Balls and Walnuts
more than you ever wanted to know
Fractales: the ending (and rules)
Flora held the Critter Keeper up to her eyes, shook the cage, and clucked softly. “Li’l feller’s kinda cute.â€
“Not a chance,†said Bob. He peeled back the foil from his Big Mac and polished off the burger in five bites.
In the Critter Keeper, only a pink smudge remained.
“You can try again,†said Flora.
He patted his hands against his belly. “Yeah, better luck next time. So, Skinny — how would you like to make love to a fat man?â€
Her mouth twitched into a smile. “You mean it?â€
“I’ve been itching to see you in that Cat Woman outfit for the last three weeks.â€
“You got a deal, Doughboy,†Flora said, and plastered him with sloppy kisses.
In case anyone’s curious, these are the last 119 words of my short story “Sprouts,” which hasn’t sold, and is currently not out for consideration. I reserve the right to publish my own version of the story, which I completed in February 2005.
1. Read the whole story chain before deciding how you wish to continue the story backwards.
2. Write however many words you please describing what happens before this snippet. I recommend 150 words or less.
3. Post your contribution on your blog. At the end of your contribution, write “Read what happens next!” (or something similar) and hyperlink it to this blog entry.
4. Cut and paste these rules to the end of your blog entry. It’s that easy!
For those of you who are coming on board at the very beginning, rule #1 is irrelevant. If you’ve read this far, you’ve read the whole story.
You’ll notice I’m not tagging anyone, nor am I giving you a “tag so-many people” rule. If this is a crappy idea, I’d like it to die a natural death, without me flogging it along. Besides, if other folks think this idea is fun, it should take off on its own power — like the blonde joke.
Ready, set, go!
D.
Mel Gibson (the non-satirical version), is threatening to sue me.
Oy. But it makes sense . . . the guy clearly has no sense of humor.
I would think you’d be protected under the First Amendment, since it’s satire, but this is Bush’s America.
Good Evening, Mr. Hoffman
Just in case you didn’t have the time to follow up on your wish to post the Jon Stewart “taint” video segment. Voila.
1/18/06
Well, that’s interesting. I know for a fact that I pasted the URL properly since it’s there to view in “Source.” But, the URL will only take you to the correct Crooks & Liars page (scroll down a bit); it won’t take you directly to the video. Perhaps there are issues of which I’m not aware?
Douglas, thank you for alerting me to Mel’s plight. I have expressed my support at Snape’s Reliquary, and I encourage your readers to help champion Mel’s cause.
Thanks, Professor. And thank you, rof, for the link. I’ll be adding it to my post ASAP.
Well, if he gets away with distorting Scottish history in Braveheart, you should get away with poking fun at him. Good luck with your blog.