Balls and Walnuts
more than you ever wanted to know
Stephen Colbert soliciting fan fic
Yeah, you heard me! Stephen Colbert, lately of The Daily Show, now of the eponymous Report, wants your fan fic. Here are the guidelines, which I have lifted from Stephen’s blog:
No show to recap this morning, but we’ve got plenty in store this week! We’re finally going to start posting some of the excellent fan fiction you guys have been sending in – keep ’em coming! I do want to remind you all that we have certain ground rules, which some people have been breaking. Specifically:
- All fanfics must be broken up into chapters, and sent in piece-by-piece. I appreciate the effort you put into The Colbert Odyssey: Search for the Codex of Wisdom, Shelly F. of Piedmont, KY, but sending me a 1700-page novel via overnight mail and checking the “recipient will pay shipping” box is not cool!
- It doesn’t count as fan fiction if you just take a copyrighted work and insert Stephen as a character. I’m looking at you, Pete G., author of Harry Potter and Stephen Colbert and the Half-Blood Prince.
- Finally – and I didn’t think this would be a problem, but it is definitely a problem – PLEASE keep your fanfics R-rated or less! We’ve been getting some stuff that… I just… well, I’d never heard of some of this stuff before. And then I made the mistake of looking it up on the Internet. Please, just… just stop.
That’s it! Actually, one more thing. It turns out that a lot of people are submitting fanfics with similar storylines – great minds think alike! However, we’ve received more than enough submissions on the following topics:
Stephen saves the world
Stephen the astronaut
Stephen is a superhero
Stephen becomes President
Stephen hangs with Jesus
Stephen abducted by aliens
Stephen and Jon Stewart are buddy cops
Stephen in the Wild West
Stephen wins aliens over to our side
Stephen the race car driver, with special appearance by Paul Dinello
Stephen presides over futuristic alien techno-paradise
Stephen on BroadwayOK, those are the rules – keep emailing me those submissions (webmaster@colbertnation.com!)
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Get crackin! Come November 1st, you won’t have the time for such shenanigans, thanks to NaNoWriMo.
D.
Harriet is gone, alas we never knew ye, Harriet.
[sobbing into a handkerchief]
…not that I’m a conspiracy theory type, but isn’t the timing interesting? Harriet taking the heat off Fitzmas Eve? (I should object to the celebratory air. We should be shocked and in mourning–how did this ship of state get into this state? Of course it’s been Lodged on the Rocky Shores of Corruption for Years, so might as well loot the thing and build another. Can you hold a bad metaphor contest next, please?)
Okay, never mind I lurve conspiracy theories.
Be still my palpitating heart! Stephen Colbert has a blog. I’ve got that squidgy feeling.
Doug, I may have to abandon my almost starstruck/stalker fascination with you… alas.
X
Christine, face it. Yer a fangirl.
Before you get too squidgy, I don’t think Colbert actually writes the material on that blog.