Balls and Walnuts
more than you ever wanted to know
Undersexed men of the world, unite
You have nothing to lose but your woodies.
Overheard at The Washington Note (who says Mr. Clemons only cares about politics?): this international sex survey by the good folks at Durex. A few moist facts for your Sunday brunch:
The French claim to have the most sex (on average, 137 times per year), while the Japanese are having the least (46). Yet, knowing the Japanese national propensity for overdoing it, each of those 46 episodes no doubt involved multiple partners, mirrored ceilings, and toys so high-tech the rest of us can only watch Futurama and dream.
The British spend the most time on foreplay (22.5 minutes). Thais spend the least (11.5 minutes). Americans match the international average (19.7 minutes). And I ask: why so little time on foreplay? Even the 16- to 20-year-old cohort spent, on average, a measly 21.6 minutes on foreplay. What’s wrong with kids today?
Italians are the most orgasmic (61%), Chinese the least (19%). Hope that’s not genetic.
17% of men claim to have faked an orgasm. Huh?
The Chinese have had the most sexual partners (19.3), Vietnamese the least (2.5), with the great melting pot, the American satan, once again matching the international average (10.3).
Macedonians lead the world in spankings (42%), followed closely by the US of A (41%).
I’ll let you folks search for more tidbits. I’ve already tried trotting out the stats for Karen, but the wife? Meh. She’s unimpressed by their statistical techniques. (Actually, what she said was, “Everyone lies on those things.”)
D.
In a recent poll my fellow islanders declared they felt closer to France than Britain. Yep, it’s nice having the best of both ;o)
Any time now with the NaNo! Go, Doug, goooooooo…
Dang, 137 times a year. My goal would be 100. Lets be realistic though, 52 times a year. Any less and I would have withdrawals.
I just want to be above average. Is that asking so much?
Huh. I don’t believe their answers. Unless they have researchers witnessing the events with stop watches and/or calendars, I don’t buy the times or partners or any thing else.
Hey, you finished nano. doesn’t that make you above average? It’s surely a reflection of your stamina and patience, right?
So.
When does Karen chime in on this thread?
The Brits spent the most time on foreplay? Huh. Kinda flys in the face of British men being rather, erm, bad in the sack.
Of course, quantity doesn’t mean quality. They could, as Donna on “That Seventies Show” said, be doing the equivelent of tuning a radio station for 22-minutes.
I’m wondering about those Chinese stats; those are seriously strange numbers. The Chinese government does NOT encourage promiscuity but their demographics are horribly skewed due to their “one child” policy and the resulting abortion/infanticide of girls so there is a serious lack of young women in China. Is there an underground prostitution industry or homosexuality? That would explain the large number of sexual partners.
Karen
And the Germans don’t have sex at all?