Pestopia

I remember the first time I held hands with a girl, and I remember my first dish of oh-my-God-what-IS-this-stuff pesto, and I would be hard-pressed to tell you which moment was more intensely pleasurable.

Better than sex, that’s for sure. Capellini con pesto, angel hair pasta with pesto, piping hot on a plain white dish served from a hole in the wall restaurant somewhere on the Venice Beach Boardwalk. I was twenty-two, maybe twenty-three, and until that moment I had thought scampi was the ultimate food. Never more.

I made pesto tonight, but not from a recipe. Never from a recipe. Part of the fun lies in playing with the balance of ingredients, trying to find that perfect combination which pops your eyes and makes you say, “OH, YES.” This combination will be different for everyone, so why mess with recipes?

Some of you claim you can’t bake potatoes, but if you own a food processor, you can make pesto. It’s easy. Let’s talk about the basics first, and then we’ll explore variations.

Your basic pesto includes fresh basil, fresh garlic (which you have peeled yourself), parmigiano reggiano, olive oil, toasted nuts, salt, and freshly ground black pepper. Pine nuts are traditional, but I’ve used walnuts and pecans with great success. Toast your nuts, let them cool. Peel your garlic and chop it coarsely. Chop a hunk of parmigiano reggiano into rough chunks. You’re ready to go.

I don’t rinse my basil, since water is more harmful to pesto than pesticides. If you have a salad spinner, wash away. Pick the leaves off the stems and place them in the work bowl of your food processor. Add the garlic, parmigiano reggiano, nuts, and some salt and pepper. Process until all the big pieces have turned into little pieces. Scrape down the sides. Process again, this time adding olive oil until you have something the consistency of cream of wheat. Taste. Correct for salt and pepper.

Remember that you will be using this as a sauce on pasta, so it should be a little too salty, a little too garlicky. That’s okay. You can add too much salt, by the way — this is one of the few ways to truly ruin pesto.

Want some rough proportions? Here’s a ballpark guess:

1 to 2 cups of packed fresh basil leaves, or more
Enough parmigiano reggiano to make 1 cup of ground cheese

1/2 cup of toasted nuts

3 to 4 large garlic cloves (but remember, I’m a garlic fiend)

1/2 to 1 cup of olive oil

1/2 teaspoon salt (you’ll probably add more before you’re done)

1/2 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper

I meant what I said about personal differences. Some folks like a nuttier pesto, while others will prefer more basil, more garlic, and so forth. Taste your end product. You really cannot overprocess pesto, so don’t be afraid to experiment with additional basil, cheese, garlic, and so forth.

If you check out some other online pesto recipes, you’ll see that everyone’s proportions differ. I like a nuttier, cheesier pesto than those folks.

Here are some key tips:

1. Pesto must be served hot, hot, hot. When I strain my pasta, I use the serving bowl to catch the boiling water. This heats the serving bowl, which in turn will keep my pesto hot. It’s also a good idea to warm up the individual pasta bowls. To do this, I put a wet paper towel on the dish and microwave the dish and towel for 10-15 seconds. Remove the paper towel, dry the dish, and I’m ready to roll.

2. Save a small amount of the strained pasta water. Combine cooked pasta and the pesto in the still-hot pasta pot and stir rapidly. Yes, this will make an icky pot to clean, but you’re trying to keep your pasta hot, damn it. Add enough pasta water to develop the sauce. Don’t overdo this step — yes, you can add too much water.

3. Serve immediately.

4. I have never found a good way to reheat a pesto dish.

5. You will make more pesto than you need for one meal. Scrape the leftover pesto sauce out of the food processer work bowl into a soup bowl. Smooth the top, then add a thin layer of olive oil. Cover with plastic wrap and put it in your freezer. It will keep for months, and the oil layer will keep the pesto from oxidizing.

Variations

1. Sometimes, I like to make a more robust pesto. I’ll add two or three anchovy filets, a half teaspoon of red pepper flakes, and more garlic. If you try this, remember not to add salt until you have tasted the pesto first (anchovies are salty, don’t ya know).

2. I mentioned above that you can use pine nuts, walnuts, and pecans. They each have a unique flavor. Some folks will save some of the toasted nuts to sprinkle on the pasta dish before serving.

3. If you’re looking for an alternative cheese, Romano is the usual option. I once used Mizithra, and that was tasty (although a bit overwhelming).

4. You can also use different greens. I’ve never been a big fan of cilantro-based pestos for pasta, but these do make great sauces for chicken. I’ve seen recipes for spinach pesto, sorrel-chive pesto, parsley pesto, even beet pesto. This arugula pesto recipe sounds wonderful, as does this pesto rouge, a sundried tomato pesto. I think Karen would go nuts for that one.

How about a Kalamata olive pesto? Purple pesto! I would love it, but in my household, I would be the only one.

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Yikes. Look at the time. And I had such plans for tonight . . .

Oh, well. If even one of you makes pesto for the first time thanks to this post, then my time has been well spent.

D.