Balls and Walnuts
more than you ever wanted to know
Remake hell
Why does Hollywood do nothing but remakes? Or at least that’s how it seems sometimes. In the gym last weekend, I watched nearly all of Ben Stiller’s version of Heartbreak Kid. The original, starring Charles Grodin in the title role and Cybill Shepherd as the girl he meets and falls in love with while on his honeymoon, was an odd gem — I remember not being sure whether to laugh or cringe at Grodin’s sociopathic character. Been a long time since I saw that movie, but I recall it as an oddity: edgy, not a little disturbing. Certainly not rom-com.
The new one is pure rom-com, with only the slightest nod to the original working its way in with the ending “twist” (ZOMG, he’s gonna break another heart!) Other than that, the new version is pure formula, with new love interest Michelle Monaghan being oh-so-perfect (and beautiful, but who wouldn’t be beautiful compared to a baked lobster covered with Noxzema?), throwaway cameos by Carlos Mencia, Daily Show alum Rob Corddry, and Ben’s dad Jerry, and requisite grossness (which seems to be de rigeur ever since Something About Mary) supplied by a folk cure for jellyfish stings.
Broadway is even worse, stealing regularly from books, movies, and itself. Hairspray the musical surprised me, but I’m not holding my breath for Pink Flamingos the musical. But I do reserve dibs for the libretto for The Exorcist the musical. Imagine: possessed Regan in full makeup, head turned 180 degrees, cross brandished, lapsing into song! Oh, I love it already. It’ll be the best thing to hit Broadway since they recycled The Producers.
D.
