Balls and Walnuts
more than you ever wanted to know
Our story thus far
Well, I finished Book Five of George R. R. Martin’s Game of Thrones yesterday (A Feast for Crows), and I lasted all of one day before buying Book Six, which I think is called A Gaggle of Geese A Dance With Dragons. Those of you who have read these books know that Martin’s literary sprawl knows no bounds — I mean, this guy makes Neal Stephenson look terse — and Dance With Dragons with its 1000 pages represents another leap forward in page count . . . particularly when you consider that Books Five and Six are actually one book that Martin has separated into two contemporaneous groups of multiple story lines.
Surprisingly, it all works. Most of the time. I must confess that when Martin goes on and on about what’s emblazoned on this or that House’s shields and banners, my eyes glaze over, and I skip ahead, invoking Elmore Leonard’s dictum about leaving out what other people skip (since I can’t leave it out, I skip it). And some characters are too loathsome to waste much time on. I skim Sansa’s chapters, as I do Cersei’s. Regarding Cersei, I don’t mind evil witches, but I really really mind stupid evil witches.
Most pleasant surprise among the various story arcs: that Martin was able to rehabilitate Jaime’s character. I didn’t think it would be possible.
Most annoying aspect of having to wait maybe another six years for book seven: Martin left Arya in some bad straits at the end of Book Five, and it irritates the piss out of me that I’m going to have to wait forever to find out what happens to her. I mean, book six is 1000+ pages, and I am going to have to wait nearly until the end to find out what has become of her. I dreamed about this story arc, I was so irked.
Best thing about having Book Six in hand (on cell phone, to be exact): I can finally catch up with Tyrion’s story line. Us little guys need to stick together.
D.
I agree with you, mostly – I don’t skip Cersei’s chapters because I think you need someone to hate in a massive series like this and Cersei is a good candidate, although there are some others that give her a run like Walder Frey and Petr Baelish and… – anyway, I agree mostly.
The funny thing is that this massive soap opera with swords works – it shouldn’t. It is so long and involved and filled with angst and death and treachery that it should be a dreary slog, but it’s most emphatically not, and in fact the passages where it lags are surprisingly few.
He does go on a bit about the armour and the shields and the cloaks and the badges and the helms and the banners, doesn’t he? I’m re-reading the first 5, to get ready for #6, and am finding all the lavish, loving descriptions of who wore what a bit laughable. It’s fond laughter, though – the guy’s earned the right to babble on about whatever catches his fancy, IMHO, and the detailed descriptions make it clear that he knows this world, and these people, inside and out, and that’s what makes the series so compelling.
Skim, not skip. I think the only time I ever skipped was a significant portion of one of Bran’s chapters in, um, Book Two? I find Bran to be kind of a depressing character. As I suspect I will find the new Arya. I hope I’m wrong.
And waddya mean, Petr Balish a bad guy? He did off — oh, we’ll call her “that bitch” to avoid spoilers — in book four, so isn’t the enemy of my enemy my friend? 🙂
Chris, yeah, I agree, I cut him a lot of slack for having created such an incredibly rich world. But even Martin doesn’t have an encyclopedic knowledge of his world. Listen to the interview he gave for NPR — he defers to the folks who run the Westeros website for the nitty gritty details.
Oh, one gripe about Martin: as a lover of ferrets, I really really hate the way he describes damn near every character he wants us to dislike as having a “weasel face,” or some such.
Everyone knows ferrets are adorable, admirable and honourable. I’m sure he’s referring to Mustela nivalis, the Least Weasel, who will chew your toes off while you sleep, knock up your wife and wrap your car around a tree, the sneaky bastards. If Martin calls someone “ferret face”, you know he’ll be the sole survivor when the dust settles.