s predecessor about 40 times, and yanno, ’cause llamas are just way funny).
I’m sure there’s something altogether wrong about comparing the sizes of your respective “noodle packages” in an online forum. I’d say something about “someone please think of the children” but you’ve already taught your son the importance of modifying the phrase “it sucks balls” for humourous effect, so I suspect any such plea would fall on deaf ears.
And I very much enjoyed A History of Violence. Watched it two nights in a row at the Evans.
Hi sxKitten. Thank heavens I was spared the trauma.
Pat, looks like I’m in movie-blogging mode this week. See this morning’s post 😉
I’m planning to go see V for Vendetta tonight, actually. And I got Serenity from my sister for my birthday, and I plan to watch it in the next few days.
As Disney sequels go, it sucked fewer balls than I expected. Which is to say it was a less than agonizing experience. The fact that my 4-year-old, who’ll watch Scooby Doo 18 times in a row, only wanted to see it 4 times is telling, however.
Hard to suck toucan balls as they are internal, located near the adrenal gland just superior to the kidneys.
Suisan, who had to dissect many pigeons in Comparative Vertebrate Anatomy to create display dissections for those who refused to perform the dissections themselves due to ethical concerns. (One dissection for digestive, one for reproductive, etc. Ended up using lots more birds than if they had just dissected one per person. Humph.)
Pat, blog on your thoughts, okay?
sxKitten, Scooby Doo totally sucks wet doggy balls. I HATE Scooby Doo. And I don’t use that word lightly.
Suisan, I have a hard time generating sympathy for pigeons . . . and I love birds.
I am in agreement with your assessment of S.D. Totally.
I’m with Jake on the Kronk movie. It did suck balls – and pinning it down to one specific animal’s balls kind of reduces the amount of suckage it actually entails.
In other words, it sucks all balls.
heh heh heh
I love it when you talk dirty.