Balls and Walnuts
more than you ever wanted to know
That’s just out there
My son’s latest assignment for Theology:
“Write about a dying-and-rising experience you had in the last year. In other words, a time when you had to go through struggles or suffering to grow as a person.”
I told him he should write, “Unlike Jesus, who only died and resurrected once, I die and resurrect on a regular basis. It’s called videogaming. Jesus saves early, saves often!” And sometimes autosaves (that, from Karen).
And if you find that at all amusing, there’s this, from Lyvvie. (Not for folks who, you know, have reverential feelings toward religion.)
Seriously, though, a dying-and-rising experience? How many kids have had a dying-and-rising experience?
“Tell her about the time you swigged a can of Drano, thinking it was Dr. Pepper, and then you had to get that stomach transplant.”
I’m no help at all.
D.
I’m sure if you freeze bluebottle flies and then warm them on your hand it’s as if they’ve come back to life. I’m sure I read that somewhere as an old conjurers trick. He can perform a visual for extra credit. Or what about a comic dying on stage and then reviving his act? you’ve worked in ER, surely someone died and then was brought back after a lot of chest thumping and paddle zapping, ripped from the pending Heavenly rewards back into temptation and possibly sin again and lose everything? A second chance to fuck it all up! There you go, the disgruntled survivor’s tale.
Thanks. Unfortunately, these stories have to be personal. How many 14-year-olds have an experience that qualifies? And it has to have been in the last year!
I don’t mind that they’re trying to get the kids to be introspective — I think that’s a good thing. But some of these exercises are impossible.
That’s quite the assignment. HA2.0’s in a catholic school, too, but so far they’ve only had to write short stories – no introspection required. Although I suppose it’s just barely possible that she HAS had similar assignments but declined to ask for help from the heathens in the family.
She did, however, agree to include the phrase “best served with fava beans and a nice chianti” in a biology assignment where she had to describe the liver. We’re still waiting for our grade on that one.
I don’t think “dying and rising” really works as a metaphor for overcoming personal struggles. Being down and rising up I can understand, but not being dead and rising up. That would take a miracle as in the story of Lazarus.
Lyvvie…funny post!
I agree…most 14-year-olds are not THIS introspective and haven’t had these kinds of experiences especially in the last year. If Jacob was a street kid, then I guess he could write about a real struggle and what that experience taught him. Does his theology teacher have a sense of humor? If not, when stumped, make it up. Who’s to know?
Chris: let us know how that one goes 😉
Lucie, yes, I agree. And if I were Christian, I suspect I might find the assignment mildly offensive, since it would tend to demean the symbolism of the resurrection by having kids compare it to things in their lives which needs must be far less impressive than death and resurrection.
Sis, he unfortunately has my compulsive honesty. He managed to think of something, but it was a reach.
Oh, and Lyvvie didn’t write that post . . . she just linked to it over on Facebook.
Sadly, we got no reaction whatsoever. Obviously we need to up the ante.
Yeah, my posts always suck which is why I promote better ones instead.
Solipsists don’t have this resurrection trouble.
Chris: How do you up the ante? Actual cannibalism?
Lyvvie, dear, no your posts do NOT suck. I just figured you wouldn’t want to steal the credit 😉
I’m not sure what our next move will be, but there’s a huge family reunion today (my grandfather’s 99th b-day!) so I can harness the power of many twisted minds.
Happy birthday to grandpa!